Left Coast Sports Babe

 Ohio congressman Dennis Kucinch may lose his seat due to redistricting. And he says he may move to another state and run for Congress there. Why limit himself to other states? In fact, Dennis may be a better fit for Congress on another planet.

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The San Jose Sharks, formerly up 3-0, are now going to game 7 against the  Red Wings. And in Detroit they’re playing “Don’t stop believing.” In Northern California, San Franciscans are saying “Hey, we patented that ‘torture’ line.”

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The Sharks still have home ice for Thursday, but they are on the verge of being only the seventh NHL team ever to lose a playoff series when up 3-0. What are they trying to do, knock the Lakers off the front page?

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Lufthansa is flying their new Airbus 380 from Frankfurt to San Francisco.  The double decker plane holds 526 people.  But your chances of being next to the one hysterically crying baby on board are still better than you think.

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Chad Ochocinco is now going to try professional bull riding. Well, if there’s anyone who knows bull, it’s Ochocinco.

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Good news for Washington Wizards fans – the team is changing to a classic looking red white and blue new uniform. Bad news for Wizards fans – the new uniforms will have the same old players in them.

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The Lakers’ Andrew Bynum apologized for his flagrant foul on Mavericks’ guard J.J. Barea Sunday, saying “it looks bad” and it doesn’t “represent me.” Bynum also added “This doesn’t represent my upbringing.”

Translation, somebody got a call from his mother.

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Amazing NBA basketball these past few days. On Monday, the Celtics and the Heat played overtime plus four quarters, the Thunder and Grizzlies played three overtime plus four quarters, and on Sunday, the Lakers  played about one quarter.

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From Bill Littlejohn,  “May is National Zombie Awareness Month, and the Lakers certainly did their part on Sunday.”

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So now the Lakers are looking for a new coach. Have they considered Arnold Schwarzengger? He may have a lot of time on his hands now, and besides, he has experience as a Kindergarten Cop.

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Regarding the Arnold Schwarzenegger-Maria Shriver split: Surprised he didn’t announce it on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

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What’s behind the Maria Shriver-Arnold Schwarzengger split? Apparently Maria agreed to “for better or worse,” but she drew the line at a potential remake of “Jingle All the Way.”

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Rush Limbaugh is now calling torture “enhanced interrogation.” Of course, many Americans would call torture “being stuck in a car where the only radio station that works features Rush Limbaugh.”

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In the latest poll of Republicans, Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney are at the top of the GOP race with 19% and 18% respectively. Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin are next at 13% and 12%, followed by Donald Trump and Ron Paul at 8%, Michele Bachmann at 7%, and Tim Pawlenty at 5%. Unfortunately for most thinking Republicans “None of these clowns” wasn’t an option.

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Lindsay Lohan may plead “no contest” to stealing that necklace. But even though she was on probation at the time, the actress is likely to serve no more than two weeks, which could simply be home confinement. It’s all part of Los Angeles’ special celebrity “Three strikes and we’re really, really warning you” policy.

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Bristol Palin admits she had facial surgery and says that she “yes, it improved the way I look,” but insists it was “corrective,” and not cosmetic plastic surgery. Because she wouldn’t just do plastic surgery.  Right.  Like some rich girls used to need “deviated septum” nose surgery.

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This entry was posted on May 11, 2011 at 12:02 am and is filed under political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Arnold jokes, Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes, Janice Hough, Lakers jokes, Los Angeles Lakers jokes, SF Giants jokes, Sharks jokes

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