Posted tagged ‘Rush jokes’

You’re a rich girl…..

March 6, 2012

Ann Romney said in a Fox News interview “I don’t even consider myself wealthy.” What’s her definition of wealthy? When you can no longer remember how many houses you have?

AOL has now become the 8th advertiser to drop Rush Limbaugh. They would have done it sooner, but their executives who download AOL to keep up on the news just found out about the scandal.

Some want Rush Limbaugh’s talk show off the the air. Not sure. At this point he’s doing a great job fundraising for the Democratic party

A new channel, “Dog TV” is expanding in the U.S. For $4.99 a month (and who knows how much electricity) dog owners are supposed to leave the TV on while they are out, so that their pets don’t suffer from anxiety issues, boredom and depression. And we wonder why other countries hate us.

Pat Robertson’s theory on why all those devastating tornadoes hit the Midwest last week – not enough prayer: “”If enough people were praying [God] would’ve intervened. Wonder how many people it would take praying to have God get rid of Pat Robertson?

You can’t make this “stuff” up – United-Continental merger division: “If you have forgotten your PIN, you will need to change it to proceed. Please complete the following information to change your MileagePlus PIN.” And you start by entering the CURRENT PIN. (Yes, the one you’ve forgotten.)

Last week, former Cal QB Joe Ayoob broke a Guinness World Record by throwing a paper airplane 226 feet, 10 inches. Brett Favre tried to top him, but the airplane was intercepted and run back for a touchdown.

A new Lifetime reality show titled “Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp,” will “offer an insight into the life of the 21-year-old mother as she raises her 3-yr old son,”, and “also focus on her relationship with her parents, Sarah and Todd Palin, and her siblings.” In related news, Sarah Palin blasted the media for not leaving her family alone.

Syracuse University said they allowed 10 players who violated their drug policy to continue playing basketball. Gosh. What’s next? Admitting the players didn’t always live up to academic standards either?

No telling for sure now how many of the failed tests involved marijuana, though rumors are that it was most of them. Guess maybe the Orangemen’s defense was that they wanted to get their players NBA ready.

Ndamukong Suh. commenting on the bounty situation: “Me personally, I don’t take part in those things and knowing my teammates and knowing my coaches, we wouldn’t allow that.” Possible translation? “I like to stomp people for free.”

No doubt the Saints will pay for being caught in a bounty scandal. But teams are trying to knock their opponents’ stars out of games? In related news from Casablanca, Captain Renault is still “shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.”

Another quote from from a wacky liberal on the GOP primary: “It’s been I think, the worst campaign I’ve ever seen in my life. I hate it. I hate the fact that people think ‘compromise’ is a dirty word.” The speaker, former first lady Barbara Bush.

It’s not going to happen but….you go girl! Stacey Newman, a Missouri House member who’s frustrated with all the recent debates over birth control and abortions, has proposed legislation to allow vasectomies only when necessary to protect a man from serious injury or death..

(my friend Candace Cambra adds that Virginia State Senator Janet Howell, introduced an amendment to a mandatory ultrasound bill that would require men to have a rectal exam before being prescribed Viagra.)

Former NFL wide receiver Randy Moss will tryout for New Orleans on Tuesday. Guess they figure having him in a Saints uniform can’t be any more embarrassing than “Bounty-gate.”

Rush to judgment.

October 14, 2009

Apparently Rush Limbaugh has been dropped from the group of investors trying to buy the St. Louis Rams. This will help assure that the biggest losers associated with the Rams remain on the field.

Regarding the opposition to letting Rush Limbaugh become a part-owner of the St. Louis Rams. To be fair, maybe the NFL felt it would be uncomfortable for Rush to be around all those liberals at the owners’ meetings.

Yankees fans maintain their team has done so well this year, not because of their over $200 million payroll, but because of sound management. Yeah, and David Letterman would have still had all those women if he were a starving standup comic in Brooklyn.

There are rumors that the Bills may trade T.O. to the Bears. Oh, come on, with the Olympics, Cubs and White Sox, haven’t sports fans in Chicago suffered enough?


Today the San Francisco Giants fired their hitting coach. Which comes as a shock to most fans. The Giants HAD a hitting coach?

John McCain’s chief campaign strategist said of their choice of Sarah Palin – “I believe to this day that had she not been picked as a vice presidential candidate, we would have never been ahead, not for one second, not for one minute, not for one hour, not for one day.”

Which is about as often as they ended up ahead with her.

City officials of Hiroshima and Nagasaki are planning a bid to jointly host the 2020 Olympics. Says Marc Ragovin: “I’m telling ya, there is gonna be a lot of fallout over this.”