Posted tagged ‘Bill O’Reilly jokes’

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When you’re hot…

October 23, 2017

Can we really call it the Fall Classic when it’s going to be 92 degrees for World Series  game time in Los Angeles?

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Maybe Fall will refer to fans passing out in the stands.

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Now Carson Palmer who will be out for at least 8 wks. If I didn’t know better would think God wanted teams to sign Kaepernick. Or Tebow?

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SDChargers fan flying banner over StubHub Ctr: “Dean Spanos Cheap, Inept Weasel!” Same initials, could Redskins fans borrow for Dan Snyder?

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Phoenix point guard Eric Bledsoe tweeted “I Don’t wanna be here.” Suns sent him home and apparently plan to trade him. Bledsoe now says he “was at hair salon.” Missing those innocent times when this would have been biggest controversy of the day on social media.

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Billionaires need more tax cuts like the NBA needs a longer season.

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Bill O’Reilly attacked NY Times reporter confronting him on settlement.     “This is c**p & you know it.”   Right, Fox just paid $32 million for nothing.

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Fox News would not have paid $32 million for nothing. Only time they did was for some free agents when they owned Dodgers.

 

Sarah Huckabee Sanders tweeted  “The average American family would get a $4,000 raise under the President’s tax cut plan. So how could any member of Congress be against it?”

Guessing someone didn’t go far enough in math to learn the difference between mean, median, and mode.    Or hopes that most Americans don’t know either.

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Tom Hanks -Trump’s handling of soldier’s death “just seems like one of biggest cock-ups on planet Earth. “Loser Tom Hanks” tweets in 3.2.1..

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Trump tweet “There will be NO change to your 401(k).”

Someone didn’t learn from “read my lips” & “if you like your doctor you can keep your doctor?”

 

That moment when Megyn Kelly is attacking Fox News & John McCain is attacking a GOP President.
#whythereisnosatire

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Now Trump is accusing a Gold Star widow, Myeshia Johnson, of lying. This is MAGA?

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Amazing.  Myeshia Johnson story & so many other @realDonaldTrump controversies would’ve been nothing if Trump could simply say “I’m sorry.”

 

If you’re trolling or attacking Myeshia Johnson, a Gold Star widow who wasn’t even allowed to see her husband’s body, you are deplorable. Period.

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Is that a squirrel on the field?

April 18, 2017

If you are a fan of sports and politics,  Tuesday night was a time for serious temporary ADHD.  NBA playoffs, NHL playoffs, baseball and the Georgia special election.

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For the SF Giants returning to Kansas City for the first time since 2014 playoffs,  the question of the night as the game moved at 1-1 towards extra innings – could they pinch hit Madbum?

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MLB umpires apparently will soon be miked to explain replays. So much for the 30 seconds baseball saved with not having to throw four balls for an intentional walk.

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Carmelo Anthony, who is divorcing his wife La La, reportedly got a gentlemen’s club dancer pregnant while he was married. A shame, but in New York Melo never really seems to have scored to help the team.

 

Now  what is happening in #NBAPlayoffs2017? #Celtics trying to wrest title from #Cavs as league’s most overrated team?

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Adidas apologized for sending an email to customers “Congrats, you survived the Boston Marathon!” Did they hire PR team from Pepsi?

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AP: On day Ivanka dined w/ Pres. of China. her company won approval from Chinese govt for 3 new trademarks. Am sure it’s just coincidence.

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Apparently Fox is going to dump Bill O’Reilly.  Over-under on when O’Reilly accepts a position in the Trump administration?

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Donald Trump signed EO today telling federal agencies to implement the “Buy American, Hire American” policies.
So when will he and Ivanka start doing this at say, Mar-A-Lago and her clothing company.

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CNN reports that the  White House and Pentagon miscommunicated on an aircraft carrier’s location,  as the White House said it was heading towards North Korea, when the Carl Vinson was really heading toward the Indian Ocean.

I think I like not being able to find a battleship better when it’s a children’s game.

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Even in the South, the times, and tastes, they are a changin…. While reading about the Georgia special election in the local Atlanta Journal Constitution, saw an item that a local grilled cheese restaurant is closing, to be replaced by a Poké Bar. And it doesn’t even sell fried poké.

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Marc Ragovin  “hears that United Airlines’ engineers are designing a plane that will reduce drag.”

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Serious note, Facebook killer shot himself. Shame he did murder-suicide in reverse order. But don’t post his name. Post the victim’s  Robert Godwin..

 

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Mourning after?

February 3, 2014

Apparently 6% of Americans take the day off after the Super Bowl. So the Denver Broncos were just 24 hours ahead of their time.

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Super Bowl XLVIII is over.  On what channel does the Super Bowl XLIX pre-game show starts today.

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All these people freaking out about the multilingual Coke ad should be thanking their lucky stars there are still American products the rest of the world loves.

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Alexander Bradley, linked to a unsolved 2012 double homicide with Aaron Hernandez, accused Herandez of shooting him during an argument last year. And last night Bradley was shot again, this time outside a Hartford nightclub, where he then allegedly opened fire. Not sure, but this man might want to rethink his associates.

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Yesterday’s Super Bowl set a record for the most-watched television event in U.S. history, drawing 111.5 million viewers. Well, Americans do love a good train wreck.

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Maybe we should have known from the opening snap that “Over their heads” would be the Broncos theme for the Super Bowl. #SB48

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In Florida, a middle school teacher who was accused of up to class drunk is blaming it on diabetes. And Toronto mayor Rob Ford is going “why didn’t I think of that?”

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Oklahoma State freshman guard Stevie Clark was dismissed from the team following after he followed a Jan 1 arrest for marijuana possession with an arrest yesterday for”outraging public decency.” Guess this puts Clark in the category of “One-half and done?”

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FOX’s Greta Van Susteren criticized her own network’s pre-Super Bowl Presidential interview: “With all the ‘stuff’ that goes on in the world, I want a few minutes off….I want something light…something maybe just about sports.” I don’t know, seems like Obama was more competitive against O’Reilly than the Broncos turned out to be against the Seahawks.

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After the Super Bowl, Richard Sherman called Peyton Manning the “classiest person/player” he had ever met, and tweeted “There is no reason to bash him on here please Seattle let’s just enjoy this one!!!! He is still a Future HOF player.” But Doug Baldwin went off on a rant against Cris Carter who had called the Seahawks receivers “‘average” and ‘pedestrian.” Is it a rule that one Seattle player has to act like an idiot after every big game?

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Eight inches of snow and cancelled flights in New York this morning. And Broncos fans are looking at the heavens and saying “What took you so long?”

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Matt Gubser gets a permanent seat on the bus to hell for this one. Wish I had written it.

“Personally, I think it was a very nice gesture for the Broncos’ offense to take that three hour moment of silence for Philip Seymour Hoffman.”
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From Darren K. Johnston   “After seeing that commercial with the horse & puppy, my kids wouldn’t stop bugging me. So I caved and bought them a case of Bud.”

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