Archive for July 2019

After midnight

July 24, 2019

If SF Giants weren’t doing this regularly after midnight, or 1am, or 2am, on the East Coast they’d be the biggest story in sports.

On trade talk. “I don’t care about that. Nobody in here cares about it . We’re trying to win games, we are winning games and that’s all that matters is us. That other stuff’s just noise.”  Madison Bumgarner.

 

Meanwhile in Los Angeles, they’ve announced at least $100 million renovation of Dodger Stadium this off-season.  They’re not saying how much this will affect stadium prices but reports are beer may be offered on the installment plan.

 

Forever 21 apparently gives free samples in online orders. And apparently some plus-sized clothing orders included Free Atkins diet bars. Forget firing whoever okayed this for body-shaming, fire them for stupidity.

The Rolling Stones are trying to eliminate single-use cups at their concerts. But really at their age, shouldn’t all drinks be served in sippy cups?

Tulsi Gabbard said in a Fox Sports Radio interview today that Kamala Harris “is not qualified to serve as commander in chief.” Some statements don’t even need a punchline.

Rand Paul and Mike Lee were the only two senators who voted today against reauthorizing the 9/11 Victims Compensation Fund. Well at least Lee and Paul are also campaigning tirelessly to stop Trump’s extravagant rallies and golf weekends. Oh wait. Never mind.

Can bartenders start calling Stoli and orange juice a “Donald Trump” – an Orange Russian?

 

Suspect has been arrested in the murder of a beautiful blonde Ole Miss student this weekend. We already know he’s a white American since Trump hasn’t tweeted about it.

After he said the country could be “wiped off the face of the earth, Afghanistan has demanded USA clarify remarks made by Donald Trump, Nice try, Americans know Trump won’t even clarify remarks he makes about the US itself.

For someone who claimed Mueller Report was “total exoneration”  Trump sure seems triggered by the Mueller Hearing.

 

Let’s be real. If Mueller says FBI had a signed contract and video showing Trump and Putin agreeing to fix election, Trump cult members would say it was for our own good and Hillary should still be locked up. 

Smoke and fog and mirrors

July 22, 2019

Officially the best team in baseball since June 1. Just as all SF Giants fans expected.

 

Tigers outfielder Nicholas Castellanos isn’t happy with Comerica Park. “This park’s a joke. It’s to the point where, how are we going to be compared to the rest of the people in the league for power numbers, OPS, slugging and all this stuff when we got a yard out here that’s 420 feet straight across in center field?”
Guessing Castellanos is never EVER signing with SF Giants.

One of the truly bizarre little side stories of SF Giants recent run, Mike Yastrzemski, who has 9 home runs including yesterday’s game winner, was DFA’ed this year…. by the ORIOLES.

 

One reporter from the Daily Beast wrote an admittedly stupid (IMHO) piece attacking Mariano Rivera for his “far-right” views, and Fox is going non-linear.
I missed their free-speech defense when many on their own network and other conservative writers attacked Megan Rapinoe.

(or as a friend says “any black football player.”)

So “Michael Bennett” is trending and it’s the Falcons football player, who was injured, not the Democratic Presidential candidate, who has not dropped out.  Guessing most Americans wouldn’t recognize either one.

Tim Duncan has joined the Spurs coaching staff.  (Yeah!)   So someone has told him this will require actual occasional talking?

My son points out that Becky Hammon is now the top assistant Spurs coach and 1st in line to take over if Popovich gets ejected.   He figures Pop does it during a nationally televised game some time this year to make history.

So as ICE now will try to circumvent courts and deport immigrants without a hearing perhaps they should raid known employment offenders like European model agencies?

Trump says he could wipe Afghanistan off face of the Earth but doesn’t want to kill 10,000,000 people.
Besides, by ignoring opioids, guns, safety regulations & climate change, not to mention taking away healthcare, he can kill that many people right here at home.

Searching for…?

July 21, 2019

Conner Menez throws 5 strong innings and Zack Green gets 2 hits plus RBI in their Major League debuts; rookie Mike Yastrzemski wins game with walk-off home run. So explain to me why SF Giants need to trade for prospects?

 

Whatever happens this season, at least the 2019 SF Giants are fun again.

Someone at Bleacher Report came up with a “Top 25 QBs of all Time,” and not only had  Alex Smith at #25, they had Aaron Rodgers at #18 just ahead of Tony Romo at #19 and  Kurt Warner at #10 ahead of Drew Brees #11. Who came up with this list?  And were they also officiating the 2019 NFC Championship?

Former LSU football player Matt Branch lost his leg last year in a freak hunting accident when his dog jumped on his gun causing it to discharge.  Now apparently he’s going to go hunting again.  Thinking as long as Branch has a gun  it’s not a fair fight even if what he hunts has all its legs.

