Left Coast Sports Babe

A lesson from the Roger Clemens trial, if you are going to take something illegal, make sure your supplier is sleazy enough that no matter how tarnished your reputation gets, you still stay more credible than him.

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In a jailhouse phone call, George Zimmerman urged his wife to buy a bulletproof vest. Shame no one told Trayvon Martin to get one too.

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The REALLY rich are really different. Witness Ann Romney’s dressage horse Rafalca, now going to the Olympics. And somehow the Romney’s claimed a $77,000 tax deduction in 2010 for their share of the horse’s care and feeding. No joke.

(I’m trying to figure out how to write off my cats.)

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A  recent NY Times/CBS News poll found that 75 % Americans believe Supreme Court justices have their decisions influenced by their political beliefs. Shocking. That means 25% actually think they don’t.

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Rielle Hunter now claims she wrote a tell-all book about her relationship with John Edwards just because their daughter Frances should have “have one entirely truthful public account of how she came into the world.”  Or at least enough money for years of therapy.

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Sounds like Rielle’s book will if anything make John Edwards look even worse than he does now.  Somewhere Elizabeth has to be smirking.

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You think you had a bad travel day. A tourist from Wales had his car break down in London near the Houses of Parliament, left a note that a towing company was on the way, and went to go sightseeing in the meantime. Anti-terrorist police, however, saw the car, deemed it a security risk, and blew it up. (Oh yeah, and he also got a parking ticket.)

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Roger Clemens was found not guilty today. Only good thing you can say about this expensive complete snafu from our government, at least unlike the WMD fiasco, nobody died.

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Ah, priorities. Urban Meyer’s contract at Ohio State provides a base salary of $700,000; a “transition” payment of $250,000; $1,850,000 a year for “media responsibilities” and $1.4 million a year from OSU’s Nike contract. Now, the team’s GPA last year was 2.8. Meyer gets $50,000 if they raise it to a cumulative 3.0 GPA.

The prosecution has rested in the Jerry Sandusky trial. Wonder if they convict this sleazeball if the jurors will say “You had me at ‘showers.'”

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Part of Jerry Sandusky’s defense is having another Penn State assistant coach testify that other coaches also showered with boys. What were they running at State College, a football program or a Catholic priory?

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President Obama has apparently selected John Kerry to play Mitt Romney in practice debates. Well, and who better to give Obama practice against someone who has taken both sides on most issues?

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The Rolling Stones say they will perform their very last farewell gig at ­Glastonbury in 2013.   And if the band changes their mind afterwards, they can claim they forgot their promise.

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2012 at 12:42 am and is filed under baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Janice Hough, Roger Clemens jokes, Sandusky trial jokes, Urban Meyer jokes, Zimmerman jokes

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