Can you hear me now?

Apple has a lot of plans to expand Siri. Is this really the best idea? As most married women know, men may start out paying a lot of attention to a specific female voice, but over the years learn to tune it out.

Roger Clemens chose not to testify in his own defense at his trial. Had Roger just not VOLUNTEERED to testify before Congress in the first place,  think of the tiime and money that would have been saved.

So if Mitt Romney really believes the private sector does so much better a job than government workers, and he really cares about his family as much as he claims to do, why doesn’t he fire his Secret Service detail and use private security?

Inspired by Peter Woolery: In Los Angeles hockey fans are listening to “We are the Champions.” In New Jersey, it’s “Sympathy for the Devil.”

 

A tale of two cities: The population of Cleveland in 2010, 396,815, metropolitan area 2,063,283. Oklahoma City 579,999, with a metro-area population of 1,252,987. Early times in the NBA finals, but maybe size isn’t all that matters.

This summer Burger King is offering a sundae with vanilla ice cream, fudge, caramel, bacon crumbles and a piece of bacon. Where’s NY Mayor Bloomberg when we really need him?

Sleaze update of the day. Former PSU asst. coach Mike McQueary testified today about seeing Jerry Sandusky in the show with a boy who looked about 10-12 and that he heard a “skin-on-skin smacking sound.” One question for McQueary, how did you live with yourself seeing Sandusky regularly around campus after that?

Casey Anthony in a phone interview with Piers Morgan. “Obviously I didn’t kill my daughter.” “Obviously?” Well, not exactly.

But really, why did Casey Anthony choose now to do a public interview?  Was she afraid Jerry Sandusky would take her “Most Hated American” title?

Senator Harry Reid of Nevada said today that Manny Pacquiao was robbed in his match against Timothy Bradley. Wonder if this means when the government gets through with spending millions on the Clemens trial, they will go after boxing next.

Sources say an open container of alcohol was found in Lindsay Lohan’s Porsche after her accident. Maybe she figures going back to jail is cheaper than rehab?

(My friend Laura T. says “Where’s Johnny Cochran when you need him? The bottle was left in the car by someone else -if the lips don’t fit, you must acquit…”)

Rory McElroy, the U.S. Open reigning champion, did a nice job of throwing out the first pitch at tonight’s S.F. Giants game. He said he was practicing by throwing golf balls. Hmm, can anyone pick up a package of those for Tim Lincecum?

Latest MLB controversy, Tigers closer Jose Valverde allegedly throwing a spitball Sunday night against the Reds. Brings to mind Don Sutton’s great denial of putting a foreign substance on the ball: “Vaseline is manufactured right here in the United States..

The SF Giants’ 16 game home run drought at A T and T Park is over. So who had Madison Bumgarner in the pool?

At 37, Vladimir Guerrero has been released by Toronto Blue Jays and is available. Is he past his prime enough for SF Giants to sign him?,

Lindsay Graham has broken with Grover Norquist’s and his anti-tax pledge. Graham wants the U.S. to eliminate some tax deductions to get out of debt, saying that due to the country’s poor fiscal climate, the Republican party’s position must evolve. What’s more heretical to the rest of the GOP? Effectively raising taxes or talking about evolution?

Explore posts in the same categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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One Comment on “Can you hear me now?”

  1. TC Says:

    British PM David Cameron and his wife accidentally left their 8 year old daughter Nancy in a pub this week. The child was not impressed. She prefers to be left at Applebees, where at least they serve kids a mean cocktail.


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