Posted tagged ‘MLB playoffs jokes’

MLB Shutdowns…

October 3, 2013

It’s getting to be a sign of October. Falling temperatures, falling leaves, falling Braves….

Maybe the baseball gods are just really tired of the Tomahawk Chop?

Only people sadder than Braves and Pirates fans Thursday night were probably network executives who saw ratings crash.  In the St. Louis – Pittsburgh game probably as soon as the Cardinals put up a touchdown in the 3rd inning.

In tonight’s NFL game, the starting quarterbacks for both the Bills and the Browns were both injured and knocked out of the game. Is this God’s way of saying he REALLY misses Tebow?

Roger Goodell sent an email to millions of fans in the NFL database saying the league is  “committed “to deliver the game that the fans love and the safety that players deserve.”  Was he inspired by Bud Selig’s saying the steroid era is over.


From TC  “Sundays Raiders game has been pushed back to 8:30pm due to the A’s playoff game on Saturday. Supposedly it takes over 24 hours to remove the sewage from the baseball game and replace it with fresh sewage for football.”

Kobe Bryant apparently has left the country for an “undisclosed medical procedure.” Presumably Vanessa sent him somewhere they don’t have room service?

Indiana GOP Rep. Marlin Stutzman on the shutdown objective: “We’re not going to be disrespected. We have to get something out of this. And I don’t know what that even is.” Gosh. With that kind of mature attitude maybe Obama just needs to offer them all a new blankee.

Fox News is referring to the government shutdown as a “slimdown.” What’s next, praising Speaker Boehner for helping our country with waist management?

Furloughed FEMA employees are being recalled due to storm forecasts in Louisiana. And Gov. Bobby Jindal declared a state of emergency. Uh, wait a minute, the Congressman for the New Orleans area is a Democrat, but the rest of the Louisiana’s House members are Republicans. Shouldn’t the feds honor their wishes for their districts and observe the shutdown?

President Obama has challenged the Speaker of the House simply to vote on the Senate-approved spending plan which could end the shutdown. Waiting for Boehner to respond something like “voting is unAmerican.”

Ah, Florida. A 19 year old lesbian from Vero Beach has accepted a plea for four months in jail and two years of house arrest. She had sex when she was 18 with a 14-year-old girl who was a high school classmates. The young woman would have probably faced a lesser penalty had she been straight and accidentally shot her friend.