Posted tagged ‘AP jokes’

Ouch, eh?

May 13, 2013

Even Cubs’ fans are sending sympathy notes.

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The Toronto Maple Leafs had a 4-1 lead in the third period (out of three for non-hockey fans.)  And a two goal lead with 82 seconds to play.  And they lost in overtime.

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The Leafs absolutely put on a clinic – on how it is possible to play hockey with two hands wrapped tightly around your own neck.

choke

So the Justice Department appears to have been spying on the AP – a major player in the “lame-stream media.” Somewhere, Sarah Palin’s head is about to explode.

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From my friend Neil Berliner:   Sarah Palin: “The Justice Department should leave the AP alone. Especially my favorite AP; “Angry Birds.”

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Kim Kardashian says she has become “more of a recluse” during her pregnancy because she is preparing to protect the privacy of her baby. And no doubt she will call a press conference every week to reiterate that fact.

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Justin Blackmon, arrested for aggravated DUI in 2012, and now suspended for four games for violating NFL’s substance-abuse policy, says he doesn’t have an alcohol or substance-abuse problem. He just has a “problem making a decision.” And Lindsay Lohan chimed in “What he said.”

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The first hearings on the IRS’s alleged targeting of Tea Party groups start Friday. So how do we get Congress to move this fast on say, little things like a budget and sequestration?

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Due to a makeup game,  fans who turned on the television Monday morning could see the  Yankees playing baseball.    This only usually happened when ESPN schedules a Sunday night game against the Red Sox.

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NY Giants co-owner Steve Tisch now says that Tim Tebow “going from the Broncos to the Jets was not in anybody’s best interest” Oh, I don’t know, the deal pretty much guaranteed that however much the Giants might have disappointed in 2013, they wouldn’t be the biggest media/comedy target in New York.

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Now that’s fast action. Marco Rubio has just demanded that the IRS commissioner resign. Which Douglas H. Shulman, a Bush appointee, has done. Last year. The post has been vacant since November, 2012

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Minnesota just legalized the rights of gays to marry. Wait a minute… I thought Marcus Bachmann was already married. Oh, they mean to EACH OTHER. Never mind.