Posted tagged ‘Alec Baldwin jokes’

If he’s really leaving, who can he take with him?

February 24, 2014

Alec Baldwin says he is leaving New York and “It’s goodbye to public life.” Is it too soon to start a pool on his next headline-causing incident?

That sinking feeling when it’s only February and you think the “Darwin Award Winner of the Year” competition might be over: Police are reporting a Michigan man fatally shot himself in the head Sunday, while demonstrating gun safety..

Meanwhile, the geography award of the day goes to the client who asked me to send her all the flight options from Amsterdam to the Hague….

Former San Diego State RB Adam Muema left the NFL combine early, telling a reporter that God told him if he quit, he’d play for the Seattle Seahawks. “(God) told me to sit down, be quiet, and enjoy the peace.” Sounds like Muema’s likely to enjoy the peace of a phone not ringing.

Apparently McDonalds may start serving their breakfast items until 12n. And many Millenials are thinking. “Dudes, why stop so early in the day?”

Taco Bell is introducing a waffle taco. Presumably the product will debut in Colorado and Washington?

Now that the Sochi games are over, most casual American sports fans can stop ignoring the Olympics, and start ignoring the NHL and NBA regular seasons.

Harold Ramis, co-writer of “Animal House” has passed away. Toga party in heaven tonight?

For the second time in a year, Disney is raising prices for their Magic Kingdom Park in Florida, to $99 for a single day pass. Gosh, for the cost of taking a family of four, you could almost buy a bleacher seat at Yankee Stadium.

A recent AP poll of Americans found that while 48% were against letting airline passengers make inflight cellphone calls, amongst those who’d flown at least 4 times in the last year, the opposition rate was 78%. Those other 22% are no doubt the reason most of us are so against the idea.

Number one response across America this morning to CNN’s announcement of their cancellation of Piers Morgan’s prime time show. “Piers Morgan HAD a prime time show?

NASCAR musings.

From T.C.  “Kazakhstan finished last in the medal count with 1 bronze at Sochi. Richard Petty said they would have won it all if no one else showed up.”

From Gary M.  “Richard Petty has accepted Tony Stewart’s challenge to race Danica Patrick. At 76, it’ll be interesting to see what wears out first: Richard or his turn signal.”


Plane crazy.

December 7, 2011

Alec Baldwin was kicked off a plane today at LAX, and later tweeted “Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving.” Two thoughts, if he’s going to be that much of an a** Baldwin should buy his own plane, and there are advantages to being a luddite – I don’t even know how to play WORDS W FRIENDS on my phone.

Wonder how long until someone will start marketing books and paper Sudokos crossword puzzles as “inflight entertainment you don’t have to turn off.”

Apparently Baldwin lost his temper too, and yelled at the flight attendant. Maybe she reminded him of his daughter?

Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate if he were playing “Angry Birds?”

The “Over-Under” in Las Vegas for the Alabama-LSU game is 39. Is that Alabama 3, LSU 9?

The Kraft Fight Hunger bowl will pit two fired coaches – Ron Zook of Illinois and Rick Neuheisel of UCLA – against each other. Though both coaches has handsome enough severance packages that neither will be worrying about food stamps.

NFL analysts still talking about the Dallas Cowboys’ failure to call one of their time outs at the end of the game. (It would have given them an extra play to go for a shorter field goal or even a chance for a touchdown.) Where’s Chris Webber when you need him?

The Big East has announced their new members for 2013. Boise State, SMU, Central Florida, and…. San Diego State. Really? San Diego isn’t even in Eastern California. (Though it is east of San Francisco and Los Angeles.)

Maybe San Diego State was added to make Boise State feel more Eastern.

The NFL has suspended Washington Redskins tight end Fred Davis and left tackle Trent Williams four games each for violating the league’s substance abuse policy. Guess the league didn’t buy the players’ excuse, that playing for a Dan Snyder team would drive anyone in their right mind to drugs.

A new planet has been discovered that has the potential to support life. Or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof – like Mitt Romney.

From Marc Ragovin: “Newt Gingrich said he’s gonna mop the floor with his fellow contenders at the next GOP debate. Well actually he said he’d get some poor ten-year to do it.”

The latest Gallup poll of GOP presidential contenders has Jon Huntsman at one percent. Guess that SNL appearance really boosted his candidacy.

Rick Santorum now says that he is against gay marriage because if it were legal then “their sexual activity” would be seen as “equal” to heterosexual sexuality. Uh, how exactly does he know it isn’t?

Turns out two passengers sustained minor injuries in Ndamukong Suh’s car crash this past weekend. One described him as “going so fast, it was violent.” Bet that’s the last time anyone riding with Suh tells him to “step on it.”

An 85 year old woman is complaining she was strip-searched at JFK airport. You would think TSA would be more respectful of United’s First Class flight attendants.

Yet another accuser has come forward against Jerry Sandusky. At this point it looks like the only chance the formerly revered Penn State coach has to be acquitted is to hold the trial in Los Angeles.