Posted tagged ‘ACA jokes’

Oh baby, baby

June 25, 2015

Bristol Palin has just announced that she’s pregnant. Again. Did she sign up for a bulk rate on that “born-again-virginity” deal?

Good news for ‪#‎BristolPalin‬, as an unemployed single-mom-of-two, she’ll still be able to get insurance with ‪#‎Obamacare‬.

#‎BristolPalin‬, on 2nd out-of-wedlock pregnancy -“trying to keep [my] chin up on this one.” Uh, keeping her chin up is not the problem. More like legs crossed.

So the Confederate flag is coming down across the country, and the Supreme Court upheld Obamacare. Is this all just a conspiracy to give Rush Limbaugh a coronary?

Judge Roberts, in his majority opinion upholding Obamacare did nonetheless chide that ACA is “inartful” and “does not reflect the type of care and deliberation that one might expect of such significant legislation.  As my friend Sarah B. said, that’s a more elegant way of saying what he really meant  –  “PROOF READ YOUR SH*T BEFORE YOU SEND IT TO VOTE FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!

Senator Obama voted against the confirmation of Justice John Roberts. Just wondering, has the President issued a private apology?

Chris Christie will announce Tuesday that he is running for President. How long until the Highway Patrol pulls the clown car off the road for being dangerously overweight?

A Mountain View, California man who lives near Google has an Airbnb listing for a Coleman tent in his backyard. For $46 a night, or $899 a month.  And apparently he’s turning down business.  In related news, local R.E.I. stores are reporting a rush on tent sales.

R.I.P. Patrick Macnee, 93. He will forever be known, as “”that guy who was on the Avengers with the fabulous Diana Rigg.”

As if we needed more proof that Duke’ Coach K is one of the smartest college coaches ever. Krzyzewski told ESPN that he follows “a lot of people on Twitter. under an alias. I tell my guys, ‘I’m following you.’ Then if I see something, you text them, you gotta watch…”

Down in Tallahassee, freshman QB De’Andre Johnson has been suspended indefinitely from the football team for allegedly punching a female FSU student at a bar Wed. night when she cut in front of him while ordering drinks. “Indefinitely” meaning Coach Fisher will wait to see how Johnson does in practice before deciding whether to give him another chance?

San Antonio Spurs continue the tradition of picking players who most Americans have never heard of, with names they can’t spell, from places they can’t find on the a map. And he’ll probably be a star. ‪#‎NikolaMilutinov‬

(and follow the pick with a guy from Haiti.)

From Bill Littlejohn  “Report—there are 40 quarterbacks in the NFL that will make more than Russell Wilson this year.Not only that, but 5 QB’s in the SEC, as well.”

What’s too painful to remember…

November 13, 2013

#2 Michigan State knocked off #1 Kentucky, 78-74 in men’s college basketball tonight. For those Wildcat freshmen, this could be the  most painful memory of the whole six months they spend in college.

There’s a SF Bay Area controversy over an idiot radio talk show host named Damon Bruce who said that women don’t belong in sports. He’s back at work after a one-day suspension. Wonder how long he’d have been out if he went after an ethnic group instead of an entire gender?

A Kansas woman apparently is trying to trade her wedding ring for tickets to the Chiefs home game against the Broncos Dec 1. Wonder if she’ll offer her husband for playoff tickets?

A man arrested earlier this month for a DUI in Michigan blamed the fact that he had drunk so much on the Wolverines’ loss the day before. If that excuse had worked police would never be able to get a DUI conviction during baseball season in Chicago.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has been on Dallas talk radio complaining about the play calling and defensive coverage in Sunday night’s loss to the Saints. And yeah, maybe if Jason Garrett had coached a different game, Dallas might have only lost by 3-4 touchdowns.

Although wholesale coffee prices have fallen by almost a third in the past year, Starbucks and other coffee shops haven’t reduced prices. Well, guess that was about as likely as airlines reducing fuel surcharges when gas prices drop..

Crooks are stupid item of the day: Four burglary suspects in Northern California were arrested after police saw a photo on Instagram of $120 worth of food they had purchased at Carl’s Jr with a stolen credit card.

Sarah Palin is branching out, now she says of the new pope “He’s had some statements that to me sound kind of liberal, has taken me aback, has kind of surprised…” What’s next, Sarah can see the Vatican from her house?

One of the frequently heard complaints about the ACA, is people, especially men, saying things like they don’t want to pay for insurance that covers things like maternity. Although by that token, why should women pay for insurance that covers things like ED and prostate care?

 

A friend wonders why Facebook suggests that because she “likes” Wendy Davis, she would also “like” Rick Perry. Maybe FB assumes that she too is a comedy writer…

 

Bill Clinton today on Obamacare and cancelled plans “I personally believe, even if it takes a change in the law, the president should honor the commitment the federal government made to those people and let them keep what they’ve got.” Brave words from a ex-President who himself did such a great job with healthcare reform.

During the trial of Costa Concordia captain Francesco Schettino, A crew member testified that the captain did not “fall” into the lifeboat as he said, but rather “jumped into the lifeboat.” “I’m shocked,” said absolutely no one.

The DOJ has finally decided to allow the American Airlines – US Airways merger. Well, it’s another chance to see if two wrongs CAN make a right.

American Airlines and US Airways have finally gotten approval for their merger. Now, time to start a pool on when they will announce an aircraft repainting fee?

The Braves are leaving for a new suburban stadium in 2017, and today Atlanta’s mayor said that the city will then demolish Turner Field. The stadium, built for the Olympics, is less than 20 years old. Are we sure there isn’t a way to give it to the Oakland As?

 

From Marc Ragovin:  “The Atlanta Braves have announced that they will be moving to a new stadium in a few years. Team officials say the new site will be much more convenient for fans not to go to come playoff time.”