No place like home.

 
Lindsay Lohan’s parties and failed alcohol test will not get her sent back to jail, because alcohol was not specifically prohibited in her house arrest sentence. Although the judge did say Lohan used “extremely poor judgment” and ordered “No more parties.” Jeez, what does a celebrity have to do to get sent to jail in L.A, kill someone? Never mind, strike that.
 
 
A Southwest pilot has returned from his suspension after his cockpit rant.  Apparently he didn’t realize he was broadcasting on an air traffic channel while referring to the airline’s flight attendants as a “continuous stream of gays and grannies and grandes.” 
 
Hope the guy plans to spend his remaining years with the airline bringing his own coffee onboard.
 
But really, what could possibly have been his defense for such a rant?, (which was also apparently laced with profanities.)   Guess the pilot couldn’t apologize and say he was drunk?
 
Lindsay Lohan has been photographed having rooftop parties during her home confinement, and has now apparently failed a court-ordered alcohol test, her second of the year. It’s all part of Los Angeles’ celebrity “75 strikes and you’re out” policy.
 
After the Washingon Nationals won for the 11th time in 12 games, manager Jeff Riggleman just suddenly quit. No word if he’s been offered a job by any other team, but Riggleman did reputedly receive a congratulatory call from Sarah Palin.
 
 
 
NBA Player’s union president Derek Fisher said that players aren’t afraid of a work stoppage. And presumably Lebron James will teach them how to view it just as a long fourth quarter.
 
Sarah Palin cancelled an announced trip to the Sudan due to “scheduling difficulties.” Wonder what that means? She couldn’t find it on a map?
 
After Jon Stewart made fun of Herman Cain when the presidential candidate said in a speech that he would not sign a bill longer than three pages, Cain said that Stewart was “attacking him because he was black.” Nope, Herman, Stewart was attacking you because you are stupid.
 
Some GOP candidates say President Obama’s Afghanistan troop reduction plan brings home troops too slowly, others say it brings them home too fast. Anyone want to hazard a guess what they would say if it were President George W. Bush’s plan? “What a great example of nuanced leadership?” (Those of them who know the word nuanced.)
 
Ron Artest now wants to change his name – for real, he has petitioned the Los Angeles Supreme Court. The new name he wants? “Metta World Peace.” Guess “Bat Sh*t Crazy” was already taken.
The Phillie Phanatic mascot was attending a minor league game and had to be taken to the hospital after getting drilled by a foul line drive. The Phanatic suffered a minor concussion but will be fine. Maybe he should consider attending SF Giants games. They don’t hit the ball hard enough to hurt anyone.
 
 Serious groaner for NHL fans from Gary Morton:  Fans in BC don’t want to talk about the Stanley Cup anymore. To them, that’s Luongo and far away.
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2 Comments on “No place like home.”

  1. Augie Says:

    “After Jon Stewart made fun of Herman Cain when the presidential candidate said in a speech that he would not sign a bill longer than three pages, Cain said that Stewart was “attacking him because he was black.” Nope, Herman, Stewart was attacking you because you are stupid.”

    What color is stupid, asked Palin?

  2. marc ragovin Says:

    Having staged the most expensive show on Broadway, the producers of Spiderman: Turn Out The Dark, announced that they are planning another superhero musical, although on a less loftier scale. It’s gonna be called The Atom: Watch Where You Step

    (janice: this would kill at comic con)


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