Left Coast Sports Babe

As we inch closer to the playoffs starting April 13, casual fans can rejoice in the NBA’s preseason FINALLY being almost over.

According to ESPN, Cal State Northridge coach Mark Gottfried is “the first head coach directly connected to impermissible payments to players”, from his days at NC State.
Meanwhile at top 25 programs – nothing to see here, move along.

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After LSU basketball coach Will Wade was recorded talking about a “strong-ass” offer for a recruit, LSU has suspended their men’s basketball coach “indefinitely.”
Over-under on how long before Wade resigns to spend time with his family before eventually taking an NBA job?

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Former All-Star pitcher Esteban Loaiza was sentenced to three years in prison for cocaine possession Friday.  If he’d only done something less heinous, like trying to defraud the US government out of millions.

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Some of  Michael Jackson’s biggest fans are still insisting the pop mega-star did nothing wrong. Have to wonder, if Michael were still alive, would he be performing at the White House.

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Friday Donald Trump and Michael called each other liars on Twitter. Uh, the difference is that Cohen has admitted it.

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So is Cindy Yi Lang, owner of several day spas, including Orchids of Asia, where Robert Kraft was arrested,  the one who told Trump about duct taping immigrant women?

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Important side note, Trump scheduled his visit to Alabama TODAY for one reason only. It was sort of on the way to Florida so he could head straight down for another taxpayer funded golf weekend.

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To be fair, as much criticism as Donald Trump got for autographing bibles in Alabama while viewing tornado damage, at least someone must have talked him out of charging for the autographs.

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So if he really cared about Puerto Rico, why didn’t Donald Trump autograph those paper towels he threw?

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To be fair, as much criticism as Donald Trump got for autographing bibles in Alabama while viewing tornado damage, at least someone must have talked him out of charging for the autographs.

Lakers announced they will put LeBron James on a minutes restriction and have him sit one of back-to-backs. They didn’t say if they will also be giving out commemorative tanks.

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Steve Kerr says that with only 9 home games left in regular season at Oracle Arena, he hopes team can play better for fans than they have lately. Though actually with prices Warriors are charging at new Chase Arena,  wonder if THOSE are the fans likely to turn into serious boo-birds with efforts like the team’s against Celtics?

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About 100 of 450 NBA players are foreign born. Including Bucks star and probable MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo. Guessing whatever team wins this year, they’re not going to the White House.

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FBI apparently has LSU basketball coach Will Wade recorded allegedly talking about a “hell of an offer” to a top recruit.
Tigers are ranked #10 in country. So how badly will NCAA slap Wade’s hand?

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Tom Seaver, 74, has dementia and will retire from public life. 2019 so far kind of sucks. #MiracleMets

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As we get closer to Easter, is it time to pull the Marshmallow Peeps out of storage?

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All the headlines saying “Manafort sentenced to nearly four years in prison in bank fraud case.’ Let me fix it ‘Manafort sentenced to 15 years LESS than the sentencing guidelines were for his bank fraud conviction.”

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Sherrod Brown is not running for President. Sad in many ways as I think he’s very electable. But as a good friend points out…. there might not be anyone else in Ohio who could keep his Senate seat blue.

Red Sox pitcher Steven Wright suspended 80 games for PED’s. Wright is a knuckleballer. So did he take PEDs to increase his pitch speed from 60 to 70 mph?

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Any given weekday?  Less than 24 hours after beating the Golden State Warriors on their home court at Oracle by 33, the Boston Celtics needed a bucket by Gordon Hayward with 2 seconds left to beat the Sacramento Kings?

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After the Bears were knocked out of playoffs by a missed kick that did a double doink off the uprights and crossbars,  Chicago has signed a potential new placekicker.- His name? Chris Blewitt.

Some items don’t even need a punch line.

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As a San Antonio Spurs fan glad they won tonight to help keep their currently 21 year  playoff streak potentially alive. But “beloved” referee Scott Foster, former friend of Tim Donaghy, threw Atlanta Hawks Taurean Prince late out in 3rd with 2 straight technicals – the first for saying something & the 2nd for saying something else in response to the technical fouls. Because of course everyone tunes in to NBA games to watch refs?

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There are people alive with gray hair who don’t remember Jeopardy before Alex Trebek.

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A Stanford admissions officer is in jail accused of attempted murder for allegedly stabbing his girlfriend while on LSD. Wonder how many parents are calling the university, worried this might affect THEIR child’s application.

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What’s worse, that Trump threatened an academy about releasing his high school grades? Or that Trump is small enough to think anyone CARES about high school grades? #PresidentSnowflake

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GM closing Lordstown plant today, the 1st of 4 US plants they will close, with 1435 hourly workers laid off and only 417 able to transfer. I missed the Trump tweet taking credit.

