Shirley, you can’t be serious.

For any fans of the movie “Airplane”, Ryan Braun has now certainly done his part to keep that pamphlet thin. (In one scene a woman asks for light reading, and the flight attendant responds “How about this leaflet, “Famous Jewish Sports Legends?”)

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Matt Kemp, the runner-up for NL MVP in 2011, thinks Ryan Braun should be stripped of the award. Meaning either that Kemp is clean, or if he IS taking something, he thinks he’s smarter than Braun.

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Remember the days when A-Rod was going to be the “clean” guy who broke Bonds’ home run record? ‪#‎Seligfail‬

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Much hand wringing over the PED situation in baseball, especially by those who feel that artificial enhancement sets a bad example for children. Why, some parents are deciding to avoid games for a while and instead take the children to see movies featuring their favorite Hollywood stars.

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Taco Bell said they are discontinuing kid’s meals. What a bummer for all those parents driving around with children in the car at 2am because they couldn’t get a babysitter.

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Willie Mays – 660 home runs. A-Rod – 647 home runs. Wonder what kind of odds you could have gotten a few years ago that Mays would have kept his lifetime lead over Rodriguez?

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Eliot Spitzer’s first TV ad in his run for NY comptroller “Look – I failed. Big time.” Will his second ad be “But at least I’m not as big a flaming a**hole as Anthony Weiner?

Two from my friend Marc Ragovin: “Now I know the Anthony Weiner scandal is serious: Bud Selig just suspended him for the remainder of the campaign season.” And “More incidents of raunchy sexting by Anthony Weiner have surfaced. Some pols are great at making a campaign a public forum. Weiner is great at making it the Penthouse Forum.”

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From my friend Abbe Nelson “These grown men with their “Smart” phones do some really dumb shit with them.”

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The Florida state attorney’s office has dismissed charges against Gator LB linebacker Antonio Morrison, who was arrested last weekend after allegedly barking at a police dog and resisting arrest. Let me guess, the state attorney is not a FSU grad.

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A report is that Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian “want to quit” reality television. Promise?

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Iowa Rep. Steve King, who famously said last year that he never heard of anyone getting pregnant from statutory rape or incest, today proved that he’s not just anti-woman. Speaking against the Dream Act “For everyone who’s a valedictorian there’s another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert. Those people would be legalized with the same act.”

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Despite a media frenzy, Kate and William managed to keep their baby’s birth a secret from the world for five hours. Not sure if they want a career change but whoever orchestrated that should be able to get big bucks from British or U.S. Intelligence.

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For all those reporters in London who thought they would be off baby watch… One of today’s breaking news items.. “A woman, possibly Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge’s stylist, flashed a pass that read “Palace Household” and was let inside.” Soon followed by “the car seat is in.”

Prince William today said “they’re still working on a name.” Uh, you and Kate had nine months and you only needed two choices…. ‪#‎Royalbaby‬

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This entry was posted on July 23, 2013 at 9:45 pm and is filed under baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: A-Rod jokes, Janice Hough, PED jokes, royal baby jokes, Ryan Braun jokes, Weiner jokes

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Left Coast Sports Babe