Posted tagged ‘Jon Huntsman jokes’

When we hope the Lights Don’t Go Down in the City.

January 16, 2012

The 49ers get another playoff home game, which should be at night. Will ticket holders be asked to bring flashlights?

Lakers 73, Dallas 70? Or was that score left over from a Baylor football game?

How long until we start seeing Costa Concordia cocktails? Presumably something Italian on the rocks, with a lot of water.


And ah, perspective. Micky Arison, the owner of the Miami Heat, is also the CEO and majority owner of Carnival Cruise Lines, parent company of Costa. Last week if you asked him he might have said the biggest disaster he’d seen this year was Lebron’s performance in the NBA finals.


George Clooney won a Golden Globes award for “The Descendants.” Probably because as unlikely as it seemed, he actually gave a believable performance as a man a woman might actually cheat on.

Stephen Colbert, taking Mitt Romney’s “corporations are people” to its logical conclusion, now has a satiric commercial saying that Romney’s time doing leveraged buyouts makes him a serial killer. Wonder how long it will take President Obama to beg Colbert to run in more GOP primaries.

South Carolina’s leading newspaper endorsed Jon Huntsman, saying that of the “two sensible, experienced grownups in the race, he was “more principled, has a far more impressive resume and offers a significantly more important message.” So, of course after that Huntsman knew he has no chance and had to quit.

Whose endorsement was less enthusiastic? John Elway’s saying Tebow is next year’s Broncos starter? Or Jon Huntsman saying Mitt Romney is now the GOP’s best Presidential candidate?


Marc Ragovin’s take on Jon’s Huntsman’s throwing his support to Mitt Romney. That is like the Cubs having “Go Yankees” night.

Who’d a thunk it. Alex Smith this past weekend gave his best Aaron Rodgers impersonation, while Aaron Rodgers gave his best Alex Smith impersonation.

Rick Perry last weekend compared himself to Moses. And a voice from the heavens boomed down “I knew Moses, Moses was a friend of mine, Governor, you’re no Moses.”

Another in the long line of “you cannot make this ‘stuff’ up” items: Georgia Republican state Rep. Kip Smith, the sponsor of a bill that would “require random drug testing” for citizens on public assistance, was arrested early Friday morning in an Atlanta suburb and charged with DUI.

A man in Southern California have arrested a man who they say added chemicals into his wife’s Rice Krispies cereal last week in attempt to kill her. What, as opposed to the chemicals already in the cereal?

From my friend Alex Kaseberg: “Tim Tebow had a feeling he was in for a rough game against the Pats. When he prayed before the game, God told Tebow to take the Pats and give the 14.5 points.”

Dogged days.

August 23, 2011

After the violence this weekend at Candlestick Park the NFL is apparently going to end 49ers-Raiders preseason games. This isn’t a problem with Giants-As games. Oakland A’s fans don’t show up and SF Giants are too busy with their cellphones.


T.C. (from B.C.) adds – Travel Advisory Canada issues warnings on visiting: Syria, Libya, London, Dodger Stadium, Candlestick Park.


Actually the 49ers said they will ban tailgating after the game starts from now one. Which may mean less trouble post game. But considering the “last call” mentality it may behoove safety-conscious fans not to argue with anyone during the National Anthem.


Meanwhile over in Libya, Qaddafi seems to have disappeared. Has anyone checked Abbottabad? (Apparently there’s a large rental compound available.)


The U.S. Olympic Committee has announced it will not submit a bid to host the 2020 Summer Olympics. Guess with the budget issues there’s not enough potential bribe money available.


Terrelle Pryor was chosen in the supplemental draft by the Oakland Raiders. Well, guess it’s a good thing he went to Ohio State – means he can look back when he retires on SOME postseason experience.


Says Alex Schubert “Insert paycut joke here.”


But really, Terrelle Pryor with the Oakland Raiders. What a great place for a young man who has shown himself vulnerable to bad influences and making bad choices….

GOP Republican presidential candidate Jon Huntsman says he’d be open to running as vice president if rival and tea party favorite Michele Bachmann wins the nomination.

So much for that “Vote for me, I’m not crazy” strategy.

Nathan Fisher is the lawyer for four LSU football players (including QB Jordan Jefferson), accused in a bar fight. He has asked for a postponement of planned interviews for the players at police headquarters.

When asked when he would ideally prefer to reschedule the interviews, Fisher allegedly replied “anytime after the 2012 BCS bowl games.”


Lindsay Lohan apparently wore the same dress (different color) to Kim Kardashian’s wedding that Pippa Middleton wore to the reception after Kate and William’s wedding.

Makes a certain amount of sense. Pippa is world renowned for her ass. And Lindsay is now world renowned for acting like an ass.

Just wondering, all those who think Obama should have chosen a more plebeian vacation spot than Martha’s Vineyard, okay, where should they have gone? Not like the family could have just pulled up to a motel at Virginia Beach or Walt Disney World, they’d have to displace most if not all other guests and it would be an expensive security nightmare.


Meanwhile, Mitt Romney showed he’s not quite as out of touch as some say he is. Because he said he’s not going to tear down his $12 million, 3000 square foot La Jolla home to replace it with an 11,000 square-foot home until AFTER he is done with his current campaign.

Makes sense, and I do note that Mitt at least has the grace (or sense) not to complain about Obama’s Martha’s Vineyard vacation.