Posted tagged ‘Bachman jokes’

A good bet?

August 22, 2011

Joe Biden was in China trying to bolster confidence in the U.S. economy, saying on Friday – “No one has ever made money betting against America.” Well, clearly the V.P. hasn’t watched a lot of major golf or men’s tennis tournaments lately.


Regarding God and Tim Tebow. Maybe it’s just that He loves Tim so much He doesn’t want to have him on the field getting tackled all the time.

Sarah Palin claims now on her Facebook page that she went to the National World War I Museum in Kansas City last week, although no one at the museum apparently saw her inside.

Palin did post a picture with her daughter and niece, which a reporter said was from inside the Westin in Kansas City.

So maybe what she meant was “I could see the museum from my room.”


You have to wonder, did Michele Bachmann consider ordering her speechwriters to get to work on something blaming President Obama for overthrowing Moammar Gadhafi.


Good to see the rebels doing well in Libya. Let’s just hope that the difference between rebels and dictators doesn’t turn out again simply to be who’s in charge.

Kim Kardashian got married this weekend. Straight men were as likely to watch the television coverages as Rick Perry is to watch the Science channel.


Meanwhile, on a cooler wedding note, country singer Chely Wright was also married last weekend, to her girlfriend Lauren Blitzer. (Wright only came out last year.)

To do this as a country singer and a Christian takes serious guts. Good for Chely.


The Help,” was #1 at the box office this weekend. Wonder how many women told their husbands, “it’s okay honey, we don’t have to go, we can stay home and watch coverage of the Kardashian wedding.”

A Brett Favre lookalike, wearing a #4 jersey, was apparently signing autographs in Green Bay last week. Though Favre’s “travel coordinator” said Brett was not in Green Bay. Many fans, however, were able to figure the deception out quickly – when the imposter made an instant decision about signing.


Foxnews.com is critical of Obama’s taking what their writer Chris Stirewalt calls “a fantasy preppy getaway in New England, as the nation’s economy reels.” Gosh, must have missed Fox’s outraged response when W. took those fantasy cowboy getaways to his ranch.


Mitt Romney currently has three homes, a townhouse outside of Boston, a $10 million vacation home in N.H, and a $12 million 3000 sq.ft beachfront place in San Diego. Now he wants to bulldoze the California place to build an 11,000 sq ft home, because the current place is “inadequate for their needs.” Can’t imagine how Mitt gets a reputation for being out of touch.


And finally, okay SF Giants fans, admittedly Brandon Crawford can’t hit. But the difference between a .190 average and a .240 average is five hits out of 100 at-bats. Maybe a hit a week. Crawford’s glove takes away almost a hit a game compared to what Tejada-Cabrera let get through. So why isn’t he on the big league roster?

Losers and the Lost.

June 27, 2011

An Emperor penguin is under medical care in New Zealand after somehow getting lost and swimming there all the way from its native Antarctia.  Doctors have recently ascertained that the bird, dubbed “Happy Feet,” is a male. Well, of course, a female penguin would have asked for directions.

Statement SF Giants fans thought they would NEVER hear this season: From Cleveland Indians manager Manny Acta said. “I felt we had the opportunity to win two of the three games at least. We were flat out overmatched at the plate.”

With all due respect, the Giants hitters these days couldn’t overmatch a team of anorexic supermodels at the place.

Meanwhile, in Texas – Final score Sunday – Tampa Bay 14 – Houston 10. So did the NFL schedule a secret pre-season game and not tell anyone?

Russian billionaire and New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prohkorov is now the head of a new political party, “Just Cause,” in Russia. “Just Cause,” is considered to be a Kremlin creation to give the illusion of competing with the ruling United Russia party. Well, if anyone knows about giving the illusion of competing, it’s the owner of the Nets.

Newt Gingrich in a Saturday speech on the legalization of gay marriage “I think we are drifting toward a terrible muddle which I think is going to be very, very difficult and painful to work our way out of.” Right, as opposed to straight marriage, where you can just very very easily dump your wife when she gets sick.

The Detroit Tigers retired the number of former manager Sparky Anderson, who died last year at the age of 76. Had he lived, however, Sparky might now have been considered too young and inexperienced for the Marlins job.

Michelle Bachman said her experience founding and running a pair of mental health clinics qualifies her for the presidency. Insert “blind leading the blind” joke here.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie stated Sunday that he was “not a fan of gay marriage.”  Well, while I can’t speak for all gay men, I think it’s a pretty safe better none of them are interested in marrying him anyway.

The University of Kentucky has apparently agreed to a two-year extension for men’s basketball coach John Calipari, giving him a total eight more years on his contract. Wonder if there’s an opt-out if the Wildcats become the third team in a row to vacate wins for violations with Calipari in charge.

From Gary Morton, some news  from Seattle:  The Mariners rank 22nd on baseball’s 2011 attendance records, averaging slightly over 22,000/game. The Seattle Sounders – soccer – would rank 9th on that same list, averaging just over 36,000. It’s no surprise to Seattle fans that the Sounders have more success at the gate than their baseball peers – they score a lot more than the Mariners.