Archive for February 12, 2014

Nothing can go wrong, wrong, wrong….

February 12, 2014

Not the Onion: Thousands of prospective freshmen got an erroneous email this week telling them they had been admitted, and the college had to quickly send an apology email telling them of the mistake. Yeah, technology can be a b*tch. Especially for a school like…. MIT.

Not saying the USA has had an overall lousy Wednesday in Sochi, but except for women’s halfpipe, NBC in their quest to show American medals had to be thinking about giving  updates from the Westminster dog show.

As the halfpipe becomes increasingly complicated and trendy sport, what’s next? Someone doing a trick on the board while texting at the same time?

 

In Kentucky at the National Corvette Museum, eight Corvettes fell into a sinkhole. “That’s kind of a shame”, thought millions of American women. “Are you kidding, it’s a TRAGEDY”, thought millions of American men.

 

Sixteen people were stuck for over three hours on the “Cheetah Hunt” roller coaster at Busch Gardens in Tampa after the coaster stopped functioning. If only they had been armed.

Former New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin has been convicted on 20 of 21 counts of conspiracy and bribery. Well, he did violate Louisiana’s 11th commandment -“Thou shalt not be stupid enough to get caught.”

Derek Jeter just announced 2014 will be his last year playing professional baseball. Does that mean after the season Jeter will ask for a trade to the Mets?

In Jay Leno’s 22 years on the Tonight Show, he taped 4610 shows. More than Johnny Carson who taped 4531 shows in 22 years. So we weren’t imagining it when we thought Johnny took a lot of vacations.

 

 

What East Coast bias? All it took was a massive snowstorm postponing the Duke-NC men’s basketball game for ESPN to show Stanford-Washington on TV.

 

Madame Tussaud’s has removed their New York Justin Bieber figure because too many young fans were touching and groping the statue. The museum said “Hopefully we can welcome a new ‘grown-up’ Justin back to the attraction in the near future.” Uh, forget the museum, how about welcoming a new “grown up” Justin to the real world.

Obamacare has beaten their monthly health insurance enrollment target for the first time, with more than 1.14 million people signed up in January. Time for the GOP to focus on gay marriage and marijuana laws again.

Who’s not looking at you, kid?

February 12, 2014

More on the showering with a gay teammate issue. What is it about some straight men that makes them think all gay men would find them attractive? I suppose the same thing that makes some men think all women find them attractive.

New Orleans Saints LB Jonathan Vilma, who originally made what seemed like homophobic comments about showering with a gay teammate, now has given a long convoluted apology. Translation – someone probably got a call from pro-gay rights QB – and team captain – Drew Brees.

Shirley Temple has passed away. And millions of younger Americans wonder why her parents named her after a drink.

So at least for now we lose the only real live drama of NBC’s primetime Olympics show – Just how much weirder looking could poor Bob Costas get with his pink eye infection? Costa sat out at least Tuesday’s coverage.

NBC every night what they perceive to be the best for last with their primetime 8-11pm Olympic coverage. Which means that folks in the generation least likely to have seen the results online have probably been in bed for hours.

Tuesday silver lining?   Americans can stop pretending to care about halfpipe.

A “historic ice storm” is supposed to hit Atlanta and potentially leave many without power for days. So where are all those fire and brimstone types who like to blame natural disasters on God’s wrath when those disasters happen to Red states?

Hundreds of flights are being cancelled this week in Charlotte, Dallas and Atlanta due to the latest storm. Looks like if the NFL decides to avoid cold weather cities for future Super Bowls they’re going to have to expand the blacklist.

If NBC broadcast the Super Bowl guess we would have seen brief tape-delayed highlights of the game between 8p-11p, sandwiched between commercials and human interest stories about Peyton Manning and Richard Sherman?

Mark Adams, IOC spokesman, regarding complaints about the halfpipe, which some athletes called “sand and mush.” “There is no problem at all with the halfpipe itself, it is just that these are dynamic living fields of play.” “Dynamic living fields of play?” And officials at Candlestick Park are going “Why didn’t we think of that?”

Well, at least some in the GOP are consistent. Florida Governor Rick Scott, asked directly if he supported an increase in the minimum wage. “If the President really cared about people making minimum wage he’d repeal Obamacare.”

An explosion at a Pakistan porn movie theater killed 11 and injured 30. No word on how many of the men hospitalized will survive their wives finding out where they were.

28 Republicans joined with Democrats in the House to pass a clean debt-limit bill today. I blame Obama.

Georgia Governor Nathan Deal suggests that if power goes out throughout the state, residents should “read a book.” And Georgians under 25 responded “What’s a book?

Closing this blog on a sad note.  Just heard of the passing of Keith Hillyard suddenly of a heart attack on January 21.  I never met Keith, he was a retired DJ in New Mexico, but he liked my jokes and read my blog regularly. . And a few times a year he’d add a comment, often something funny.

On January 20, he sent me the following.  “With teams from Colorado and Washington in the Super Bowl, apparently they’re resurrecting the “Weed Eater” Bowl.”

Keith was only 63, and apparently a serious Denver Broncos fan.  At  least he lived before having to watch this year’s game..