Was the ring the thing?
Phoenix Suns president Lon Babby called into a Phoenix radio station to say” I have said it a zillion times. We are not trading Steve Nash,”
Translation, no one made them a good enough offer.
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George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis announced they have ended their two-year relationship, possibly over his unwillingness to propose marriage.
“So what?” responded millions of men. “There’s still hope,” responded millions of women.
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Now we are hearing that Newt Gingrich had a second line of credit at Tiffany’s for $1 million. This level of credit line was known privately at the store as a “Kobe Special.”
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Meanwhile, more campaign staffers are deserting Gingrich. The only way this story could be any better is if some of them went to work for his ex-wives.
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North Carolina has received an NCAA notice of allegations from the NCAA outlining numerous “potential major violations” in football. Guess this settles it, the Tarheels have officially arrived as a major football program.
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Okay, who predicted this. If the All-Star pitchers were chosen today, the San Francisco Giants starter who most deserves to make the team is…. . Ryan Vogelsong?!!
(and non-Giants fans, yes, look it up – 5 and 1 record, with an ERA of 1.86 – well over a run lower than any other starter on the staff.)
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The US beat Panama in the Gold Cup semi-final Wednesday night. Prompting this response from many American sports fans “That’s really great, what sport were we playing?”
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Mark Cuban may now be interested in buying the Dodgers. And it could happen. Frank McCourt may have accomplished the impossible – getting Bud Selig to think Cuban might be the lesser of any two evils as an owner.
Sad news, Glen Campbell has announced he has Alzheimer’s. The only silver lining, soon he won’t remember the outfits he wore for Rhinestone Cowboy.
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Sarah Palin has reportedly quit her bus tour halfway through. Wow, Santa must have decided that as a group comedy writers had been very very good last year.
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Follow up story later today: Sarah Palin now disputes reports that she has canceled her bus tour. She posted on Facebook that she’s been called for jury duty, and that she will resume the tour “when the time comes.” Does Sarah really think she’d be picked? Neither side would expect her to stay through the whole trial.
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Two I wish I’d written:
From Marc Ragovin: Jack McKeon walking out to the mound to make a pitching change is the baseball equivalent of the four corners offense.
From Jim Barach: A 90 year old Florida woman married a man she met on match.com. The amazing part is that she thought she was buying a comforter on eBay.
Explore posts in the same categories: political jokes, sports jokes, UncategorizedTags: George Clooney jokes, Gingrich jokes, Glen Campbell jokes, Sarah Palin jokes
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June 23, 2011 at 8:16 am
“Sad news, Glen Campbell has announced he has Alzheimer’s. The only silver lining, soon he won’t remember the outfits he wore for Rhinestone Cowboy.”
And most likely won’t remember the time he left Phoenix either. “Now where’s that sleeping bag I stuck behind the couch, dang it?”
June 23, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Breaking News: 3:45pm PDT. Cleveland Cadaverliers have given up their #1 draft pick. Instead, they will be cloning Dirk Nowitzki.
(Just don’t let the Canucks know, not looking forward to seeing the Swedine Triplets on the same line)
June 23, 2011 at 6:19 pm
RE Newt & Tiffany’s: I’ll bet Newt didn’t forsee that the blood of the diamonds he’d be spilling would be his own.
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And one to groan on: fans in BC don’t want to talk about the Stanley Cup anymore. To them, that’s Luongo and far away.
June 23, 2011 at 6:45 pm
if i don’t groan, do i get a free drink at your steakhouse chain??? Thx in adv!
June 23, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Any time, TC, just use my mother’s name: Ruth Criss.
June 23, 2011 at 6:47 pm
Washington Nationals manager Jim Riggelman has quit in mid-season after he and the team were unable to agree on a contract extension. Riggelman said he will now pursue his lifelong dream of being Governor of Alaska
June 23, 2011 at 6:53 pm
So Washington Nationals manager Jim Riggelman has resigned in mid-season. While the team may sue, outside lawyers who have reviewed his contract say it gave Riggelman wriggle room
June 23, 2011 at 9:24 pm
thx Gary, wuz just there last year, delivered via cable car to top of Calif street. let’s just say when the bill came, i left more than my heart in SF. and no sign of Janice H to buy a round either. 😦