Posted tagged ‘Jim Tressel jokes’

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Alas poor Tressel.

May 31, 2011

We thought we knew him.

 

There are rumors that Ohio State coach Jim Tressel’s resignation was actually a “resign or be fired” situation. But no one will probably ever know for sure; Tressel’s playing it pretty close to the vest.

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Wonder if Tressell will follow Pete Carroll to the NFL. Since he’s already has plenty of experience in dealing with well-paid players.

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No news on what the NCAA might do to the Ohio State program with the most recent revelations. But it’s increasingly looking like a good bet that Buckeye players won’t have any bowl memorabilia to sell this year.

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And somewhere, the headstone on Woody Hayes’ grave has probably become a pinwheel.

 

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Who’d a thunk that the Bill Martin, the Michigan athletic director who hired Rich Rodriguez, might end up looking better than Ohio State AD Gene Smith.

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At least Rich Rodriguez’s players never really got any good bowl memorabilia to sell.

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Today the NCAA announced which men’s baseball teams have qualified for the tournament leading to the College World Series. Much disappointment in Minnesota – fans hoped the Twins would get at least a six seed.

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FIFA president Sepp Blatter says that bribery allegations had done “great damage” to the soccer governing body’s image. Well, not exactly, no one outside of FIFA has thought for a long time that they had a reputation left to ruin.

 

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Today the NCAA announced which men’s baseball teams have qualified for the tournament leading to the College World Series. Much disappointment in Minnesota – fans hoped the Twins would get at least a six seed.

 

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Meanwhile Sarah Palin’s One Nation Bus (and Motorcycle) Tour is on its way, even if the itinerary is a closely guarded secret, even and especially from the media.

Palin did stop at Mount Vernon, where she proclaimed George Washington her “Favorite Founding Father.”

Uh, has anyone told Sarah that when he crossed the Delaware, Washington didn’t do the truly brave thing, and stop half way?

Now, originally in 2010 when Palin was asked by Glenn Beck who her favorite founding father was, she said “all of them,” and only settled on Washington when pressed “because he was almost reluctant to serve as president too and that’s who you need to find to serve in government, in a bureaucracy — those who you know will serve for the right reasons….”

“For the right reasons?”  Are we talking about choosing presidents , or picking a winner on “the Bachelorette?”

 

and finally back to sports from T.C.   JR Hildebrand has sent Jean Van de Velde a friend request

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Upset stomachs.

March 18, 2011
March 17 was a day for upset stomachs  – for drinkers and nondrinkers alike, the day after St. Patrick’s Day.    Especially for those who had Louisville into the Final Four.
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There was actually a semi-upset in the play-in round, as the relatively unheralded VCU Rams knocked off the  USC Trojans, 59-46.   USC players were particularly upset after the game and wishing they’d gone to the NIT.  Now all that’s left for them this year is the prospect of going to class.
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#13 Morehead State 62, #4 Louisville 61. This might be the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to coach Rick Pitino, at least while he kept his pants on.
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Ken Griffey, Jr now says that he abruptly retired last year because he felt he had “become a distraction.”  Upon hearing the news Brett Favre giggled.
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San Diego Chargers linebacker Kevin Burnett called NFL commissioner Roger Goddell a “blatant liar” in an radio interview. Goddell was shocked – a University Tennessee football graduate knows the word “blatant?”
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A co-pilot for United Express has been charged with flying while drunk on a flight last December from Austin to Denver. Wonder if this means the next airline ticket surcharge will be for a breathalyzer in the cockpit?

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Actor Michael Gough, 94, died today. His most memorable role, on television and in the movies was as Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne/Batman’s butler. Wonder if God called him home on the Batphone?

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SF Giants’ ace Tim Lincecum was quoted in the SF Chronicle as saying his favorite “In and Out Burger’ order is  “Three Double-Doubles. Two fries. A chocolate-strawberry shake. Ketchup please, but hold the lettuce and tomatoes.”

Wow, wonder what would give a skinny little guy like him such a major case of the munchies?

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A sign that we’re getting closer to the beginning of the regular season and real baseball.  Wednesday night The Mariners’ Milton Bradley was ejected for the first time in 2011 

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Now that several of OSUs star players, including QB Terrelle Pryor, have been suspended 5 games for selling memorabilia, coach Jim Tressel has requested his own suspension also be increased to 5 games. Partly this may be in hopes of leniency from the NCAA. Or partly it may be, with his stars gone, Tressel doesn’t want the potential losses on his watch.

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No warming trend for these Heat.

March 9, 2011

The Miami Heat lost their FIFTH game in a row tonight, 105-96 to the Portland Traiiblazers.. Even without a punchline, I just like writing it.

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What do you call five Heat losses in a row?  A good start.

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So will the theme song for this year’s Miami team in the NBA playoffs be “The Heat is Gone?”

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Starbucks is celebrating their 40th anniversary. What they are really celebrating these days, however, is that gas prices are making their coffee prices almost look reasonable.

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Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel will be fined $250k and suspended for the first two games of the season for ignoring the fact his players were selling memorabilia. The first two games of the 2011 for the Buckeyes are against Akron and Toledo. So who is this OSU athletic director and when did he transfer from the SEC ?  (Or USC.)

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Buckeyes’ coach Jim Tressel apparently ignored the fact that his star players were selling memorabilia, because he “wanted to keep the team together.” And of course he was following OSU’s version of the honor code: “Beat Michigan.”

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Texas Tech let Bobby Knight’s son Pat go as head coach after three seasons. Unfortunately it turns out he couldn’t hold a chair to his father.

(or as Alex Kaseberg says “The chair didn’t fall far from the tree.”)

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Mike Huckabee says of the controversy around last week’s other incendiary comments  “Well, I can’t be both. I can’t be the dumbest guy in the room and the smartest guy in the room at the same time.”

Uh, Mike, no one is accusing you of the latter.

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Mike Huckabee’s latest defense over his most recent controversy is that he “didn’t bring Natalie Portman up at all,” suggesting that radio host Michael Medved was the one who dragged Portman into the discussion. You have to love it. Huckabee, of course, is running on a platform of personal responsibility.

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Tuesday was Mardi Gras.  Now Mardi Gras translates literally  to “Fat Tuesday.” Which means the day has really transplanted Thanksgiving as the most American of holidays

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for Canadian readers:  (or anyone interested in politics north of the border.)

At least four Canadian government departments have reported that they received a directive late last year that the words “Government of Canada” in federal communications be replaced with “Harper Government.” This is why many Canadians are beginning to believe that God has a Stephen Harper complex.

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