Deadlines and more deadlines.
The Atlanta Braves lost their 10,000th game as a franchise this weekend. Not to be outdone, the Houston Astros showed at the trade deadline that they aspire to reach that mark this decade.
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Astros GM Ed Wade responded to criticism of the team’s trading away their best players by saying “It’s not a fire sale.” “Fire?” – More like a cremation sale.
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San Francisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy downplayed Miguel Tejada’s comments about returning from the DL as early as this week, saying “He’s still not able to move.”
Responded many regular Giants fans “And this is different from the rest of the season how?”
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From Gary Morton in Seattle: The US Postal Service is going to feature online previews of the stamps in its 2012 collection. That’s great news for insomniacs when the Mariners have a day off.
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Paul McCartney played two concerts this week at Wrigley Field. It’s the latest in the year fans at the stadium can remember seeing so many big hits.
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Watching the debt ceiling process kind of makes me wish Congress also had a trade deadline.
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A United Airlines plane had to divert briefly to Havana, Cuba, when the pilots noticed a burning smell on the plane. You could tell the hardcore frequent fliers on board. While many passengers wondered about being able to buy cigars, they were the ones calculating the extra mileage United owed them.
(The diversion appears to have been about an extra 100 miles)
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New research suggests that fatty foods may not just taste good, they may alter the brain’s response to sadness, thus literally serving as “comfort foods.”
I can see it now – Prescription Happy Meals.
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Not to say that President Obama surrendered on the debt ceiling deal. But he got a congratulatory phone call from France.
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So Plaxico Burress is now a member of the New York Jets. Well, he may not know the team’s playbook, but at least he’s familiar with the state’s penal code.
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Tiger Woods has announced he will play in this year’s Australian Open. Insert “Down under” joke here.
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Campaigning in Iowa, Newt Gingrich said President Obama has been “totally irresponsible.” And who would know totally irresponsible better than a man who left two sick wives for younger women.
Tags: baseball jokes, Congress jokes, debt ceiling jokes, Houston Astros jokes, Obama jokes
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Left Coast Sports Babe 
August 1, 2011 at 7:04 am
“Tiger Woods has announced he will play in this year’s Australian Open. Insert “Down under” joke here.”
Said Tiger, “This will allow me to keep my short strokes down under the minimum so I can get it in the hole easier.”
August 1, 2011 at 10:09 am
So it seems Rex Ryan not only “inked” a contract with Plaxico but he also inked his leg. Seems he’s sporting a new leg tatoo -(ewww) great – so now that he has Plaxico on the team – will he also shoot himself in the foot?
August 1, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Bets on how long it takes before Randy Moss pulls a Favre and Unretires…….
August 1, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Plaxico Burress: the gangrene who couldn’t shoot straight.
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Congress does have a ‘trade deadline,’ it’s just not soon enough. Hopefully, the majority of these lawmakers have now exhausted their term limits.
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Randy Moss retired? Let’s hope that a ringing phone gathers no Moss.
August 1, 2011 at 5:14 pm
NY Daily News: “Dunkin’ Donuts employee busted for prostitution; sold sex out of restaurant, cops say.” What are the odds that a cop would frequent a donut shop?
According to the cops, they conducted a 6-week, undercover investigation. The suspect was charged with solicitation, prostitution and alienation of confections.
August 1, 2011 at 9:25 pm
Dunkin Donuts??? I’ve been getting serviced at Krispy Kreme’s other company banner. Look for Creme de la Creme.