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At White House today Trump called Tim Cook “Tim Apple.” Personally, I don’t care if he wrongly calls someone by a fake name. I care when he wrongly calls the border situation a fake “National Emergency.”

Bryce Harper is lobbying publicly for Mike Trout to join him in Philly.   Because in the first days of a honeymoon everyone KNOWS their best friends should marry into their new family?

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First Larry Baer incident, now SF Giants OF Cameron Maybin apparently was arrested early last Friday am in Scottsdale for alleged DUI.
Maybe Giants are trying just a BIT too hard to compete with the 49ers?

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Brad Stevens still looks like he’s 12 years old. #Celtics

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Mets have hired Jessica Mendoza as a front office advisor.  Mendoza, a former Stanford star softball player, will continue her Sunday Night Baseball duties.  How often do I say this “Well-played Mets!”?

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Kylie Jenner, 21, was just declared the youngest self-made billionaire, beating out Mark Zuckerberg.
Amazing job of overcoming hardships. So I guess she’s ahead of Prince William and Harry too?

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Judge Amy Berman Jackson is upset with Roger Stone over his new book etc and has set “a strict deadline” for him to explain how he hasn’t again violated her gag order. So is this part of the court’s “7 strikes and you’re out” policy?

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Happy Fat Tuesday.
Hmm… would be inappropriate for this to remind me that Donald Trump really seems to want a holiday named after him.

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As GOP and Trump scream harassment and waste with Mueller investigation your reminder that Ken Starr spent six years and $70 million to discover Bill Clinton was lying about a blowjob.

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Now former White House lawyer Ty Cobb, who resigned last May, says “Bob Mueller is an American hero,” and “I don’t think it’s a witch hunt.”
So how long until Trump claims he fired Cobb too?

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Just as a challenge for fans of @realDonaldTrump, is there anyone who has ever worked for him and criticized him afterwards that he doesn’t trash?
#PresidentSnowflake

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As Trump tweets PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT! let me fix it for him.
Drop the H,A,R,M,E,N,T of the second word.

Mark Cuban, owner of Dallas Mavericks and known for “Shark Tank”, says again he might run for President but “It really would take the exact right set of circumstances”
Another billionaire reality-star? How about the circumstances being “hell freezes over.”

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On opening day SF Giants will pay tribute to former CEO Peter Magowan, who passed away earlier this year. But in his honor did current CEO Larry Baer have to try to commit career suicide? #BusToHell

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Forget making the playoffs, at this point  LeBron James and Lakers may have to struggle to finish ahead of the …. Pelicans?!!!.

(Almost as if Los Angeles is getting some karmic payback from New Orleans.)

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At the White House Trump Monday served North Dakota State FCS football champion team Big Macs from McDonald’s and Chick-fil-A. So is this really a ploy for him to stockpile a secret supply of fast-food?

But seriously, has anyone told Donald that teams full of players who eat nothing but cheap fast food aren’t the teams who’ll be bringing championship trophies to the White House?

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Former acting AG Matthew Whitaker abruptly left Justice Department this weekend. So was there a bullet he wouldn’t take for Trump. Or has he been offered a job at Fox News?

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Since Trump is ordering an “A+” response from FEMA for Alabama, would he care to tell us what grade response he ordered for Puerto Rico and California?

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So has Trump announced when he is heading down to Alabama to throw beautiful paper towels?

Today’s Trump fundraising email.  (somehow I got added to the list with my work email…)
“My team handed me a list of all patriots who entered to have breakfast with me and I noticed your name was MISSING.
With my extremely busy schedule, I normally don’t even have time for breakfast. But, when my team told me that one lucky American Patriot would be there, I knew I had to make the time.”

Okay, forget lies about money and Russia and porn stars, does anyone seriously believe Trump has missed a meal in his life?

Lebron James went to  Los Angeles Lakers in part to jump-start his career in Hollywood. Well, in 2019 looks like he’ll be free to work on movies starting in April.

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Celtics co-owner Wyc Grousbeck said Boston just finished the “worst February” he can remember as the team went 5-6.
And Knicks fans are thinking “For 5-6 we’d throw a parade.”

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With more than a month left in NBA season, Phoenix Suns have officially been eliminated from playoffs. What’s more shocking? The Knicks haven’t.

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Who says I never praise Republicans? Louisiana Sen Kennedy at Gridiron dinner -“Crime’s so bad we had a Super Bowl stolen from us.” And about Super Bowl – “If I’d wanted to watch guys failing to score for 4 hrs, I’d have taken Ted Cruz & Bernie Sanders to a singles bar.

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Nice line from Amy Klobuchar at the same dinner saying she has an advantage as a Minnesotan running for president: “The Russians won’t try to meet with me because Minneapolis is even too cold for them.”

