Posted tagged ‘ncaa basketball jokes’

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First in war, first in peace….

April 3, 2017

Nationals are undefeated when Trump avoids the stadium. Coincidence?

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So it was a rough ending to game one for Giants fans. But this morning’s MLB leaderboard still is one for the ages.

leaderboard

 

By Aug MLB players will be dinged up & desperate for a break. ESPN does Opening Day for six teams then gives them off day. Prioritie$

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And of course Santiago Casilla gets the save for Oakland As tonight. Baseball is a funny game. Though SFGiants fans aren’t really laughing

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Good news for Atlanta baseball fans, #Braves have a new stadium. Bad news, Braves have the same old players.

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Trump’s obsession with Hillary is as if Cubs this spring were ranting about Indians supposedly stealing signs.

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If @MLB was like the @EnglishPremier league the Padres would have been relegated to AAA a long time ago.

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Refs tonight clearly spent as much time in officiating school as some former North Carolina players spent in class. #NationalChampionship

 

If fans really wanted to watch an hour of free throws they’d tune into last five minutes of an @NBA game.

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The Wizards are upset that the Warriors, leading 137-115, tried to shoot a three with the clock running out. Now, was it great sportsmanship by Golden State, no, but Washington really should be more upset that they had gotten down 22 points.

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Trump mantra for the first 100 days “If at first you don’t succeed, make something else up.”

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Trump was golfing again today. But maybe we shouldn’t complain. Golfing is probably one of least dangerous things he does.

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Just imagine if President Obama had constantly touted MSNBC as being more knowledgeable than FBI & US intelligence agencies.

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The FAA has cleared Harrison Ford, 74, after he mistakenly landed a small plane on a taxiway at Orange County Airport, barely missing an American AIrlines 737, and he will be allowed to keep his pilot’s certificate.
So having flown the Millennium Falcon means never having to say “I’m sorry, take my keys?

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Trump calls for $1.6 billion cuts to Interior Dept but donates $74k of salary to National Park Service. Next will he donate $100 to PBS?

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Trump playbook. Make up a story, spread it around, then complain the media isn’t covering it. Lather rinse repeat. #wiretapping #SusanRice

 

Might be faster & simpler at this point to list the attractive women at Fox  News Bill O’Reilly hasn’t (allegedly) harassed.

Categories: March madness jokes, Uncategorized
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Day of the Dead?

March 18, 2014

Forget November 1.  Isn’t the day after St. Patrick’s Day in the USA really the Day of the Dead?

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And yes, now that it’s the day after St. Patrick’s Day we get to see the true green of the holiday – the color that many people are this morning after maybe just a few whiskey and beers Monday night.

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So the biggest foreign holidays that Americans like to celebrate (St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco de Mayo) both involve heavy drinking. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

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Another day, another snowstorm in D.C. Maybe some in the GOP shouldn’t have said hell would freeze over before Obamacare was actually the law of the land.

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Has anyone asked #SarahPalin about the #MalaysiaAirlines plane? Maybe she can see it from her house? 

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Rush Limbaugh on the Malaysian plane “Folks, I can’t handle the media on this. I literally cannot. It’s all “such a show.” And if anyone knows about “such a show,” it’s Rush Limbaugh.

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Seriously, one of the problems with all the Malaysian Airlines theories. If someone had put any of them into a potential screenplay it would have been rejected as too implausible.

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Former four-term Louisiana Gov. Edwin Edwards, who spent 8 years in prison for corruption will run for the House of Representatives. Spectacular! A candidate who’s done his prison time before he gets to Congress.
(And the extra-fun twist to this story is that a felony conviction makes Edwards ineligible to run for a federal office, but not a state one.)

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Chris Brown is in jail after being ejected from two rehab programs in the last five months. Although he may be free on April 23. This is all part of Los Angeles’ celebrity “twenty-seven strikes and you’re really out” program.
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Some at Villanova think the Philadelphia school should have had a #1 seed. On the brighter side, the Wildcats’ #2 seed is probably higher than the 76ers would have had.
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No one gives Stanford a chance against New Mexico on Friday. Especially as the Lobos haven’t lost in the NCAA tournament to a over-achieving nerd team since March of 2013.
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Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay was arrested for drunk driving last night. Guess it’s not just millionaire dumb jocks who need the lesson to just get a driver.

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Just thinking, if being an “activist” against the current regime and wearing a “Democracy is Dead” t-shirt is enough to put the Malaysia Air pilot under suspension, darn good thing no plane I was on disappeared when George W. Bush was president.
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From Alex Kaseberg:  “Los Angeles had an earthquake. It was pretty bad, at the Los Angeles Lakers practice, it actually shook a ball into the basket.”

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St Patrick’s Day madness.

March 17, 2011
Okay, I’m not a Catholic. But who put the corned beef and cabbage holiday smack in the middle of Lent?’
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New St. Paddy’s toast: “May your troubles last as long as your intact brackets.”
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A note in advance, before you crow over your first upset, you get more crediblity if you  know where your “team” s college actually is. At least have it narrowed down to the right state.  And having some clue of the team’s  mascot doesn’t hurt either.
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Hooters is encouraging fans to visit “HootersHookyDay.com to download both a doctor’s note and a free appetizer coupon for this Thursday and Friday during the NCAA first round basketball games. Of course, if you spend several hours drinking beer and eating Hooters chicken wings you won’t need to fake the doctor’s note the next day.
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The Republican National Committe chair criticized President Obama for taking time to fill out a NCAA bracket in the midst of the “budget and other pressing issues?” Give me a break, Barack picked the top seed to win each bracket. How much time could it have taken?
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Neil Diamond was inducted last night into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. If Elvis wasn’t dead this just killed him.
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The NFL says they will give out more suspensions for illegal hits in 2011. Actually the way it looks like things are going, there will be NO illegal hits in 2011. Or any other hits for that matter
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Michele Bachman is still complaining about the  media’s treatment of  her because she stated, twice, that the “shot heard round the world” that started the Revolutionary war was fired in Lexington, New Hamphire.
Meanwhile, other Republicans are trying to make sure Bachman doesn’t have any speaking engagements scheduled in Alamo, California.
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Federal prosecutors released voicemail messages from Barry Bonds to his mistress. The claim is because Bonds sounds like a angry jerk in many of them, that this was the result of steroids fueled rage. The defense will presumably counter with the argument – Barry has ALWAYS been a jerk.
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The Sacramento Kings have already filed trademark registrations for four names in preparation for a possible move to Southern California:  Anaheim Royals, Anaheim Royals of Southern California, Orange County Royals and Los Angeles Royals. 
Well, considering how much the team stinks on a regular basis, a more fitting  name might be the Kansas City Royals, but that’s already taken.
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And regarding this Sacramento Kings/Royals stuff.  Aren’t American Indian tribes suing to stop what they feel that it’s insulting to their name to have it on a team’s  mascots?   So I presume some relative of the British royal family might know enough basketball to issue a “cease and desist” order to the team wherever they end up.
On the other hand, if the Lakers wanted to call themselves the Royals, this could probably be arranged.
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Atlanta Braves minor league manager and former player Luis Salazar will lose an eye after being hit in the face with a foul line drive during a spring training game. Sad, but amazing this doesn’t happen more often. Especially at places like A T & T park in San Francisco, where half the fans in field club pay more attention to their cell phones than the game.

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