Posted tagged ‘Paul the Octopus jokes’

Paul is dead.

October 27, 2010

Paul the (World Cup predicting) octopus has died at the age of 2 1/2. Apparently his last words were “The Giants and the Rangers in the World Series? NFW.”

And no, Phillies fans aren’t still bitter about their team’s loss, and lack of hitting, in the NLCS.  Today an article in Philly.com talked about Cliff Lee, and Philadelphia’s decision not to resign him last year.  Said one happy fan “They should have kept him, he could have batted cleanup.”

A Cleveland radio station hired a witch doctor to perform a pre-season hex ceremony on Lebron James. If the Heat get off to a bad start I can see new career opportunities if this Senate thing doesn’t work out for Christine O’Donnell. 

Not saying that Fox is disappointed with the Rangers vs. Giants World Series and the potential low ratings. But rumor has it the network has offered their affiliates the opportunity to pre-empt the games for “Glee” reruns.

It’s enough to ALMOST make you feel sorry for the Golden State Warriors, who never get any respect in the San Francisco Bay Area. And this year their home opener? Wednesday, October 27. Nothing else going on in local sports that night….

At least some good news for the Golden State Warriors as they open the new season.   Thanks to the “Fourth and Niners” they are almost guaranteed not to be the sorriest story in Northern California sports.

from Marc Ragovin: 

So the NY Knicks have signed a marketing deal with 1800 Silver Tequila. Hey,  the way they play these are gonna be the best shots in Madison Square Garden all season.

On Wednesday pitcher Cliff Lee will make his second World Series game one start in a row. Last year he started for the Phillies, this year he starts for the Rangers, and next year, many expect him to start for the Yankees.

SEC family values strike again:  On September 14, University of Florida wide receiver Chris Rainey was arrested and charged with aggravated stalking for allegedly sending threatening texts to his girlfriend. Including one that said “Time to die.” This weekend, coach Urban Meyer says Rainey will be reinstated to the team. Hey, it’s a rivalry game with Georgia.

Lebron James and his pals on the Heat lost their season opener to the Celtics 88-80. That’s really a shame, said absolutely no one outside Miami.

I suppose Lebron James may have done some good for the league on television this year.  As inspired by TC  – wonder how many fans will tune into Miami games just because they can’t stand the Heat.

In fact, it may only be the beginning of the season but the Miami Heat have done something few sports teams have been able to accomplish – become more hated than the Yankees.

Joe Theismann said that Vikings’ coach Brad Childress should “man up” this weekend, and say, ‘Brett, sit down.’ ”  While he’s at it, Childress should also probably say “Brett, put the phone down too.”

Crashes, explosions, etc…

August 27, 2010

Some stock market watchers are worried about something called the “Hindenberg Omen,” which has been about 25 percent accurate in predicting market crashes. Still others are waiting for a prediction from Paul the Octopus.


British Airways apologized after an recorded message was accidentally broadcast on a London-Hong Kong flight. The message said “This is an emergency announcement. We may shortly need to make an emergency landing on water.”

So much for all those who said they had the worst flight of the week because of an inedible meal or a crying baby.

‎47 years to the day after Martin Luther King, Jr gave his “I have a dream” speech at the Lincoln Memorial, Glenn Beck will give a speech, “Restoring Honor”, on those same steps. I’m pretty sure the only dream MLK would have had regarding such a speech would have involved a hard night and WAY too much tequila.


UNC’s athletic director says the football program is under investigation for “improprieties that existed outside the classroom.” Responded most Tarheel players when asked “What classroom?”


Bad news for Stephen Strasburg, who while he has a guaranteed $15 million contract, will need to undergo Tommy John surgery and miss the 2011 season. Worse news for all those poor guys and gals trying to sell Nationals 2011 season tickets.


The White Sox were apparently awarded the waiver claim on Manny Ramirez. Let’s see, this could mean Ozzie Guillen and Manny in the same clubhouse… isn’t this some kind of violation against a weapons treaty.


A great comment from George Emil about yesterday’s post that Dennis Rodman had slept with 2,000 women. I wondered how many of them were lesbians. George wondered, how many of them BECAME lesbians?

The preseason is months away, and the NBA has suspended Brandon Rush of the Indiana Pacers, Tyreke Evans of the Sacramento Kings and Kenny Hasbrouck of the Miami Heat for separate incidents.

These guys aren’t doing much to refute the NBA image of “Nothing but A**holes.”

Levi Johnston now says he regrets his apology to Sarah Palin, because it wasn’t true, but he did it to make Bristol happy. In some ways it’s a shame the two have broken up, because they really are perfect for each other.


Emergency Management agency director Mike Brown tells NBC’s “Today” show “there was a disconnect” between the truth and what the Bush administration was saying about the situation. Responded former President Bush – “There was no disconnect, the White House electricity never went off.”


from T.C.

PGA golfer Jim Furyk missed his Pro-Am time due to his alarm failing, thus disqualifying him from this week’s event. No word on whether Ken Griffey Jr was in his group.


and new Elton John song “Brady hates the Jets.”


An open question to those who feel that the government should somehow regulate the building of mosques. Are you okay with the next step being government regulation of YOUR church?

Gone but not forgotten…

July 14, 2010

As my friend Andy said about George Steinbrenner, some loved him, some hated him, but no one will forget him.

And that next thunderstorm you hear…probably George and Billy Martin reuniting somewhere.


New York pitcher Phil Hughes was the losing pitcher in the All-Star game, charged with 2 earned runs in 1/3 of an inning. In honor of George Steinbrenner, the Yankees are thinking of having him traded to the Royals.


With the death of George Steinbrenner, many people are now crossing “Yankees” off their bumper stickers and substituting “My favorite team is whoever is playing the “Heat.”


Actually, until Brian McCann hit that three-run two out double, the All-Star Game was looking an awful lot like a World Cup final, albeit without vuvuzelas.


Although, sorry Bud Selig, when asked, Paul the Octopus said he couldn’t care less who won the All-Star Game.


Oracle CEO Larry Ellison may be on the verge of acquiring the Golden State Warriors. Which if nothing else should mean that the pundits may stop referring to Oracle’s purchase of Sun as the biggest mistake they ever made.

And while we’re on the subject of high-tech, so let’s see, Apple’s new 4G iPhone works fine, unless you’re lefthanded, or hold the phone in your left hand. And the company is kind of shrugging it off as no big deal.

How did Apple choose their latest public relations firm anyway? A referral from BP?

The phone is apparently fixable with duct tape. Right, nothing says “I am the coolest person with the coolest newest gadget on the planet” like a phone wrapped in duct tape.


The Queen of England was given a new Blackberry from Research in Motion on her recent trip to Canada. But I don’t think it will be anytime so that Steve Jobs will be delivering a new iPhone to the White House. (Obama is lefthanded.)

Senate candidate Carly Fiorina said when she was at HP that “there is no job that is America’s God-given right anymore.” Apparently, however, she does believe millionaires with no political experience have a God-given right to buy elections.

Sharron Angle, Senate candidate in Nevada, said in an interview today that God is backing her candidacy. Yeah, but Senator Harry Reid soon hopes to announce the support of Paul the Octopus.


Just wondering, if when two candidates each have God on their side, does God flip a coin or what?


The Cleveland Cavaliers’ Zydrunas Ilgauskas has followed Lebron James to the Heat. Making sure if nothing else the team will make Scrabble fans happy.


Great joke from my very funny friend Alex Kaseberg.

“It has been tough for Cleveland sports fans. First, the Cleveland Browns left for Baltimore; then LeBron James leaves for Miami.

And, worst of all, the Cleveland Indians won’t go anywhere.”