Well, it wasn’t on the warning label….

A woman was only slightly injured in Florida after she tried to preheat an oven where her friend had stored a magazine from his Glock. And when the heated magazine exploded. Forget background checks for gun owners, maybe we need to start with IQ tests.

A thought about former Surgeon General, C. Everett Koop, who just died at the age of 96, was a conservative evangelical Christian. But he supported condoms and sex education in schools to help stop the spread of AIDS. These days some in the GOP would have called for his recall.

Lindsay Lohan’s new lawyer is in trouble for sending a letter to the Santa Monica and L.A. City Attorneys claiming he is working with the prosecutor to “fix” Lindsay. “Fix Lindsay Lohan?” It would be easier to turn this into a bipartisan session of Congress.

N.J. Gov. Chris Christie today became the eighth GOP Governor who, while decrying Obamacare, decided he would accept the portion that expands Medicaid to more low-income adults in his state. So should we start a pool on who will be ninth?  (Or as my friend Linda asks, “who will be last?”)

Angels’ manager Mike Scioscia says he’s not worried about the apparent 10-15 extra pounds Mike Trout packed on in the offseason. The young man after all is still only about half a Panda.

Miss Delaware Teen USA, who just turned 18, has given up her crown after she was reportedly seen in a sex video. On the brighter side, the precocious young woman could be named an honorary Kardashian.

The California Legislative Women’s Caucus  formally complained Wednesday to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences that Seth MacFarlane’s Oscar hosting “struck a new low in its treatment of women.”    Uh oh, has anyone warned these folks about that “50 Shades” moving coming out?

(And I realize not all my women friends will agree with me here, but come on, Seth MacFarlane, what did they EXPECT?  Especially if any one’s seen “Family Guy.”  Maybe he should have also done a reprise of the SNL skit “D*ck in a box.”)

Another Oscar thought from Alex Kaseberg:  ” The Oscar show was so long, during the broadcast, Taylor Swift dated a guy, broke up with him, and then wrote and recorded a song about what a jerk he was before it was over.”

From my funny friend Jim Barach,  (this one’s for my son, Carey Schwartz.) :   “Scientists say that Mars may still be inhabitable today. After all, look at how many people are still living in New Jersey.”
Explore posts in the same categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes

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