Posted tagged ‘Bruins jokes’

Old dog, stupid new tricks

May 2, 2014

Who says an old man can’t have a learning experience. Donald Sterling, speaking to an interviewer about the V. Stiviano tapes: “I wish I had just paid her off.”

 

 

 

Ben Affleck has apparently been banned from playing blackjack at the Hard Rock Casino because he was “too good at the game.” Well a guy’s got to be good at something….

 

There will be 124 FBS (Division 1) college football teams in 2014. There will be 38 bowl games not counting the championship. So 76 teams will have to be chosen, and UNLV, Idaho and Penn State are ineligible….. But bank on it. some coach will whine in December that his team was overlooked.

 

My friend Darren wanted a punchline on this “49ers exercise fifth year option on Aldon Smith per league source”

Okay,  So, what’s the difference between a troubled young man and a thug?   Talent.

There were injuries but fortunately no fatalities today when a NY Subway train derailed today in Queens. New Yorkers were stunned, normally the only train wreck in May is the Mets.

Sometimes no punchline can top real life: V. Stiviano’s lawyer Siamak Nehoray, on his “devastated” client. “She’s a young girl thrown in the middle of this thing, unwillingly…” Stiviano is 31.

Here’s a serious thought on Donald Sterling. Yes, the privacy issues with the leaked tape are disturbing. But it wasn’t as if his comments seemed like an out-of-control drunken rant, or as if he had been a model citizen before. Basically Sterling has been a bad actor for years, and the NBA has just looked the other way. His taped remarks weren’t the cause of him being banned for life, they were the catalyst IMHO.

 

Bruins president Cam Neely denounced fans who attacked the Canadiens’ P.K. Subban, who is black, with racial slurs on social media after Subban scored the game winning goal for Montreal over Boston last night. In related news, Donald Sterling called the Bruins to inquired about rink-side tickets.

From T.C.  ” Ad we’d like to see:  Hey PK Subban, you just scored the winning goal of game one in double OT vs Boston – what are you going to do next? “I’m going to a LA Clippers game!!!!!”

A 16 year old Florida girl, looking for sympathy after a breakup with her boyfriend, pretended she was kidnapped and set off an Amber Alert with a several hour search. Well, that should certainly help her future dating life, as what boy doesn’t want a girl who’s bat sh*t crazy?

Stanford coach David Shaw, complaining about the SEC’s football schedule only having eight conference games, as opposed to most conferences who play nine. “If we’re all going to be in the same playoffs, we need to play by the same rules” And down in the SEC they’re just giggling

Bus to hell time.   “The NY Post is reporting that Donald Sterling has cancer. “What a shame,” said nobody.”