Archive for November 2019

It’s all relative.

November 21, 2019

RIP, Jake Burton Carpenter, 65, of cancer. Apparently Carpenter was known as the “soul of snowboarding.” Now 65 seems younger than it used to. But still hard to imagine that a pioneer snowboarder was that old.

Cowboys-Patriots tickets on Stubhub Sunday at Gillette Stadium  START at $236 plus fees. Meanwhile for Lions-Redskins tickets at Fed Exp Field the lowest price is $9.  Is Washington charging that or paying it?

To be fair, after a week watching Jim Jordan and Devin Nunes in the morning, it doesn’t seem QUITE as bad to listen to Joe Buck.

 

In 2020, bet on a spike in the number of baby girls in America born and named “Fiona.” 

Meanwhile can anyone imagine how a woman member of Congress would be treated if she showed up dressed as sloppily and shouted as loudly as Jim Jordan?

Benjamin Netanyahu has just been indicted on bribery and fraud charges. Wonder if he will try to hire Jim Jordan to scream in his defense?

I’m so old I can remember when we didn’t have a President who referred to members of the other party as ‘human scum.”

Seriously? OANN, the network who Trump turns to when Fox News isn’t subservient enough is tweeting things “Why are there so many non-US-born people working in our Intel and State Department?” Uh, for that matter, why is POTUS sleeping with a non-US-born woman?

If Trump shot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue GOP House members on a jury would not just want the case dismissed, they’d want to file claims against the victim’s estate.

#LetTulsiSpeak is trending. Shouldn’t it be “Пусть говорит Тулси?”

Ivanka Trump tweeted ” A decline of public morals in the United States will probably be marked by the abuse of the power of impeachment as a means of crushing political adversaries or ejecting them from office.” Alexis de Tocqueville, 1835

Hey Ivanka, here’s a better Alexis de Tocqueville quote “The greatness of America lies not in being more enlightened than any other nation, but rather in her ability to repair her faults.”

Fault repair coming November 3, 2020.

All of these GOP House members bending over backwards to protect Trump. Aren’t they seeing in real time how Donald repays that loyalty when people are no longer useful to him?

Mighty fallen.

November 21, 2019

Who’d a thunk struggling NBA teams would be thinking this sentence in 2019? – “At least we’re not the Warriors.”


Steve Kerr after losing by 48 to the Mavericks tonight. With a few break we could have only lost by 42.

Must say, guessing no one has ever walked off a debate stage and sent an email to supporters saying “Please donate. I need it, because I had a really rough night.”

Several little intermissions in tonight’s Democratic Debate.  Did the older candidates need potty breaks?

Tulsi talked during debate about treating each other with respect. Right, starting with the respectful way Gabbard has talked about other Democrats?

As Biden reminded us these impeachment hearings focus on Trump trying to keep him from being the nominee, have to wonder, who else is Donald bribing and threatening people for dirt on?

Who had “punch” at domestic violence being Joe Biden’s first big gaffe of the night?

“Study the long term use of marijuana?” Joe Biden, seriously? Aren’t many baby boomers already a study in the long term use of marijuana?

Cory Booker to Joe Biden on not wanting to legalize marijuana “I thought you might have been high when you said it.”

Cory Booker to Pete Buttigieg,  “And I happen to be the other Rhodes scholar candidate on this stage.” Nice and true line.

 (Interestingly enough, no woman could be a Rhodes scholar until 1977.)

Good on Kamala Harris for calling out Tulsi Gabbard for not really being a Democrat. Next will Kamala go after Bernie?

Every woman who’s ever been in the workplace or political arena who is watching debate tonight knows that Amy Klobuchar was right about gender.

Andrew Yang sticking up for Tom Steyer. How nice that the millionaire defends the billionaire.

 

Now it’s Mike Pompeo who is reportedly planning to resign, possibly to run for Senate. The Trumptanic lifeboats are filling up.

DNA results show Hunter Biden, 49, fathered a child born in August 2018, with a now 28 year old woman. Well, by modern GOP standards does this make Hunter if not Joe truly Presidential?

So Trump would use the Henry II defense except that one, he doesn’t know history. two, it didn’t really work for the King of England. “Will no one rid me of this turbulent Biden?”

Does listening to Jim Jordan give anyone else a headache?

How long until  Fox News decides to move away from the impeachment hearings and just show a retrospective on Hillary’s emails?

Wonder how many millennials are asking their parents about John Dean today?

 

Only one US Carrier to Brussels tonight from DC, United 950 leaving from Dulles. Imagining the flight attendant asking Ambassador Gordon Sondland “So would you like a drink before departure?”

Starting but not sticking to sports.

November 20, 2019

 

A bit of sports, seven interceptions for Philip Rivers in two games. If only there was a semi-competent free agent quarterback available for the Chargers.

Miami Dolphins waived RB Mark Walton for allegedly striking a woman who was pregnant with his baby.  Walton had served 2 of 4 game suspension for violating NFL conduct policy related to his THREE offseason arrests between January-March 2020.   The Dolphins had signed him after Bengals released him.

