Archive for April 8, 2012

Quick, duck behind a pearly gate?

April 8, 2012

Nervous times in heaven today, as they hear the words “Mike Wallace is here to see you.”

A number of tributes to Mike Wallace, after he died today at the age of 93. Including one from Larry King, saying that he was “a dear & wonderful friend.” And no doubt King added privately ‘And so sad, to die so young.”

The MS Balmoral cruise ship left Southampton April 8, 100 years after the RMS Titanic, with an announced plan to retrace the original route of the doomed ship. Well, one hopes not the EXACT route.

On the Balmoral and other Titanic themed cruises, they will recreate menus from the original ship. Presumably women will be encouraged not to skip dessert.

If anyone heard that the pitching-rich but offense-poor San Francisco Giants had scored 4, 4 and 6 runs in three games this weekend against the Arizona D’backs, the logical conclusion would have been that they won about two out of three at least…..

So the SF Giants’ hopes of not starting 0 and 4 rest on the left arm of… Barry Zito?!!

Yikes, Red Sox going to end up putting a keg in the bullpen after today. How do you blow a three run lead in the ninth and a two run lead in the eleventh, in the same game?

The Mets are 3-0 and the Yankees are 0-3. And today in Hell, the ice skating is great.

Tampa Bay Rays payroll at $64 million is about $4 million less than the New York Yankees are paying Texeira, A-Rod, and Jeter. Just sayin’.

With Cain and Zito, the San Francisco Giants have the best paid #3 and #4 pitchers in baseball.

Newt Gingrich said his campaign is “a little less” than $4.5 million in debt. And this is a man who is criticizing President Obama’s spending?

Masters galleries were so white I almost expected to see a GOP debate break out.

Say what you will about Tim Tebow’s sermon this morning. At least it’s nice seeing an NFL player make offseason headlines for something not involving a police press conference.

And finally, Happy Easter Monday. In some countries it’s a major holiday. In the U.S.A. it’s mostly known as “Happy Half Priced Chocolate Bunny Day.”

Hoppy Easter.

April 8, 2012

Appalling bunny on bunny violence. Happy Easter anyway.


Another Easter thought: Love may fade. But marshmallow peeps are forever.

Tim Tebow is giving an Easter Sunday sermon. Parishioners expect the speech to start slow but close with a great last ten minutes.

Jamie Moyer tonight bid to be the oldest pitcher ever to win an MLB game. In honor of the occasion the Rockies were going to present him with a copy of his first ever box score. But they couldn’t find anyone to translate the original Sanskrit.

Boston Red Sox 0-2 after a 10-0 shutout against the Detroit Tigers. Who knew- maybe beer and fried chicken are performance enhancing drugs.

Donald Trump revised the rules in his Miss Universe pageant to allow transgender women like Jenna Talackova to compete. Makes some sense, Trump himself probably is a bit nebulous about the gender of that fuzzy thing that lives on his head.

Thanks to a bill signed by Gov. Rick Scott, starting July 1, it will be legal in Florida to dye bunnies pink, chicks blue, and poodles purple. (A GOP senator put the amendment on an agriculture bill, at the request of a dog groomer, thereby repealing a 45-year-old ban on artificially dying or coloring certain animals or fowl.) Can we just let the Sunshine State secede and be done with it?

Frustrated with his tee shot on the 16th today, Tiger Woods dropped his club and kicked it 15 yards. Woods may be fined by the PGA for his outburst, but on the brighter side, he’s allegedly been contacted for a tryout by a few NFL teams.

That 18 year old who left school and her family to live with her teacher has broken up with him after his arrest for a relationship with another student in 1998. Jordan Powers said she ended things with James Hooker when he called her from jail, “My heart dropped. I felt betrayed. I just have a gut feeling there are other girls.” Ya think?

Not a belated April Fool’s joke. Pizza Huts in the U.K. now selling Pizza with a hot dog stuffed crust. (Large size pizzas only, natch.) What’s most amazing, this idea didn’t originate in the U.S.