Posted tagged ‘Iran jokes’

Equally bad?

November 24, 2013

So has the #NFL achieved #parity? Or just a lot of mediocre teams?

One headline Sunday after the 4-7 Gators’ loss to Georgia Southern said “Florida Hits Bottom.” And out west, Cal Bears fans are thinking “Uh, depends what your definition of ‘bottom’ is.”

Georgia Southern beat Florida yesterday without completing a pass. Was this a football game or a competition between the schools’ chess teams?

For the uninitiated, few teams hate each other more than Green Bay and Minnesota. So Sunday was like kissing a particularly ugly and/or smelly sister.

Apparently some members of the  Packers didn’t realize the game would end as a tie if they were tied with the Vikings after one overtime.  Didn’t realize Green Bay had added  Donovan McNabb to their coaching staff.

A 20 year-old American tourist died last week after he and a friend got drunk and jumped off a bridge into a river in Seville, Spain. Guess a more intelligent alternative wasn’t available, like running with the Bulls?

The NY Knicks are 3-9, but coach Mike Woodson said it’s too early for the team to start panicking. The Utah Jazz are 1-13. Yeah, they can panic.

Reports are that football coach Will Muschamp will be back at Florida in 2014. Translation – The Gators don’t think they will be able to find anyone else to take over their mess.

Just think of all the poor kids in Boston who didn’t even fight their parents telling them to go to bed at halftime of a 24-0 Broncos-Patriots game.

From Bill Littlejohn:  “CB Vontae Davis was dealt from the Dolphins reportedly because during practices he went to the bathroom too much.He gives new meaning to the term No. 1 draft pick”

Regarding the Iran deal, it’s hard to top the reaction of Texas Senator John Cornyn. “Amazing what WH will do to distract attention from O-care.” (Hey, at least Obama didn’t go invade a country.)

With many in the GOP attacking President Obama for negotiating with Iran, wonder what they’d say if an administration not only negotiated with but sold arms to the post-Shah regime? Hypothetically speaking of course.

If you are a conservative who has studied history, ignore this post. But strikes me that a lot of the GOP today are referencing “Neville Chamberlain” when yesterday they might have had a hard time telling you who he was.

CB Vontae Davis was dealt from the Dolphins reportedly because during practices he went to the bathroom too much. He gives new meaning to the term No. 1 draft pick.

– See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/home/hart_attack/news/v/Local/300959/Hartley-Miller-s-Hart-Attack-November-22-2013-Edition-446#sthash.RekDW73k.dpuf

CB Vontae Davis was dealt from the Dolphins reportedly because during practices he went to the bathroom too much. He gives new meaning to the term No. 1 draft pick. – See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/home/hart_attack/news/v/Local/300959/Hartley-Miller-s-Hart-Attack-November-22-2013-Edition-446#sthash.RekDW73k.dpuf
CB Vontae Davis was dealt from the Dolphins reportedly because during practices he went to the bathroom too much. He gives new meaning to the term No. 1 draft pick. – See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/home/hart_attack/news/v/Local/300959/Hartley-Miller-s-Hart-Attack-November-22-2013-Edition-446#sthash.RekDW73k.dpuf
CB Vontae Davis was dealt from the Dolphins reportedly because during practices he went to the bathroom too much. He gives new meaning to the term No. 1 draft pick. – See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/home/hart_attack/news/v/Local/300959/Hartley-Miller-s-Hart-Attack-November-22-2013-Edition-446#sthash.RekDW73k.dpuf
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Retirements and other endings..

June 20, 2009

Joseph Houghtaling,  the inventor of the “Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed,” has died.  His funeral service will have a nominal 25 cents admission charge but promises to be a relaxing 15 minute experience.

Woods had two double bogeys and a bogey in the last four holes of his U.S. Open first round. So will the headlines read “Bethpage puts Tiger in the tank?”

Tom Glavine told the Associated Press in a text message that he plans to “hang out” for the rest of the summer but is not announcing his retirement. Wonder if  he’ll be “hanging out” with Brett Favre?

Apparently the husband of John Ensign’s former mistress has made “exorbitant demands for cash and other financial benefits” to the Nevada Senator. Even Rod Blagojevich says this story is getting tacky.

My Space laid off 30 percent of their workforce.   The main reason the company gave for firing those employees ?  They were spending too much time at work on Facebook and Twitter.

In two weeks,  Manny Ramirez’s drug suspension will be over.  He assures the Dodgers he will return as a good teammate with a great attitude, especially as he no longer suffers from PMS.

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From Bill Littlejohn:

Iran spiritual leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei says the elections there ‘weren’t rigged.  He also says Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire belong in the Hall of Fame”