Archive for March 18, 2016

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Who needs numbers anyway?

March 18, 2016

So will the DVD of the 2016 Men’s Basketball Tournament be titled “The Bad Seeds” ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

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Looking like the folks who seeded the NCAA tournament were about as good at their jobs as the Michigan Democratic pollsters who had that big win for Hillary.

 

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Oops. ‪#‎marchmadness‬ headline  “Las Vegas SuperBook Has Michigan State As Favorite To Win NCAA Tournament”

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Only thing that could have saved ‪#‎MichiganState‬ today was a ‪#‎JimHarbaugh‬ punt. ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

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Many thought ‪#‎MichiganState‬ should have had a #1 seed. So would they have lost to #16 seed ‪#‎Hampton‬ too? ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

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Even ‪#‎MiddleTennesseeState‬ alums didn’t have them winning this game. ‪#‎MichiganState‬ ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

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Happy 2nd round of March Madness.  That morning when millions  of Americans wake up and realize their retirement plan will not include millions made on betting the perfect bracket.

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73-67 ‪#‎Warriors‬ over ‪#‎Mavericks‬ at halftime. Did someone decide to play by ‪#‎NBA‬ All-Star Game rules and not tell us?

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This kid clearly wants to be drafted by the Spurs and Gregg Popovich. Or at least Pop wants him as his media spokesman: Baylor’s Taurean Prince, asked after their upset loss how the Bears were out-rebounded by Yale. “You grab it with two hands, and you come down with it, and that’s considered a rebound. So they got more of those than we did.”

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The Colts are going to retire Peyton Maning’s #18 and build him a statue. But before it’s installed the Broncos are interested in seeing if the statue can lead them to another Super Bowl win.

 

Chicago White Sox star pitcher Chris Sale says the team is demanding a meeting with chariman Jerry Reinsdorf over Adam LaRoche’s retirement and executive V.P Ken Williams “bold-faced” lying to players.
Remember the good old days when the White Sox’s biggest problem was Ozzie Guillen shooting off his mouth?

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Former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is seriously ill and in the hospital with cancer. Wishing him the best. Hard to realize now but there was a time not that long ago when Ford might have been the brashest, loudest and most politically-incorrect politician in North America.

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Hulk Hogan won $115 million in a lawsuit after Gawker published a sex tape of him with his (then) best-friend’s wife. Now that’s the kind of combination of money and family values that might get Hogan an offer of a place in a Trump cabinet.

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On brighter note, ‪#‎MittRomney‬‘s awful 2012 Presidential campaign is no longer the most embarrassing performance out of Michigan. ‪#‎MichiganState‬

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Sad news that Ravens CB Troy Walker, 23, has died after an accident on a dirt bike, when he was apparently riding in dark clothing at night without lights and collided with a car. Proving alas that with all the dangers in the world, high up there is testosterone poisoning.

 

 

FOX News is slamming Donald Trump for his vitriolic attacks against Megyn Kelly and his extreme, sick obsession with her.” FOX thinks such vitriol and obsession should be reserved for Hillary Clinton.

Categories: GOP jokes, March madness jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
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Start chilling that wine….

March 18, 2016

 

#‎Duke‬ vs ‪#‎Yale‬ for a ‪#‎SweetSixteen‬ berth. Most of America will find this as appealing as a choice between ‪#‎Trump‬ and ‪#‎Cruz‬ ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

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But really, Yale vs. Duke?   Hope the  Dunkin’ Donuts Center in Providence sends out a rush order for extra chardonnay.

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North Carolina started 2nd half on a 22-6 run after being basically tied with Florida Gulf Coast at halftime. Did coach Roy Williams remind the Tarheels at halftime that no one may remember who wins in any given year, but being the first #1 seed to lose to a #16 would be forever.

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Nice for the kids playing in early March Madness games today. They got to relax and watch players their dad’s age kicking the crap out of the Trail Blazers. #Spurs

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Sorry, when a #9 beats an #8 you do not get to crow all day about picking an upset in your bracket. ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

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Seriously, does ‪#‎Butler‬ EVER lose in the first round? ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

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So I no longer have a perfect bracket, but I did figure out the channel for TruTV.  #smallvictories.

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MLB has announced Yasiel Puig will not be disciplined for an November alleged domestic violence incident involving his sister at a Miami nightclub. Is it too soon to start a pool on the date of Puig’s next incident?

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A U.S. college student has been sentenced to 15 years hard labor in North Korea for stealing a propaganda poster of Kim Jong Il from a restricted area at a hotel. So really, is he being sentenced for the theft or for the stupidity?

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Anonymous has decided to release Donald Trump’s personal information. Waiting for the Donald to demand we need to start deporting all hackers. ‪#‎thiscouldbefun‬

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Laura Bush, after talking about isolationism and xenophobia then told a reporter “‘Don’t ask’ if I’ll vote for Trump.” Hmm, maybe SHE’s the smart one in the family.

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As if you needed more reason not to go to Carl’s Jr., whose founder was staunchy anti-choice and anti-gay, the CEO has he wants to open a completely automated restaurant with no human employees. Well, makes sense, most actual humans don’t want to eat there either.

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Chip Kelly on Colin Kaepernick “If he’s here on April 4 we’re going to coach the heck out of him, and he’s going to work his (tail) off.”
Sounds like Kelly is behind Kap 1,000%. ‪#‎ifyougetthisreferenceyoumightbeold‬

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Sarah Palin said her husband is still in intensive care but she is “so thankful for today’s medical technology including 3-D X-rays, temporary pain blocks and epidurals. I’m voting for their continued use…” But of course Palin can’t wait to get back on the road to campaign against Obamacare.

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Many in the GOP love to quote “the Biden rule” about approving a Supreme Court Judge. But one, Biden was talking about a judge deliberately retiring to allow a president to pick another younger justice with the same views, and two, this was in 1992, and Biden said “before the political season is underway.” As if in 2016 the “political season’ ever stops.

 

 

Marco Rubio says he’s not interested in running for V.P. in 2016. Translation, maybe he can’t stand Trump or Cruz any more than many of us.

Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, March madness jokes, Uncategorized
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Comments: 3 Comments