Posted tagged ‘AP jokes’

Ouch, eh?

May 13, 2013

Even Cubs’ fans are sending sympathy notes.

The Toronto Maple Leafs had a 4-1 lead in the third period (out of three for non-hockey fans.)  And a two goal lead with 82 seconds to play.  And they lost in overtime.

The Leafs absolutely put on a clinic – on how it is possible to play hockey with two hands wrapped tightly around your own neck.

choke

So the Justice Department appears to have been spying on the AP – a major player in the “lame-stream media.” Somewhere, Sarah Palin’s head is about to explode.

From my friend Neil Berliner:   Sarah Palin: “The Justice Department should leave the AP alone. Especially my favorite AP; “Angry Birds.”

Kim Kardashian says she has become “more of a recluse” during her pregnancy because she is preparing to protect the privacy of her baby. And no doubt she will call a press conference every week to reiterate that fact.

Justin Blackmon, arrested for aggravated DUI in 2012, and now suspended for four games for violating NFL’s substance-abuse policy, says he doesn’t have an alcohol or substance-abuse problem. He just has a “problem making a decision.” And Lindsay Lohan chimed in “What he said.”

The first hearings on the IRS’s alleged targeting of Tea Party groups start Friday. So how do we get Congress to move this fast on say, little things like a budget and sequestration?

Due to a makeup game,  fans who turned on the television Monday morning could see the  Yankees playing baseball.    This only usually happened when ESPN schedules a Sunday night game against the Red Sox.

NY Giants co-owner Steve Tisch now says that Tim Tebow “going from the Broncos to the Jets was not in anybody’s best interest” Oh, I don’t know, the deal pretty much guaranteed that however much the Giants might have disappointed in 2013, they wouldn’t be the biggest media/comedy target in New York.

Now that’s fast action. Marco Rubio has just demanded that the IRS commissioner resign. Which Douglas H. Shulman, a Bush appointee, has done. Last year. The post has been vacant since November, 2012

Minnesota just legalized the rights of gays to marry. Wait a minute… I thought Marcus Bachmann was already married. Oh, they mean to EACH OTHER. Never mind.