Posted tagged ‘Phil Jackson jokes’

Depends?

November 13, 2012

So is the next revelation in the General Petraeus affair going to include a road trip by his ex-mistress to Florida wearing Depends?

Understatement of the year award? Steve Boylan, a Petraeus family friend and former spokesman said on “Good Morning America” that the general’s wife Holly “is not exactly pleased right now.”

At this point what we seem to know is that General Petraeus had an affair with a woman who turned crazy on him. Hmm, maybe the Secret Service had the right idea with prostitutes. (If only they had paid them.)

Somewhere Dwight D. Eisenhower and JFK must be laughing together: “Thank God we didn’t live in the internet age.”

A University of Colorado student has been arrested and charged with “menacing” after he put on a Joker mask at a Boulder movie theater. (And he told police he was aware of the “Dark Knight Rises” shooting.) Not sure if they can make the menacing charge stick but at the least this kid is guilty of terminal stupidity.

Roddy White of the Atlanta Falcons said of his team’s loss to the New Orleans Saints “It’s not like they came out here and won a game. I think we kind of gave it to them.” Proving again, you can still trash talk with a mouthful of sour grapes.

The word from folks associated with the Los Angeles Lakers  is that Phil Jackson thought the job was his: “I know just how you feel” said Mitt Romney..

Not saying the Lakers are old, but will new coach Mike D’Antoni’s challenge now to be to come up with “Hasbeen-sanity?

Apparently more than 25,000 people have signed a petition for Texas to secede from the United States. About 25 million other Americans would probably sign a petition saying “Let them.”

Washington State football coach Mike Leach is now being accused of abusing his players. So will the team colors of Crimson and Gray now become “Fifty Shades of Crimson and Gray”?

It’s Tuesday morning….

May 10, 2011

And Generalissimo Francisco Franco, Osama bin Laden and the Lakers are still dead.

Meanwhile it looks like Phil Jackson has decided it’s time to quit.  About three quarters after his team did.

from Gary Morton.  “Another Lakers’ excuse  – Jason Kidd is genetically predisposed with a shooter’s touch. Also an excellent shooter, his younger brother, Billy The.”

Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, have separated. Wonder if Arnold decided that besides that foreign-birth issue, he hadn’t had enough wives to be a serious GOP candidate for President.

The moving van series:  Oklahoma City Thunder against the Memphis Grizzlies. Just think, had both teams not moved this would have been the I-5 border crossing series between the Seattle Super Sonics and the Vancouver Grizzlies.

The Thunder-Grizzlies game four went to triple overtime, making it a real exhibition of two teams playing with heart. Said the Lakers  ‘ What’s heart?”

At least the Canucks won their second round in the playoffs, so Vancouver fans can’t blame it on something in the water, eh.

Archarcharch, who fractured a bone in his leg in the Kentucky Derby, will retire to stud at the age of three.  Talk about a pension plan.

South Korean researchers have developed a new technology that converts soundwaves into electrical energy. Which could mean someday that cellphone batteries could be charged simply by yelling at the phone. As if we don’t have enough people doing that in stores, restaurants and other public places already.

Tiger Woods has now been dropped to the eighth ranked golfer in the world, following Paul Casey. This came as a shock to all serious golf fans – Tiger is still in the top ten?  (My friend Steve Moyer queries – “Tiger still plays golf?”)

Can anyone imagine a U.S Airline doing this? Emirates Airlines issued this statement “In line with the recent decrease in fuel prices, Emirates has removed the fuel surcharge on all tickets. We promised our customers from the outset that we would eliminate the surcharge as soon as it was commercially viable, and this has now been done. We continue to closely monitor the situation.”

So after signing a book deal, and apparently having plastic surgery, Bristol Palin will now star in a new reality show when she and her son Trippi move in with fellow DWTS star Kyle Massey and his brother. Yes, just another chapter in Bristol’s ongoing campaign to show young women how pre-marital sex will ruin their lives.

Congratulations to all those who had “one week” in the pool. Some right-wing bloggers came out Monday with a story it if were up to the President, Osama Bin Laden would still be alive. Because Obama really didn’t authorize the raid on Bin Laden’s headquarters and that it was really a coup by Hillary Clinton, Robert Gates and Leon Panetta…..  Sigh.