Archive for January 4, 2017

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Fresh start?

January 4, 2017

Fox Sports reports that Chip Kelly, fired by SF 49ers Sunday, he wants to remain in professional football. So Chip is open to joining a team in the SEC?

 

Odell Beckham Jr. loves to complain about being singled out by officials. Well, I’m sure all those pictures of him and teammates on a party boat with apparent drugs all around,  and some of them apparently smoking joints, won’t prejudice anyone against him in this weekend’s playoffs.

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OBJ recently said that “even Steve Wonder could have seen”  the missed calls.  Uh, even Stevie Wonder could have seen that posting pictures of the party was a bad idea.

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Duke’s Grayson Allen started tonight after his “indefinite” suspension became one game. Well, if he were a college football star it might have been 1 quarter.

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Rob Schneider just tweeted “I will put together a consortium of buyers. Please sell me the 49ers,”
So does Schneider hope to make the 49ers great again, or is he planning to use them for a long-running comedy series?

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Macy’s is closing 68 stores and cutting 10,000 jobs. #IblameTrump

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Police say a man in a town outside Frankfurt opened his front door Monday night and found that someone had built a brick wall in his doorway overnight. The wall had to be torn down for him to get out.
Wonder if the guy spent Sunday drinking Amontillado.

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Whole Foods has a coupon in local paper for $5 off $20 in produce. That’s probably enough of a discount to get a whole extra apple.

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Wonder what will happen when #Assange & #Wikileaks go after Trump administration: “It’s my nature.” #Scorpionandthefrog

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Now Pence says “1st order of business is to repeal & replace #Obamacare. Replace w/ what? That great healthcare plan GOP had before Obama?

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Now @realDonaldTrump picked Wall Street lawyer for head of SEC. Yet another big new alligator who will need to find room in the swamp.

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Haven’t heard GOP saying it’s an outrage that Charles Manson is entitled to healthcare while law-abiding Americans are not. Because they don’t believe the latter?

 

“We have two choices: some guy living in an embassy on the run from the law…who has a history of undermining American democracy and releasing classified information to put our troops at risk, or the 17 intelligence agencies sworn to defend us. I’m going with them.”
Quote from that noted commie-pinko liberal Lindsey Graham.

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Clowning around

January 4, 2017

 

Someone changed name of #Browns training facility on Google Maps to “Cleveland Clowns.” Prompting demands for an apology, from real clowns

 

But okay friends and readers, since someone went on Google Maps to put the name “Cleveland Clowns” on the Browns training facility, surely bright minds in California can come up with a equally creative map “fix” for the San Francisco 49ers corporate offices.

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In a Thai National Park a French tourist who spotted a crocodile reportedly ignored warning signs and went off the trail to take a selfie with it. She is recovering in a local hospital with a leg bite. Another Darwin “missed it by THAT much.”

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Last Sunday, a baggage handler for United Express ended up flying from Charlotte to Washington-Dulles accidentally locked inside the plane’s cargo hold,
Well, guess we know the answer to the question -what’s the next low fare option for United after “basic economy” fares?

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Brent Musberger last night on Joe Mixon, who was seen on video hitting a woman and fracturing her face “He’s just one of the best, and let’s hope, given a second chance by Bob Stoops and Oklahoma, let’s hope this young man makes the most of his chance and goes on to have a career in the National Football League,”

Actually makes you long for the days when Brent was just ogling the Alabama QB’s girlfriend..

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ESPN reports that a 32-year-old Starbucks barista won more than $900,000 in the Westgate Las Vegas SuperContest, the world’s most prestigious football handicapping contest.
Shouldn’t that report say “a FORMER Starbucks barista?”

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Starbucks barista won over $900,000 in Westgate Las Vegas football handicapping SuperContest. Now he can at least afford his own coffee.

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Last week McDonald’s opened a new location on the ground floor of a building owned by the Vatican, around the corner from St. Peters. Perfect for those who want to cheat on their diets and confess at the same time?

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In Roane County, WV, a man who was just elected sheriff in November was arrested on his 3rd day on the job, allegedly for stealing meth from the evidence locker. West Virginia?! Time to catch up, Florida.

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Three months after the robbery in Paris, Kim Kardashian West has officially returned to social media with a post on Instagram #Ourlongnationalnightmareisover #sarcasm

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Megyn Kelly announced she is leaving Fox News. So congrats to all those who had January 3 in the pool.

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House Republicans this morning dropped their plan from last night to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics. Who’s in on the pool with me as to when they reintroduce it?

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The National Enquirer headline in checkout aisle touts “proof” that Obama was born in Kenya, and says “Trump already bringing dignity back to the White House.”
Standby for Trump tweeting that the Enquirer should be the US paper of record.

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Julian Assange denied again that the Russian government was the source of Wikileaks’ hacked emails from the DNC and John Podesta. And why should we doubt the man who denounced censorship on the Kremlin’s “Russia Today” channel?

 

from Bill Littlejohn: “The Golf Channel honored Tiger Woods on his birthday Friday by airing a 15-hour marathon that chronicled his major championship highlights from the 1997 Masters to the 2008 U.S. Open, plus features on his life. In that case, shouldn’t there have been a couple of episodes from ‘Law and Order SVU’ thrown in?” . . .

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