Posted tagged ‘miss usa jokes’

Missing Tony already.

June 16, 2014

Well seriously,  this just sucks. R.I.P Tony Gwynn.  54 years old. One of my favorite all-time players. If there are baseball teams in heaven one of their team batting averages is about to go up.

And many times have I heard some variation on this today? “I’m a “fill-in-the-blank-with-MLB-team” fan, but my favorite player who wasn’t on my team was Tony Gwynn. #tooyoung

My son forwards Tony Gwynn’s career high for strikeouts in a season – 40. 40!?    For Adam Dunn that’s a good month.

My little Tony Gwynn story. The Padres were at Candlestick when the Giants were thinking of moving in 1992. And Gwynn was cheerfully signing autographs for lots of SF fans before the game. I was in the crowd with my son and as Tony signed our ball, I told him that a lot of SF Giants fans might end up rooting for the Padres if our team moved to Tampa. He looked surprised and said “But wouldn’t you all root for the Dodgers first?” LOUD nos and boos from the crowd. Gwynn just smiled, laughed and said “Ok, I got it.” A nice guy, a class act, gone WAY too soon.

 

 

The USA won their opening World Cup game against Ghana. So millions of Americans might have to pretend to care about soccer for a couple more weeks.

 

Oops, Delta Airlines tweeted congratulations for the U.S win over Ghana today. With accompanying pictures to represent the two countries – the Statue of Liberty and a giraffe. Cute. Except Ghana has no giraffes. The picture was from Kenya. Well, it’s not like the airline business requires any knowledge of geography.

Now we really know the World Cup is in full swing. We’ve had our first tie – between Iran and Nigeria. And a 0-0 tie at that.

An Australian couple heading to the World Cup apparently ended up in El Salvador instead of Salvador, Brazil apparently due to a travel agent error. Here’s my question, did they actually look at their itinerary? “Wow honey, only four hours to get to Brazil from Los Angeles.” #cantfixstupid

All these commentators waxing lyrical last night about the beautiful team play of the Spurs. The same commentators who a couple weeks ago were talking Heat three-peat against a somewhat boring aging team.

American Airlines sent an offer to frequent fliers to earn bonus miles and “Enjoy six hand-selected wines from France for only $9.75 per bottle plus 1¢ shipping .” Since it’s an airline offer, presumably corks are $10 a bottle extra.

In Fresno, California, police arrested a 64-year-old man for allegedly cooking methamphetamine in his apartment at a senior retirement community. Well, that’s one way to supplement social security.

Texas Governor Rick Perry again, asked specifically if he believes therapy should be used to change the behavior of someone who is gay. “You know, I don’t know. The fact is, we’ll leave that to the psychologists and doctors.” Uh, so he’ll leave this issue to the “experts,” but not say an issue like climate change?

 

 

Miss Nevada, Nia Sanchez, who became Miss USA, has been accused of being a carpetbagger because she until recently had lived (and entered pageants) in California. And during an interview today, Sanchez couldn’t name the capital of Nevada. But to be fair, wonder how many other Miss USA contestants could name the capital of their own states?

 

Plenty of Republicans blaming some degree of the current mess in Iraq on President Obama. Of course, they have credibility because they were all so critical of George W. Bush starting the 2003 war in the first place….

 

 

From T.C.   On former North Carolina college basketball star  Rashad McCants   claiming he made the dean’s list without ever attending a class: “’Big deal,” said some Auburn football players, “did you get paid too?’”

Sins of Our Fathers?

June 16, 2013

#FathersDay is always a big day for awkward family phone calls. Especially. in the NBA, where the response to a “Happy Father’s Day phone conversation often starts “So which one are you, anyway?”

Who says there’s no bipartisan agreement in this country.  Anyone outside of South Florida tonight not rooting for the San Antonio Spurs against the Miami Heat?

Whatever happens in game 6 and 7, guess there are children in Africa who will be enjoying their “NBA Championship Heat Sweep” t-shirts.

No word on what Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will call their baby. Wonder if they’re auctioning off naming rights?

Ian Kennedy says his 10 game suspension for throwing at the heads of Yasiel Puig and Zach Greinke doesn’t make sense. He’s probably right. It should have been 30.

New Yorkers are a different breed. A woman appears to have committed suicide by jumping from the 12th floor of her ritzy Upper East Side apartment, and a neighbor, who told a reporter the woman was fully clothed including shoes added “”They look like nice dress shoes.”

Stanford graduation speaker today New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg. So wonder if the stadium banned guests bringing in large soft drinks?

Sarah Palin on Syria. “I say let Allah sort it out. ” But then adding “until we have a commander-in-chief who knows what they’re doing.” You’d think the one thing Palin might be an expert on quitting while she’s ahead.

Watching all the best golfers in the world head to the wrong side of par, appears like the real winner at the U.S. Open today was the Merion course.

 

In what apparently was a bad mood last night Texas A&M Aggies sophomore quarterback Johnny Manziel tweeted then deleted the following “Bulls— like tonight is a reason why I can’t wait to leave college station…whenever it may be.” Well, this ought to make Manziel real popular with the local fans if he has a sophomore slump.

 

What happened to “World Peace?” Miss Utah tonight, asked in the Miss USA pageant about the fact that women are primary breadwinners in 40% of households, but still earn less than men. ““I think we can relate this back to education, and how we are continuing to try to strive to… figure out how to create jobs right now. That is the biggest problem right now. “I think, especially the men are … um … seen as the leaders of this, and so we need to see how to … create education better. So that we can solve this problem. Thank you.”

Let me guess,  Miss Utah is neither seeing herself as a future breadwinner nor someone who needs to concern herself much with education.