Posted tagged ‘upset jokes’

It’s clearly his fault….

March 19, 2015

Texas Southern – gone, SMU – gone, Texas – gone, Baylor – gone. Last time the state of Texas had a day this bad, the Alamo was involved.

Stephen F. Austin makes a strong showing but joins Thursday’s Texas ‪#‎MarchMadness‬ loss parade. How long will it take Ted Cruz to blame Obama?

So many upsets and busted brackets that with their lack of  productivity today, American office workers are being named honorary members of Congress. ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

That stampeding sound you hear is every potential GOP Presidential candidate rushing to tell Iowans “I feel your pain.”

(UAB over Iowa State.)

Looking good for cat brackets. Georgia State is the Panthers. (Two most common reactions across America – “Georgia State has a Panther mascot?” “Georgia State has a team?”)

 

How many of their nine lives did ‪#Bearcats‬ use in beating ‪#‎Purdue‬?    And thus earning a beat down by Kentucky.

 

But really, Bearcats are  not real cats. But that last Cincinnati shot at the buzzer in regulation sure looked like voodoo was involved. ‪#‎Marchmadness‬

It has been an absolute consensus that ‪#‎UCLA‬ did not belong in the ‪#‎NCAATournament‬. Apparently neither did ‪#‎SMU‬
Getting into the NCAA tournament when with their record they belonged in the NIT, then winning on a disputed goal tending call on a 3-point shot. Well, maybe God IS a UCLA Bruin. Or maybe he/she REALLY doesn’t like that east coast bias.
Larry Brown says Kentucky could make the playoffs in the NBA East. Coach John Calipari is thinking “Make the playoffs in the East? That’s absurd. We should be at least a five seed.”
Liza Minnelli is back in rehab. At this point is she getting a frequent stay discount?
The SF Giants announced that Angel Pagan is having back issues, will need an injection, and will miss at least another three games. So congrats to everyone who had March 19 in the pool.
President Obama yesterday publicly mulled the idea of mandatory voting. Why go to the trouble of making it the law? Just give everyone who votes a lottery ticket…. The USA would be at 90% turnout in no time.
Israel PM Benjamin Netanyahu, after promising during his campaign that there would be no Palestinian state, today said “I don’t want a one-state solution. I want a sustainable, peaceful two-state solution…” So I guess he has more in common with American politicians than many of us thought.

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Upset stomachs.

March 18, 2011
March 17 was a day for upset stomachs  – for drinkers and nondrinkers alike, the day after St. Patrick’s Day.    Especially for those who had Louisville into the Final Four.
There was actually a semi-upset in the play-in round, as the relatively unheralded VCU Rams knocked off the  USC Trojans, 59-46.   USC players were particularly upset after the game and wishing they’d gone to the NIT.  Now all that’s left for them this year is the prospect of going to class.
#13 Morehead State 62, #4 Louisville 61. This might be the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to coach Rick Pitino, at least while he kept his pants on.
Ken Griffey, Jr now says that he abruptly retired last year because he felt he had “become a distraction.”  Upon hearing the news Brett Favre giggled.
San Diego Chargers linebacker Kevin Burnett called NFL commissioner Roger Goddell a “blatant liar” in an radio interview. Goddell was shocked – a University Tennessee football graduate knows the word “blatant?”
A co-pilot for United Express has been charged with flying while drunk on a flight last December from Austin to Denver. Wonder if this means the next airline ticket surcharge will be for a breathalyzer in the cockpit?

Actor Michael Gough, 94, died today. His most memorable role, on television and in the movies was as Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne/Batman’s butler. Wonder if God called him home on the Batphone?

SF Giants’ ace Tim Lincecum was quoted in the SF Chronicle as saying his favorite “In and Out Burger’ order is  “Three Double-Doubles. Two fries. A chocolate-strawberry shake. Ketchup please, but hold the lettuce and tomatoes.”

Wow, wonder what would give a skinny little guy like him such a major case of the munchies?

A sign that we’re getting closer to the beginning of the regular season and real baseball.  Wednesday night The Mariners’ Milton Bradley was ejected for the first time in 2011 

Now that several of OSUs star players, including QB Terrelle Pryor, have been suspended 5 games for selling memorabilia, coach Jim Tressel has requested his own suspension also be increased to 5 games. Partly this may be in hopes of leniency from the NCAA. Or partly it may be, with his stars gone, Tressel doesn’t want the potential losses on his watch.

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