Posted tagged ‘crooks are stupid jokes’

Better to be silent and thought a fool….

October 25, 2014

Oops. Broncos practice squad player John Boyett, arrested for public intoxication in Denver, told police to “contact my boss, John Elway.” Make that “former boss.” The Broncos cut him yesterday.

 

If you smoke, don’t text…. A Georgia man, apparenty running low on his supply, sent a text asking “You have some weed?” He accidentally sent the text to his probation officer….. Oops. He is now back behind bars.

 

As a Stanford grad, really hated to be rooting against a Cardinal pitcher in the World Series. (Jeremy Guthrie)  But life is a series of tough choices. ‪#‎SFGiants‬.

A home run in the 6th inning for Pablo Sandoval with 1 on and San Francisco down 1 run  might have priced the Panda out of the Giants league in 2015 as a free agent.  But would have been okay with it. #oneyearatatime

Tampa Bay manager Joe Maddon exercised his opt-out clause with the Rays, and is rumored to be going to the Cubs. Maybe now that he’s turned 60, Maddon just wants to be sure of having Octobers off.

ToysRUs removes Breaking Bad Action Figures from  stores. At least parents can still buy wholesome Mortal Kombat figures & video games. ‪#‎WTF‬?

Shocking, we’ve actually found a depth that reality TV won’t sink to….TLC has cancelled “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” because Mama June is dating a recently released convicted child molester. (Of course, there’s still time for another network to pick the show up.)

 

Hell is freezing over. I agree with ‪#‎haroldreynolds‬ . He said “The National League is a better game.” ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

So a health worker arriving from West Africa with no symptoms has been quarantined for 21 days under a new mandatory policy announced by Governors Andrew Cuomo and Chris Christie. Meanwhile, at least one student plus alleged shooter dead in at a high school near Seattle. Think there will be any changes with gun control?

So while we are freaking out about Ebola, a San Diego State student died Saturday from meningitis, which is also spread by close contact. And apparently this poor young woman was in a sorority and went to two frat parties a few days before she had symptoms…. But we aren’t quarantining Southern California, yet.

 

 

T. C.  on American tobacco company RJ Reynolds instituting a no-smoking policy at all its offices. “In related news, the manufacturer of ex-lax has removed all the restrooms from its buildings.”

A hard-bitten team?

June 24, 2014

 

This just in –  World Cup coaches have ordered players to strike “Bite Me” from their vocabularies against Uruguay.

Mike Tyson has just been named an honorary team captain for #Uruguay #WorldCup #Suarez

 

Luis Suarez says of his biting another player, for the third time, “these things happen.” Translation, if you’re playing Uruguay in the next round of the World Cup, get a rabies shot.”

Will the headline for #Italy‘s #WorldCup exit today be “The Biter End?” #Uruguay #Suarez

All this commotion over Uruguay player Luis Suarez biting an Italian player today. This would never have happened with England playing Italy. #WorldCup

 

 

President Obama visited a Chipotle restaurant today and REACHED OVER THE SNEEZE GUARD to point at what he wanted. Republicans will no doubt soon announce a congressional investigation. #impeachableoffense

After almost a year long investigation, the NTSB faults actions by the pilots in the crash of Asiana Airlines 214 in San Francisco. In another year will an investigation conclude that Malaysian is missing a plane?

That moment when you think the “Crooks are stupid” contest for the year is already over, and it’s only June: In Minnesota, a burglar apparently couldn’t resist checking his FB on the home computer of someone he was robbing. And he FORGOT TO LOG OUT. So police tracked him down from the profile. Guess he has updated his status to #Busted.

Wonder how many #Miami fans are checking #Cleveland websites for advice on the best way to burn jerseys. #TheDecision2 #Lebron

#Lebron James will opt out of his #MiamiHeat deal. Assume the #Spurs have already told him, “No Thanks.”

Gregg Popovich, on Tim Duncan’s decision to return to the Spurs for a relatively low salary. “”He feels a responsibility to his teammates.” And Kobe Bryant and Lebron James responded “A what?”

 

 

The Phillies signed OF Grady Sizemore to a minor league contract. The way Philly is playing this season, isn’t “minor league contract” redundant?

 

 

Headline – “Boehner threatens war with Obama.” As opposed to his current wonderful spirit of cooperation?

From Alex Kaseberg: “U.S. women’s soccer goal, Hope Solo, was accused of assaulting two family members. She was charged with two counts of assault and one count of impersonating an NFL player.”