Archive for March 31, 2016

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With friends like these….

March 31, 2016

As the D’Angelo Russell videotape story grows, Lakers fans have to be thinking nostalgically back to the days when their team was just embarrassing ON the court.

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The NCAA is apologizing for a “clerical error” which resulted in an “errant text” sent to South Carolina saying that they were had been selected for the men’s basketball tournament. No word on if such a text went to any other teams who didn’t really get in, like the Philadelphia 76ers.

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The Red Sox have announced that Travis Shaw will start Opening Day at third base over Pablo Sandoval. The Panda’s response “It’s going to be difficult, but I have to be happy. [Shaw] has had a fantastic spring. I’ll just focus on working hard.”
Uh, if Sandoval had been focused on working hard, he’d probably be starting.

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Mattel has apparently lost over $3 million that they wired in response to a fake email from China. Hmm. Wonder if it’s too late for the company to put the brakes on “Nigerian Princess Barbie?”

 

In Alabama, a husband and wife who both teach at the same private school were both arrested for having sex with students. Of course, being Alabama have to wonder how many people are going

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Sarah Palin says her husband Todd is back home “on the couch” recovering from his snowmobile accident injuries. So is he helping her keep an eye on Russia?

 

So apparently Bachelor Ben and his fiancee Lauren are having issues. Ah for those more innocent days when train wrecks on reality TV would only result in broken hearts rather than potential leaders of the free world.

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John Kasich today in a New York press conference listed “five things that continue to prove that Donald Trump is clearly not prepared to be President of the United States, commander in chief, leader of the free world.”
One of the easiest jobs in the world this fall, on the other hand, might be doing commercials for the Democratic Presidential nominee ‪#‎workisbeingdoneforyou‬

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Some days you wonder whether Donald Trump really wants to say “Just kidding, folks, I don’t want to be President.” On the subject of Muslims , he mentioned he had Muslim friends “”In most cases, they’re very rich Muslims, OK?” Then when Chris Matthews asked about them entering the U.S. “They’ll come in. And you’ll have exceptions.”
Right, because there’s no way ISIL could make a terrorist look rich?

(and my friend Tom Dodd points out that Osama Bin Laden came from a wealthy family.)

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Another day, another random mass shooting in America. Think I’ve got this down: If the dead suspect is Muslim it’s terrorism, if he’s Christian, especially if he’s white, it’s mental illness.

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Today’s first  installment in “How low can you go” – aka the GOP Primary: Ted Cruz on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” about Trump “I were in my car and getting ready to reverse and saw Donald in the backup camera, I’m not confident which pedal I would push.”

 And the second from the GOP campaign ‪#‎howlowcanyougo‬, “Mr. Lovable,” Ted Cruz is having his campaign question John Kasich’s 500 signatures submitted to qualify for the Montana ballot., Yes, 500, and apparently Kasich submitted 622….

 

 

Ted Cruz won a court case in Pennsylvania challenging his US citizenship. Maybe because Canada now disowns him?

Categories: GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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Those were the days.

March 31, 2016

Remember the good old days when people thought California was nuts because we elected someone as flamboyant and inexperienced as Arnold Schwarzenegger? ‪#‎quaint‬

 

Some don’t want to vote for Hillary because they say she is a liar. But then they say they’ll vote for Trump despite the crazy things he says because he doesn’t really mean them. ‪#‎WTF‬?

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But okay,  at a town hall today, Donald Trump, who has been saying abortions should be outlawed, and now he added women who have abortions should face “some form of punishment.”
Okay, Bernie and Hillary fans, still thinking of not voting for a Democrat if your candidate doesn’t win?

 

Donald Trump has said and then walked back his first comments that a person having an abortion should be punished.  He’s now saying those performing abortions “would be held legally responsible.”
Did Trump just remember that women are allowed to vote?

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Ted Cruz is apparently leading the GOP polls in Wisconsin. Amazing for someone who even the Senator from neighboring Minnesota would say about “You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it…. no, people DON’T like you.”

 

So now Trump says it’s not the woman having the abortion who would be punished, but the person performing the abortion? Uh, so the doctor, or the pharmacist prescribing the morning-after pill, a nurse who might give a woman the pill? All of them? ‪#‎secondversesameasthefirstlittlebitlouderandalittlebitworse‬

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A New Orleans voodoo priest, known as Zaar, says he believes ” , that the NBA Pelicans “are jinxed, for lack of a better word. I think there’s a negative energy that keeps surrounding them.”
Hmm, might this be an explanation for what’s been happening to the 49ers since they beat the Saints in the 2012 playoffs?

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Apparently Lakers rookie D’Angelo Russell secretly recorded a conversation between teammate Nick Young and himself, talking about women Young had sex with who weren’t his fiancee. And now the video has gone viral. And just think, some Lakers fans asked after that 48 point loss to the Jazz, “Can it get any worse?

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A recent poll said that even 34% of DEMOCRATS want to ban Muslims from entering the country. Wonder how many of those kind people are of Italian, German, or Asian descent?

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Donald Trump campaigning in Wisconsin says “we’re going to win so much we’re sick of it.” Got news for him, most of us are already sick of it.

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Amazing, United has fares from SF to Chicago for about $118. And then adding “economy plus” seating adds $143. $169 for exit row. Uh, maybe people just need to start buying two seats?

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