Posted tagged ‘Russian hockey team jokes’

Putin on the not so Ritz

February 20, 2014

This just in from Sochi. President Putin has announced that all bomb-sniffing dogs for the remainder of the Olympics will be replaced by the Russian men’s hockey team.

But give Putin time.  Maybe he can blame this on Obama.

A West Virginia Pizza Hut has been shut by the authorities after a surveillance video showed a manager peeing into a sink. So presume at Domino’s and Papa John’s, they’ve just updated the rules in their employee manuals?

26% of Americans got this question wrong in a recent survey “Does the Earth go around the sun, or does the sun go around the Earth? Wonder how many of that 26% thought the whole question was silly, because of course they know the Earth goes around the moon.

In Chandler, police are deciding whether or not to charge a man who fatally shot an unarmed man during a fight that started with an argument at a Walmart service counter. The shooter is claiming self-defense. What, is Arizona jealous that Florida’s getting all the headlines?

A Seattle burglar who was still in the apartment when police showed up implied to police he had taken LSD but also told them he was Jack Bauer of “24.” Presume the cops’ first clue was when the thief said he had broken in between 900a and 1000a.

Washington TE Fred Davis today was suspended indefinitely for violation of the NFL’s substance abuse policy. Apparently the substance was marijuana. Makes sense, no one watching the Redskins play last year would believe any of them used performance enhancing drugs.

Louisville coach Rick Pitino banned his players from tweeting, and would prefer they don’t use any other social media either “I’m trying to get our players to read more, pay attention to important things.” Of course if players are spending all their spare time with social media they won’t have time to have affairs with say, equipment manager’s wives….

Remember Bonnie Blair? Hey, whatever happened to speedskating anyway? Didn’t it used to be a Olympic Prime Time Sport? #sarcasm

The company behind #CandyCrush” has filed for an IPO. Will their opening price be known as “Level 1?:

The Los Angeles Lakers traded Steve Blake to the Golden State Warriors tonight. That’s perhaps less of a surprising story than the idea that Blake had to think “Thank God I’m going to a playoff team.”

Advertisement