Guilty, guilty, guilty.

Jerry Sandusky will probably be assigned to the geriatric unit of a minimum security prison. We can only hope it’s not solitary confinement.

Jerry Sandusky’s lawyer told reporters today he would be shocked and “die of a heart attack” if the ex-coach were acquitted on all counts. Heck, after hearing the testimony, he’s probably shocked Sandusky even got bail.

You can’t make this stuff up, Friday edition: A 46 yr. old mom was sentenced to probation, parenting classes and banned from Nordstrom’s for leaving her 11 wk old twins in the car while she returned purchases. The part you can’t make up, her job is program director at the Bay Area Surrogacy Program, providing professional advice to new parents.

Well, at least the Jerry Sandusky verdict got Lebron and the Heat off the sports front page.

And for that matter,  “poor” Rielle Hunter.   The Sandusky verdict Friday night made it a bad weekend for to be a media whore on a book tour.

Rielle Hunter is saying she has no regrets about her affair with John Edwards. Duh. The woman is so publicity and money hungry, she’s been made an honorary Kardashian.

 

Charlie Sheen, who is returning to television in FX’s new “Anger Management,” says It’s “I’m done playing a drunken, womanizing, immature character. This time I’m playing an adult.” But enough about his life, what’s the show about?

Mary Cheney married her longtime partner Heather Poe today. Fox News is trying to figure out how to blame this on Obama.

The Heat partied until 6am at the Fountainebleau Hotel after their championship win last night. No wonder Miami was so set on winning at home. Only place open until 600a in Oklahoma City probably is an IHOP.

Some are saying that this year’s NBA finals mark the beginning of a long rivalry between the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Miami Heat. Meanwhile in Seattle and Cleveland they’re joining together for the NBA version of the “First Wives Club.”

 

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5 Comments on “Guilty, guilty, guilty.”

  1. tc Says:

    NY Mets closer Frank Francisco called his cross town rival Yankees chickens. He wants to strike out the side when they meet next. Yanks say no way, we’ll fowl out before that happens. Francisco’s delivery is certainly not poultry in motion.

    The only Yankee so far to take this seriously is Nick Swisher. He said the Mets reliever should go cluck himself. Swisher wants us to know he began his career in BC, Single A. At no time in his career has he played for the Rhode Island Reds.

    Francisco better hope he doesn’t lay an egg in his next appearance.


  2. Good ones TC, what a birdbrain.

  3. maaj Says:

    “I want to congratulate Mary Cheney on her wedding that I think should be illegal.”~Mitt Romney

  4. marc ragovin Says:

    Its gotten so bad for the Florida Marlins, who have now lost 15 of their last 17 games, that today Fidel Castro expressed amazement that Ozzie Guillen was still in power

  5. Gary M. Says:

    Sandusky is hoping to be assigned to a minimum security seminary.
    _____
    Congrats to Mary Cheney & Heather Poe. Wonder if they’ll name their first son after Mary’s dad, Edgar Allan?
    _____
    As my relatives in Oklahoma will attest, there are many joints that are open all night, and all of them begin with the letter, “7.”
    _____
    “You can’t make this stuff up, Friday edition: A 46 yr. old mom was sentenced to probation, parenting classes and banned from Nordstrom’s for leaving her 11 wk old twins in the car while she returned purchases. The part you can’t make up, her job is program director at the Bay Area Surrogacy Program, providing professional advice to new parents.”

    Her special field of instruction: drive-thru parenting.


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