Posted tagged ‘Big Game jokes’

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Something’s got to give…

October 21, 2012

Immovable force meeting irresistible object? The SF Giants have won 5 straight games facing elimination this postseason, the Cardinals have won their last 6 dating back to 2011.

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Hmm, maybe too much time in water really does soak your brain dept: On College Game Day today, Olympic gold-medal winning swimmer Ryan Lochte was asked who would win the LSU-Texas A&M game: “I think they’re gonna end their six-game losing streak in the SEC — gonna have to go with Auburn.”

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Once again, as we approach game seven of NLCS interesting to remember that an ESPN poll said 68 percent of Americans figured the SF Giants wouldn’t make the playoffs after Melky Cabrera was suspended.

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GOP strategist Marc Rotterman complained that the “presidential election unofficially started back in the fall of 2011, a schedule that is absurd.” Is he crazy? The election didn’t start in the fall of 2011. It started the day after Obama was elected.

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So who’d a think that right this minute, Barry Zito’s contract would look better than A-Rod’s?

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Big Game between Stanford and Cal was played on. October 20. Because nothing says a big rivalry game like playing it when it’s convenient for the Pac 12 Network.

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Post Big-Game thought:  Cal is apparently so bad this year that Stanford can win without a quarterback.

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Residents of South New Jersey apparently felt the ground shaking Saturday morning, but no earthquakes or military training exercises were reported in the region. Maybe Chris Christie has taken up jogging?

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The NFL is investigating the San Diego Chargers for possibly using an illegal “Stick ’em” substance on their hands. I guess I understand the idea of cheating to be great, but cheating to be mediocre?

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“It does not take any courage at all for a congressman, or a senator, or a president to wrap himself in the flag… because it is not our blood that is being shed.” George McGovern, 1970.

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Some in GOP are trying to make political hay out of the fact that a man who lives near London was able to make two $5 donations to President Obama’s campaign, by using his English address but a NY zip code. Right, where was this outrage when Romney had an expensive fundraiser in Tel Aviv?

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Former Red Sox pitching coach John Farrell is returning to the team as their new manager. To accomplish this, Boston had to trade infielder Mike Aviles to the Blue Jays, and presumably promise Farrell they were never bringing back Josh Beckett.

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Yankees GM manager Brian Cashman today called a trade of Alex Rodriguez “unrealistic.” Translation, we don’t think even the Dodgers are crazy enough to take him.

 

If the Giants keep winning the Yankees may try to extradite them back to New York and take the team over.

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Finally,  if you have three minutes check out this link sent to me by my friend Andy Dwan.  Watch it until the end.

http://gawker.com/5953357/missouri-pastors-fiery-speech-against-equal-rights-for-homosexuals-has-stunning-twist-ending

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Big Game – Little drama

November 21, 2010

The first storm of the season: P G & E reports that there are six power outages in Berkeley. Seven if you count the Cal offense.

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The final score was Stanford 48 – Cal 14, and those 14 points came late in the game against Stanford’s second team defense.  So this year, however, the Bears can’t blame their Big Game loss on too much Luck.

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Despite the rivalry, however, Cal fans actually had nothing but good wishes for Stanford Quarterback Andrew Luck.  In fact, after the game they were unanimous in saying that with his talents, Luck really should enter the NFL draft after this year.

After the 2010 season,  Cal’s aging Memorial Stadium will be basically completely gutted and renovated.  But today’s Stanford-Cal “Big Game” was only the second-to-last game, as the University of Washington comes to Berkeley next weekend.

Just as well, after today’s 48-14 loss, Bears fans might be more than willing to tear down the old stadium, with the team in it.

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The Vikings will activate wide receiver Sydney Rice for tomorrow’s game against Packers. Presumably coach Brad Childress wanted to make sure Rice was completely ready to play, both to catch passes and to tackle Green Bay defensive ends who intercept Brett Favre.

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The Golden State Warriors now have both Stephen Curry, a Davidson graduate, and Jeremy Lin, a Harvard graduate, on their roster. Which means they may well have the two NBA players with the highest SAT scores.

Said many of their fellow players in the league  – “What are SAT scores?”

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It could always be worse department: The Illinois-Northwestern game today was the first college football game at Wrigley Field in 72 years. Just think, fans in attendance then were probably complaining about their Cubs’ 30 year World Series drought.

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Billionaire Mitt Romney told supporters that he thinks people are “exhausted” from the 2010 elections, so he wants to wait a while before he really gears up his presidential campaign for 2012.

Hmm, wonder when he last talked to his good friend and protege Meg Whitman?

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Another potential silver lining to this whole TSA potentially overly-instrusive patdown controversy.  By the time you get to your airline seat, being cramped, nickel-and-dimed, and ignored by flight attendants will seem almost pleasant by comparison.

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The Redskins hope to rebound Sunday against the Titans.   Or at least make a decision about saving some serious money.

Bill Littlejohn, on Donovan McNabb’s new $78 million contract giving the Redskins an out clause: “In the first quarter Monday night, it looked like a three-and-out clause.”

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Back to baseball – in a column this week Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Giants wrote while praising Brian Wilson that he nonetheless  “pulled out every theatrical gimmick except a monocle and feather boa.”

So okay, Giants fans, we know who to blame next year when Wilson shows up with that monocle and boa….

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Go Cardinal.

November 21, 2009

On the eve of the Big Game with Stanford, Cal students took over a classroom building to protest tuition fee hikes. No football players, however, were involved. Not that any of them know where a classroom building is….

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Actually, as big as “Big Game” is for Stanford, next week’s matchup with Notre Dame could be even more interesting. Especially since Charlie Weis may have his job on the line. Let’s see, the Fighting Irish in the midst of a disappointing season, all that tradition and hard-core alums, and a coach who could get fired if they lose. Can’t imagine what the Stanford band will come up with for a halftime show….

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And maybe after the Stanford-Cal game, the media will finally stop talking about Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh’s decision to go for two with a 27 point lead last week against USC. Personally, while Harbaugh has come up with all sorts of excuses on the subject, I would have preferred the Woody Hayes answer. When asked once why he went for two with a 36 (yes 36) point lead against Michigan, he responded “Because I couldn’t go for three.”

(note, this might be the only time EVER I write something positive about the late Woody Hayes.)

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Correcting the spread: As noted earlier this week in this blog. The University of Florida, as part of their usual yearly effort to play a schedule worthy of a BCS champion, has scheduled Florida International University this weekend. The spread was 41 1/2. Six touchdowns. But Vegas has decided that was unrealistic. The spread is now 45.

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Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum won the Cy Young with only 15 wins, despite a 2.48 ERA. Since voters decided not to punish him for the team’s anemic offense. Asked about trying to sign a “big bat,” San Francisco GM Brian Sabean said they probably wouldn’t go for one of the top, but that there was a “good crop of second-tier free agents” out there. Translation, next year Lincecum could win another award with a 2.20 ERA and 13 wins.
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“New Moon,” the second movie in the “Twilight Saga,” is opening this weekend. For all those who didn’t believe it would be possible to write worse dialogue than the “Star Wars Trilogy.”

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Give the “Twilight” phenonomen some credit. The movies are making many parents think back nostalgically to the days of “Barney the Dinosaur.”

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Customs officers seized a shipment of 316,000 bongs disguised as Christmas ornaments at Los Angeles harbor. In related news, shares of Krispy Kreme stock just dropped 10 percent.

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