Miami GM Chris Grief “We hold our players to a high standard and take these matters very seriously.” And Grief said it with a straight face.

Donald and Melania Trump re-registered today to vote in Florida instead of New York. He does realize this means he needs to spend 50% or more of the year there, right, which is more than every winter?

WTF of the day? A movie studio exec apparently wanted Julia Roberts to play Harriet Tubman. So did an executive also want Denzel Washington to play Mr. Rogers?

A small point, but GOP seems so upset about Lt. Col Vindman testifying in his dress uniform, even though rules say says all personnel “will wear an Army uniform when on duty, unless granted an exception by the commander to wear civilian clothes.”
Now, who gave Jim Jordan an exemption to keep his jacket off?

 

 

Rewatching Lt. Colonel Alexander Vindman’s opening statement from Tuesday, who’s with me in wishing we had someone more like him as President?

 

Yes, Tom Steyer has put a lot of money into good causes. And now he says “I alone can fix it.” Not very often I think “If only someone were like the Koch Brothers.” But at least they were practical enough to use THEIR money to get other people elected.

 

One of the many bizarre things about the Ukraine deal. While Joe Biden was my first choice in 2016, he is not my first choice now, mostly for age-related reasons.
But whoever your candidate, is there really anyone on either side of aisle who really thinks Joe is in politics for money, and is anything other than a good and decent man?

Upon further review…

November 18, 2019

As increasing allegations of cheating emerge against Houston Astros, Trump may be thinking he invited the wrong team to the White House.

Four interceptions for Philip Rivers tonight against Chiefs… On a brighter note, since game was in Mexico City maybe the Chargers QB couldn’t understand all the heckling and insults.

Tom Brady says he is “frustrated” with the Patriots offense.  Fans of 29 other teams  -“Thoughts and prayers.”

Trump is holding his next vanity rally in Sunrise, Florida. And local sports fans are going “Okay, please just mention the Dolphins instead of the Heat. The Dolphins are already losers.” #ETTD

Walmart saying today’s “shooting was an isolated incident that occurred in the parking lot. Nothing occurred inside the store.” So just another day for our well-regulated militia.

Nikki Haley says Donald Trump was always truthful with her. Well, and guessing there were many people who said Jeffrey Dahmer never tried to eat them.

Wonder if Hillary Clinton had told Congress she would “strongly consider” testifying in the Benghazi investigation.

Since Trump loves to call them “Do Nothing Democrats” surely the man who claimed he’d run into a school unarmed to face a killer isn’t afraid to face House Democrats in a hearing?

Never quite got the hype, but today Chick-fil-A announced it will no longer donate to anti-LGBTQ groups. So good news for tolerance. And liberal fans of chicken sandwiches.

 

If your idea of Christianity is boycotting your favorite sandwich restaurant because they’re not being intolerant enough, you might not be a real Christian. #ChickFilA

 

North Korea ” We are longer interested in such talks that bring nothing to us. As we have got nothing in return, we will no longer gift the U.S. president with something he can brag about.”
But but, I thought Donald and Kim were in love?

Trump today said he would “strongly consider” accepting Pelosi’s invitation to testify in the ongoing impeachment investigation, either in person or in writing. Right after he releases his tax returns?

A numbers game.

November 18, 2019

Another example why I don’t bet on football. 49ers leading by 4 with 2 seconds left. Cardinals have ball at their own 22. Fumble recovery for a TD. . The spread was 10.

Not a Falcons fan at all, but are people in Atlanta thrilled about the way their team has played the last two weeks? Or furious that it took them until week 10 to show up?

Texans WR DeAndre Hopkins called for “someone new in New York deciding calls” after pretty obvious case of pass interference against Ravens Marlon Humphrey wasn’t called even after replay review. Uh, could we start with full time NFL refs?

Newly re-elected Louisiana John Bel Edwards will never be my favorite politician, but he has his moments “It is an easier state to govern when the Saints and LSU are winning.”

In the midst of Trump tweet storm this morning: “Our great Farmers will recieve another major round of “cash.”
Don’t know about you but I learned “I before E except after C” in 2nd or 3rd grade.

Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg today apologized for his longtime support of “stop-and-frisk.” Gosh, I wonder what prompted this change of heart?

(and wonder if he will apologize to swing states for his soda tax ban?)

So Amy Klobuchar is still a longshot. But she has more chance of winning the Presidency than the Minnesota Vikings,, down 20-0 at halftime, had of winning Sunday against  Denver Broncos.

It was a pleasant cool Sunday in Washington DC, why wasn’t a “healthy and energetic” President golfing?

 

Jennifer Williams, who Trump attacked on Twitter Sunday for her testimony is an senior aide to Mike Pence. So why isn’t the Vice President standing up for his staff?

As Trump rants on Twitter about not knowing impeachment witnesses and the Dems interviewing only people who weren’t involved with his calls, your reminder that Donald won’t let anyone who HAS actually talked to him testify.

