Posted tagged ‘drone jokes’

Cold day

December 17, 2016

 

Looking at US weather this weekend makes me wish not quite so many people would have said “Hell will freeze over before Trump is elected.”

Trump tweeted China’s seizure of U.S. research drone was #unpresidented. Actually #Unpresidented is what Dems would like to make Trump

 

A video of Oklahoma Joe Mixon hitting a woman in 2014 has been released. The running back is the top rusher on the team and a projected top draft pick. But guessing Mixon won’t get the Ray Rice treatment. Because while both apologized, Joe, 20, is still heading for the top of his game, and Rice was already on the downside.

#Minnesota players ended boycott & so the team will play in #HolidayBowl. Wonder what persuasion school used? Average Dec. temp in San Diego vs Minn?

Trump tweeted China’s seizure of U.S. research drone was #unpresidented. Actually #Unpresidented is what Dems would like to make Trump

China says they will return the U.S. Navy underwater drone it captured in the South China Sea. Just as soon as they figure out how to copy it and make the drone for 1/10 the price.

 

Vanity Fair says they sold a record 13,000 subscriptions the day after Trump said the magazine was “dead” after they slammed his restaurant.
In related news, dozens of U.S. newspapers made plans to send their snarkiest reporters to review Trump Grill.

In Corpus Christi, at least 4 people are sick probably because of exposure to contaminated water But hey, who needs the EPA going forward.

RIP Henry Heimlich. Sad, but he did make it to 96. So hope his friends and family aren’t too choked up about it.

 

Among many reasons to live on West Coast is ability with social media to know in advance whether @SNL is worth staying up for..

Many Americans voted against Hillary & Jeb because they were against political dynasties. Now w/ Trump’s kids we get dynasty in real time.

 

Depending on location, journalists average $24-70,000 yearly salary. Trump & most of Cabinet are millionaires & billionaires. So who’s the  elite here?

Sequester this?

March 7, 2013

If President Obama wants bipartisan agreement maybe he could just send a drone to at least temporarily silence Nicki Minaj?

Could we declare this sequester part of the New York Yankees starting lineup?. Seems to be the best way to guarantee it will be shelved in no time.

Leaving aside our potential differences on Rand Paul’s politics, can we at least agree that the man knows the right way to do a filibuster?

This week’s blizzard, projected to be one of the most powerful of the year, has kind of turned into a big “meh.” Which means the storm could end up being renamed from “Saturn” to “Lakers.”

The Yankees’ Mark Teixeira injured his right wrist and will be out about 2 months. “That’s really a shame”, said no one outside New York.

Taco Bell is coming out with a new Cool Ranch Doritos Loco Taco, which uses a shell that is basically just a giant Cool Ranch Dorito. For all those who think the chain’s regular offerings just don’t have enough artificial flavorings and salt.

Mayor Bloomberg’s next campaign is to warn young people that listening to loud music on their iPods with earbuds could result in hearing loss. On the other hand, if kids use the earbuds in traffic, it does increase the chance of a Darwin award to remove them from the gene pool.

Rory McIlroy about leaving the course during the Honda Classic last week “I realized pretty quickly it wasn’t the right thing to do…. my tooth was bothering me, but it wasn’t bothering me enough to quit.” What? No blaming bad advice, the crowd, his medications…..

President Obama had dinner tonight with 12 GOP Senators. I wonder how many food tasters will be involved.

Rand Paul decided to have a real filibuster against President Obama’s nominee for head of the CIA. So far he’s been speaking about twelve hours….. Let’s hope Joe Biden doesn’t take this as a challenge.

Members of Congress left for early weekends today starting at 1pm, despite the much vaunted storm only bringing an inch of snow. So for the remainder of the week, sounds like as much will be accomplished in Washington as usual.

So now Jeb Bush is making noises about running for President in 2016, which means he may well face off against Hillary.. Isn’t it great we Americans don’t live in a banana republic where power is concentrated in the hands of a few families?

And all joking aside, my friend Alex B sent along this link from West Wing, “Ten Word Ansswers.”   Kind of makes you wish we could draft   Jed Bartlett for President in 2016.