KC Chiefs star WR Tyreek Hill in 2014 pleaded guilty to domestic assault and battery by strangulation for hitting and choking his pregnant girlfriend. In March 2019 he was accused of battery again, against his 4 year old son, and was heard in a recording saying “You need to be terrified of me, too, dumb b— ”
NFL announced Sunday Hill would not be suspended . Yet again, the league policy for stars ” At least 7 strikes until you’re out.”

Whether or not they agree with ESPN’s Dan Le Batard who criticized Trump over the Send Her Back chants, shouldn’t conservatives be defending his right to free speech?

So as a liberal hearing all the “if you don’t like it leave” comments from Trumpers, I have a question. What country did you like best when you left during the Obama presidency?

Trump’s racist misogynist tweet about the 4 congresswomen who upset him so much “They are destroying the Democrat Party, but are weak & insecure people who can never destroy our great Nation! Once again, Freud NAILS projection.

And Boris Johnson joined the chorus of European leaders condemning Trump’s racist comments.  Uh oh, another bromance bites the dust.

 

Liz Cheney says send her back” chant against Ilhan Omar was inappropriate but claims “This isn’t about race. It’s not about gender. It’s not about religion” Right, like Liz’s refusal to denounce anti-Obama birthers wasn’t about any of those things either.

So if your most extreme members most accurately represent your party that must mean the entire GOP is against funding 9-11 First Responders Compensation Fund because Rand Paul blocked it.

.500

July 19, 2019

 

MLB’s Jon Heyman said Giants have “pulled back” on trade talks for Madbum to the Yankees. Now, of course I’d love to see SF get the wild card, but if this streak keeps Bumgarner out of pinstripes I will be happy.

I know that’s not how official scoring works but for nine innings of 1 run ball Madison Bumgarner really should have gotten last night’s SF Giants 16 inning win.

 


SF Giants scored 11 runs on Wednesday,  NY Mets scored 14.  Since then Giants have scored 4,  Mets 2,  In two games.

After missing the cut in the British Open, Tiger Woods says “I just want to go home.”  Along no doubt with many fans who flew over and bought tickets just to watch him and stars like Rory McIlroy play.

James Harden says he’s going to work on a new move “It’s gonna look like a travel but it’s not”
So why will it not be a travel? Because Harden says so?

And somewhere Michael Jordan is just giggling.

 

Okay, seriously, if you asked those MAGAers chanting “send her home” what an “anti-Semite” was, what percentage of them do you think could correctly answer?

Trump administration apparently is revising the citizenship test. No word on exactly what changes are. My question – could Donald himself pass it?

You think you’re having a bad day. Imagine being the Prime Minister of Sweden awaiting a call from Donald Trump trying to get Kanye West’s friend out of jail.

Beam me up Scotty…. Now I got the email from Trump campaign manager. “I’m so over paper straws, and I’m sure you are too. Much like most liberal ideas, paper straws don’t work and they fall apart instantly.
That’s why we just launched our latest product – Official Trump Straws.
Now you can finally be free from liberal paper straws that fall apart within minutes and ruin your drink.
Trump Straws are custom made with the Official Trump Logo, recyclable and reusable, and, as always, 100% MADE IN AMERICA.
Get your Official Trump Straws TODAY to show liberals that you won’t let their overregulation ruin your beverage consumption experience any longer.”

Power outage?

July 18, 2019

Great pitching from SF Giants tonight, but on the first day back from road trip have to ask –  Did the airline lose their bats?

Madison Bumgarner threw nine innings today for SF Giants. That SHOULD count as a complete game.

Jim Harbaugh – “Urban Meyer’s had a winning record. Really phenomenal record everywhere he’s been. But also, controversy follows everywhere he’s been.”

Uh, whether or not you like Harbaugh, he’s right.

T.S. Eliot is listed in the credits for “Cats” movie. Bringing to mind another of his quotes. – “Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm. But the harm does not interest them.”

Florida headline of the day. Five guys were arrested after a fist fight at…wait for it, Five Guys.
If only they were armed.

Top Gun 2 trailer is out. Now Maverick is riding into the danger zone with his left blinker on.

The shocking thing about Jeffrey Epstein being denied bail is not that he deserves to stay in prison, but that as rich and well-connected as he is, the judge did the right thing.

Trump campaign selling “Trump Straws – Pack of 10
$15.00 “Liberal paper straws don’t work. STAND WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP and buy your pack of recyclable straws today. Reusable & Recyclable Made in USA”
Happened to check Ebay, 200 recyclable plastic straws for $5.59.
Trump claims liberals think his supporters are stupid. He’s the one who acts like they are.