So how long does Trump have to stay out of sight before serious rumors start circulating about his “kidney surgery??

 

It’s not that we believe Trump and his true cult members would care about something as trivial as an oath, but that at least we would get to see them try to lie in real time.

Blew dat?

November 17, 2019

Trump went to Louisiana twice in two weeks to push his buddy Eddie Rispone for Governor, tweeted repeatedly Saturday, after saying  Friday night.   “You got to give me a big win, please. OK? OK?”

Another reason to root for New Orleans Saints. Results tonight from Orleans Parish: Republican Eddie Rispone – 13,041 votes. Democrat John Bel Edwards – 114,812 votes. Not a typo.  #WhoDat

Now it’s Golden State guard D’Angelo Russell who is out at least two weeks with a sprained right thumb. The Warriors aren’t just a team at this point ,they’re an NBA version of Survivor.

Baylor blew a 28-3 lead today in losing to Oklahoma 34-31. On a brighter note, Bears players have probably earned a 2nd look in NFL draft from the Atlanta Falcons.

Five people dead including three children in a murder-suicide in San Diego. Why can’t these a**holes do the suicide part first?

One of many rumors about Trump’s visit to Walter Reed today was that he had a heart attack. If so, how long can his staff keep him from bragging that it was the “BIGLIEST heart attack, much better than Bernie’s.”

Louisiana Gov. John Bel Edwards is anti-choice, which is difficult for me. But have never liked him more. Tonight after winning re-election: “As for the president, God bless his heart.”

Every time CNN  puts Rick Santorum on can they at least air the disclaimer that he lost his re-election campaign by 18 points?

And if you think you had a hard week, thoughts and prayers for SNL writers, who had to try to compress all the events of past several days into ONE cold open.

Asked about Trump’s twitter attacks while Ambassador Yovanowitch was testifying. GOP Rep.Elise Stefanik replied “We’re not here to talk about tweets.”
Even when those tweets were themselves an impeachable offense? #witnessintimidation

If this cellphone call with Sondland turns out to be the smoking gun in impeachment hearings, well, politics aside, maybe mean bitch Karma is one of us who are driven crazy by obnoxious people who talk loudly on their cellphones in restaurants.

Ugh, nobody does part of an annual physical early. Period. That’s why they call them annual physicals.

 

And I’m only 60, but at what point does a “routine physical” include cognitive testing? Asking for a country. 

As Trump ranted about conviction of Roger Stone, your reminder that Stone was not convicted by House Democrats but by a JURY.

 

Finally,  if we told Jim Jordan that Donald Trump had been a college wrestler would Jordan finally stop trying to protect him?

Footbrawl

November 15, 2019

Yikes, watching Steelers vs  Browns tonight on Thursday Night Football and a WWE fight broke out.

Although before Cleveland’s Miles Garrett hit Pittsburgh QB Mason Rudolph with his own helmet, the story of night might have been Rudolph’s performance putting Mike Tomlin rushing to Atlanta to see Colin Kaepernick’s workout Saturday.

Memphis just declared projected #1 NBA draft pick James Wiseman ineligible. So wonder where Wiseman will play to keep in shape before he ends up chosen by the Warriors?

Nothing against Deval Patrick, but you’re watching the Indy 500 you don’t get to go “Oh, none of those drivers is driving fast enough, I think I’ll jump in on lap 100.”

A little good news, Matt Bevin has conceded to Andy Beshear in Kentucky Gubernatorial Race. How long until Bevin accepts a job in Trump administration?

Kellyanne Conway, after Wolf Blitzer asked about her husband’s comments on Trump. “I think you embarrassed yourself and I’m embarrassed for you. This is CNN now?”
Actually the most embarrassing thing for CNN? Still having Kellyanne on the network.

 

Apparently today’s school shooter used every bullet in his handgun. Now, California has tough gun laws, imagine if he’d been able to get an automatic weapon….

Pence-“Administration will remain resolved to bring scourge of mass shootings to an end, we will not rest until we end this evil in our time & make our schools & communities safe again.” Translation, going to do absolutely nothing & hope outrage will die down before the next one.

As Trump rants about “Do Nothing Democrats” your reminder that Senate Republicans blocked even a VOTE on sensible bipartisan gun control bills

Rand Paul just said he’s considering forcing votes on motions in impeachment trial allowing Trump to bring his own witnesses, like Hunter Biden. Since “hearsay” is THE Republican defense, how about forcing some witnesses who WERE actually talking to Trump?

Small mercies,  Trump headed down to Louisiana for another vanity rally. Good thing for New Orleans that at least he didn’t go for a Saints game.  #ETTD

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Trump referred tonight to “Radical Liberal John Bel Edwards.” “Radical Liberal?” Look, I really hope Louisiana Governor John Bel Edwards gets re-elected, but in many ways he’s to the right of GOP Governors Charlie Baker and Larry Hogan.