Posted tagged ‘ho lee fuk jokes’

The worst of Timmy, the best of Timmy.

July 14, 2013


Just guessing that no one will question Buster Posey catching Tim Lincecum again?

The first San Diego batter of the night against Tim Lincecum  was a nine-pitch at bat before he finally grounded out.  And SF Giants announcers talked about a small strike zone.  Over-under had to be about a five inning start, at best?

If Ho Lee Fuk is not an Asiana Airlines pilot he might be a ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fan watching Tim Lincecum pitch tonight.

George Zimmerman is a free man. And he’s single. Hey, Casey Anthony is available.

(So anyone want to hire Zimmerman as their neighborhood watch captain?)

For that matter, now that Zimmerman is free and can keep his gun, who volunteers to have him as a neighbor? (My guess, no one with teenage kids.)

“Fruitvale Station”, about the Oscar Grant Bart shooting, is already getting Oscar buzz.  So does this mean someday there might be a critically acclaimed movie about Trayvon Martin.

Dwight Howard says he’s looking forward to a “fresh start” in Houston. The guy is one more alienated team and fan base away from being the Manny Ramirez of basketball.

LSU’s star running back Jeremy Hill pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery during a bar fight this April. The deal that will keep him out of jail. Have to assume the team will add an additional punishment, like making him sit out the Kent State game.

23 injured in Saturday’s “Running of the Bulls.” Hey, think we can convince the Texas Legislature that this might be a fun sport for them to try in Austin?

Apparently smartphone thefts are one of the fasting growing crimes in this country. My solution: have a Blackberry. No one wants to steal the thing.

Star basketball guard, Marshall Henderson, now suspended from Old Miss, was on his , fourth college. And this suspension was the result of “multiple” failed drug tests. It’s all part of the NCAA’s “10 strikes and you’re out program.”


Wi B. Dum?

July 13, 2013

KTVU, the San Francisco Bay Area station that had been touting their first and best coverage of the Asiana airlines crash, ended up caught with a name prank that might not have fooled many high school substitute teachers,  and Friday read the names of the pilots on the doomed flight as “Sum Ting Wong, ” “Wi Tu Lo”, “Ho Lee Fuk” and “Bang Ding Ow.”

 So after today will the station change its name to K.T.V.Oops? ‪#‎KTVU‬ ‪#‎HoLeeFuk‬

So when someone gets fired this weekend from ‪#‎KTVU‬, wonder how many offers they’ll get from various shows on ‪#‎ComedyCentral‬?

So what was more unlikely? That KTVU, a major news station, would fall for a really juvenile  prank . Or that the SF Giants would score 10 runs Friday night?

You cannot make this “stuff” up: At the Texas capitol while the abortion bill is being debated, state troopers are confiscating women’s tampons and maxi pads as potential projectiles. Guns, however, are allowed. Your move, Florida.

Ariel Castro, the Cleveland kidnapping suspect now faces 977 counts against him. Amazing they couldn’t figure out how to go for an even thousand.

A new study found that eating probiotic yogurts may help with symptoms of depression and anxiety. But women already know there’s a food that accomplishes that – it’s called “chocolate.”

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner’s fiancee broke up with him this week, after Filner admitted he had behaved badly with women who worked for him. The Republican Party of San Diego cheered her move on its Facebook page, saying “she deserves better.” Somehow we all missed it when the GOP said the same thing about Maria Shriver.

PETA wants the Tampa Bay Rays to remove its rays “touch tank”, located behind the center field wall at Tropicana Field. PETA feels the fish are in danger after Miguel Cabrera hit the second home run in 6 years that splashed into the tank. (No fish were hurt either time.) What’s next, asking the SF Giants to put a cover over the bay to protect fish from their splash hits?

The Senate Democratic leader in Texas says he has stopped state troopers from confiscating women’s tampons at the door of the Capitol. What persuasion did he use? “If tampons are outlawed, only outlaws will have tampons?”

Yet another Dreamliner issue, this time a fire on an empty Ethiopian 787 parked at Heathrow airport. Sort of puts a whole new slant on “nonsmoking” and “smoking” sections.

The Canadian Football League is into the third week of its season, and there haven’t been any active players arrested yet. Alas, more ammunition for those who say the CFL isn’t real pro football.

So Edward Snowden, who originally said he would not seek asylum in Russia after Putin made no further leaks a condition, now says through a spokesman that he could accept the condition, and that he “does not intend to damage U.S. interests given that he is a patriot of his country.” Translation, Snowden’s done some research on what it would be like living in Venezuel

A popular new dish in Colombia is “pork belly tater tots.” Is this the poor man’s version of a Cardiac Stress Test?