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Jim Jordan referred Michael Cohen to the Justice Department for alleged perjury.
I have an idea. How about “Gym” Jordan and Cohen both take a polygraph test with questions about things they saw and heard in their past employments?

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If someone asked Trump today about Selma he’d probably answer “Don’t remember the woman. She’s lying. And she wouldn’t have been my first choice.”

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Trump spent most of the evening ranting on twitter while many Americans died in Alabama and Georgia.   He finally did acknowledge the disaster….maybe he’d have done it sooner if someone told him tornadoes could be stopped by a wall..?

Trump said he walked away from the North Korea summit in Vietnam because Kim Jong Un wanted complete sanctions relief. Tonight he blamed Democrats and claimed Cohen hearings “may have contributed to the ‘walk.”
What, did hearing his ex-lawyer cause a flare-up of Donald’s bone spurs?

Yeah, in slight sour grapes mode, but this from Bryce Harper is well-played indeed. Explaining why he is going to wear No 3. with Phillies – “I wore No. 34. But I thought Roy Halladay should be the last to wear it.”

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Then in Harper’s first press conference he said he wanted to “bring a title back to DC.”    As my friend Alex Kaseberg said “When asked about the location mistake, Harper said, “Geometry was never my strong suit.”

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Lebron James is one of GOATs. But about now he might be thinking instead of his one-person Lakers team-building dream, he’d be happier and better off with GOAT coach he respects in San Antonio, Gregg Popovich?

Geir Helgemo, ranked as #1 bridge player in the world, was just stripped of his titles, points and medals from the 2018 World Bridge Series after testing positive for clomifene, a female fertility drug and synthetic testosterone. It’s enough to make you long for the purity of pro wrestling.

Howard Schultz’s platform basically seems to be maligning both Democrats and Republicans. As a Democrat, I acknowledge our party isn’t perfect. But being President is a constant series of hard choices. How can you make those choices when you can’t even pick a side?

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Michelle Malkin at CPAC, attacking “the ghost of John McCain,” over immigration. If any ghosts are listening, some serious haunted dreams are in order.

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Trump today “Our laws are so crazy. But one by one we’re finding ways. You know they call them loopholes, a lot of our laws are loopholes. Well, I’m trying to get loopholes to get around the loopholes…”
In other words “Technically I AM a crook, but I’m proud of it.”

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Mick Mulvaney Saturday at CPAC: “The president really is a master negotiator.”
Oops, instead of “negotiator” I think Mick meant “bater.”

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Some conservatives point to a strict reading of the Constitution as defense of gun rights. So why aren’t they concerned with the Emoluments Clause, which isn’t even an amendment? #TrumpScotland #TrumpGolfCourse

“Trump at CPAC on Gavin Newson “he called me up the other day, let’s say 4 weeks ago or so…said “I just want to tell you, you’re a great president and you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met.”

Uh, would Gavin like to tell us what he REALLY said?”

Okay, it’s Spring Training. But Jon Miller and Mike Krukow called a televised Giants game. SF won, Madbum pitched well, Chris Shaw hit a monster home run, and Joey Bart got a chance to catch. All is better with the world.

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But  what a difference a day makes. Guessing about now SF Giants would prefer reporters only ask them about not signing Bryce Harper. #LarryBaer

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Though yeah,  I’m on the bus to hell for this. But yesterday SF Giants were afraid their number one problem in 2019 would be not enough hitting.

Anyone besides me thinking these days of their favorite athletes but also thinking “Dear Gawd I hope I never hear about them involved in anything close to sexual assault of domestic violence?

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Apparently a private message leaked publicly on Instagram has Bryce Harper trying to recruit Le’Veon Bell to play for the Eagles in Philadelphia, the “greatest city in the world”
Uh, if it’s the greatest city in the world, why did it take Harper so long to make up his mind?

Chicago Bulls – Atlanta Hawks final score tonight  168-161 – Guess at least tired announcers didn’t have to pick a “defensive player of the game.”

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Not that I care about any of them but I do miss the days when the biggest uproar on social media would have involved Tristian Thompson cheating on Khloe Kardashian with Jordyn Woods.

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In the last 48 hours, retailers have announced plans to close 300 mall stores.
Millennials are going “What’s a mall store?”

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How many people applauding Mike Pence this week talking about “freedom over socialism” at CPAC receive Social Security or Medicare?

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Does anyone think Trump wouldn’t have fired Kushner by now if he weren’t Ivanka’s husband?
Does anyone think Trump would have hired him in the first place if he weren’t Ivanka’s husband?

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Trump called Kim Jong Un “mercurial.”. Two questions. Who taught Donald that word? And does anyone think he has any idea what it means?

In the “how low can you go department,” this is Trump after being criticized for saying he believed Kim Jong Un about Otto Warmbier
‘Remember, I got Otto out along with three others. The previous Administration did nothing, and he was taken on their watch.’