Posted tagged ‘Abercrombie Fitch jokes’

Football and other felonies?

August 18, 2011

Michele Bachmann said when she is President she will make gas prices come down under two dollars a gallon. Which means Ben Bernanke soon won’t be the only person Texas Governor Rick Perry will accuse of being treasonous.

from Marc Ragovin: After Rick Perry accused Ben Bernanke of treasonous conduct, Karl Rove said that you just don’t make that kind of charge against the Fed Chairman. “You save it for the President,” according to Rove.

The University of Miami just hired football coach Al Golden in December, and already the program is potentially facing the “death penalty.” If the NCAA moves fast enough Golden’s tenure could rival that of George O’Leary at Notre Dame.

Although under investigation, the University of Miami says they have no plans to suspend any current players. Translation, unless the NCAA decries otherwise, expect suspensions – but not starting until after whatever bowl game the Hurricanes play in ths year.

Panthers coach Ron Rivera says Cam Newton will start Friday night’s preseason game for Carolina against the Miami Dolphins. Rivera allegedly also told his rookie QB to relax and pretend it’s just another college game, albeit with a pay cut.

A major league baseball player was placed on the disabled list this week with a shoulder strain that he aggravated by sleeping on it. And shockingly to San Francisco fans, this player is not a member of the Giants. (It was Orioles’ first baseman Chris Davis.)

Goldstar, an online ticket site, has been offering discount tickets to the 49ers-Raiders preseason game this upcoming weekend. Wonder how much they would have to pay fans to fill up the stadium.

Reports have it that Best Buy ordered 270,000 HP Touchpads and they have sold only 25,000. The most common reaction to this story? “What’s an HP Touchpad?”

Regarding that Giants-Mets trade of Zach Wheeler to Carlos Beltran, is it too late to invoke California’s “Lemon Law?”

Last year, Ohio State’s president Gordon Gee mocked the “Little Sisters of the Poor” by accusing other universities of playing them in football. Today he toured a home for the elderly operated by the religious order in Ohio, and promised to be one of their “greatest advocates.”

Then Gee did add that if the sisters had any room on their 2012-13 schedules, he’d love to arrange a game with the Buckeyes.

Abercrombie & Fitch is offering “The Situation” money to stop wearing its clothing. Think the Giants can do that with Barry Zito?

A recent poll shows 79% of Americans give an “A” or “B” grade to the public school their oldest child attends, but only 17% gave an “A” or “B” grade to public schools in the nation as a whole.” This is the same great logic that has had Americans so negative about Congress while consistently re-electing their own representatives.