T’is the season…

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a bit of a break between the election and holiday shopping season?

Silver lining to stores increasingly planning to open on Thanksgiving: It means an excuse other than football not to talk to your relatives.

So “The X Factor”, which purports to discover talent, is now co-hosted by Khloe Kardashian. Anyone but me find that kind of an oxymoron?

Two rushing TD’s for Andrew Luck  Thursday night.   Who does he think he is? RG3?

Meanwhile,  Joe Namath is the latest to publicly question why the NY Jets aren’t using Tim Tebow more often. And some Jets fans are so frustrated they’re thinking “Joe, I wanna kiss you.”

In college football , Cal (3-7) is playing Oregon (9-0) in Berkeley this Saturday, The Ducks have outscored opponents 176-29 in the first quarter so far in 2012. So a simple tip for Bears fans who want to see a close game – get there early.

A USC student football manager was suspended for deflating five game balls below regulation levels (which apparently makes them easier to throw) for last week’s USC-Oregon game. Insert USC ‘no real balls” joke here:

Guess the media is still getting used to slower news days after the election. A CNN.com headline – “Thanksgiving planes likely to be full.” (Uh, can anyone remember a year when they weren’t?”)

Today in Florida and Ohio, millions of residents discovered  they are actually HAPPY to turn on the television and see used-car commercials.

USC coach Lane Kiffin now insists publicly that a student-manager who intentionally deflated footballs (to make them easier for Matt Barkley to throw) against Oregon, acted completely on his own. Wonder if Kiffin added privately “Wish I’d thought of that before we played Stanford.”

NY Jets CB Antonio Cromartie guaranteed the Jets will be playing in the 2012 postseason. What, like he guaranteed the eight mothers of his children that he wouldn’t get them pregnant?

Las Vegas casino owner Sheldon Adelson spent more than $54 million on losing races Tuesday, mostly on the Presidential election. Wonder how tight his slot machines will be this weekend to make up for it?

From my friend Tom Dodd:  Wouldn’t it be much more efficient if the Presidential Election were simply staged in Ohio, which always seems to represent the final result anyway? It would save a lot of money and fuel, and the rest of the country could avoid the bombardment of campaign ads for that office.

Explore posts in the same categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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