Not saying Trump supporters are clueless but they’d chant “Send her Back” about Pocahontas.

Trump nominates Gene Scalia, son of former Supreme Court Judge Antonin Scalia, as his new Secretary of Labor. But remind me again of all those who didn’t vote for Hillary because they were tired of a few families running things in Washington?

Trump’s EPA today ruled to keep using chlorpyrifos, a pesticide previously banned by Obama administration because of studies showing it damages the brains of fetuses and children.
Must not make “brain damage” equals future GOP voter jokes….

Lindsey Graham – “if you’re a Somali refugee wearing a MAGA cap, [Trump] doesn’t want to send you back”
So you mean all immigrants need to get asylum at the border is to show up wearing MAGA hats?

Buyers and sellers

July 17, 2019

Apparently Oklahoma City Thunder are having a hard time trading Chris Paul. And who’d a thunk teams might not be willing to take on a 34 year old injury-prone point guard with a remaining 3 year, $124 million contract?

Maddest fans about SF Giants hot streak over the last 6 weeks are probably not those of the teams they have passed in the Wild Card hunt, but those who were planning on picking up top players at fire sale prices.

As fans now debate if SF Giants should trade Madison Bumgarner looks like they might be adding a very good pitcher next month – Johnny Cueto close to making a rehab start.

 Apparently Big Baller brand merchandise was available at a Los Angeles volleyball tournament at drastically reduced prices, starting at $5 for an $50 t-shirt, leading to speculation that Lavar Ball’s promotional empire might be crumbling.

“That’s so sad,” said nobody.

Eric Trump says “95% of Americans agree with my father.”
Uh, Eric, I’m not sure 95% of Americans agree on anything. Except maybe that Hannah was right to dump Luke in the Bachelorette. And that you are definitely the stupid one.

After playing golf this week with Trump, Rand Paul just blocked a vote on extending fund for 9/11 first responders because he said it would add to US debt.
Where’s the GoFundMe page for legal expenses for Rand Paul’s neighbor?

So how many medical bills for 9/11 first responders could we have covered for the cost of Donald Trump’s 4th of July masturbatory fantasy? Asking for a country.

Trump today at his Carolina hate rally. about  Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez:  – “I don’t have time to go with three different names. We’ll call her Cortez. Too much time. Takes too much time.”

Translation, he can’t even REMEMBER her name. And how hard is it to remember AOC anyway?

Now self-described good Christian and bible-lover Trump has retweeted John Kennedy’s calling congresswomen the “four horsewomen of the Apocalypse.” So can some reporter just ask him his interpretation of the original biblical reference?

Based on last few days guessing Trump hard-core supporters will be unhappy with USA electing a Democrat in 2020 and want to leave. So which countries might accept them as refugees?

Giant attitude?

July 16, 2019

Yeah, it’s a REALLY big long shot, I get it. But when a team gets to within 3 other teams and 3 games of the wild card….

Are some Mets fans also saying “So you’re saying there’s a chance?”

 

You know the wild card insanity is reaching the edge of reality when you see Phillies beat Dodgers with 9th inning walkoff and as SF fan you have to think, okay, great, but Philadelphia is a more realistic target….

 

Kevin Durant now says he was sold on the Nets’ “system.” Right a system that has produced so many winning teams in the past?

WNBA suspended Los Angeles’ Sparks’ Riquna Williams for 10 games as a result of a domestic violence incident involving her ex-girlfriend in December. This is not the equality women’s sports really wanted.

Congratulation to “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,’ has 20 Emmy nominations. The most for any show without a high body count.

Since John Paul Stevens criticized Trump imagine we won’t be hearing any condolences from the White House.

Nancy Pelosi quoted a former Democratic president today: “If we ever close the door to new Americans, our leadership in the world would soon be lost.” Oh wait, my bad, the quote is accurate. But it’s from Ronald Reagan.

Who’d a thunk we’d miss George H.W.Bush talking about his grandchildren, “the little brown ones?”

Trump tweets “I don’t have a Racist bone in my body! ” True. Not a Racist bone.  More like 206 of them.

We know Trump isn’t racist because he’s also told former rival Ted Cruz to go back to Canada, and Marco Rubio to go back to Cuba. Oh wait, never mind.

Mitch McConnell sidestepped question on how he would feel if someone told his wife Elaine Chao to go back to Taiwan; it barely made news cycle I’m old enough to remember Michael Dukakis maybe losing election over mishandling death penalty question on if his wife were murdered.

If there are pictures of Trump with an under-age girl in Epstein’s safe how many Republicans will vote to condemn him?