Posted tagged ‘Gabby Giffords jokes’

What we have here is a failure to communicate….

November 17, 2011

Herman Cain’s latest “oops” minute, asking a crowd at Versailles restaurant “how do you say delicious in Cuban?” Michele Bachmann immediately came to his defense, saying she doubts even President Obama knows that many words in Cuban.

Meanwhile, it is apparent watching Gabby Giffords that her cognitive skills are largely intact, but she is having serious trouble getting words and sentences out. Some think she shouldn’t run again for Congress, but hey, Gabby’s already ahead of certain candidates for the GOP presidential nomination.

As Newt Gingrich becomes relevant in the GOP primary again, despite three marriages and admitted affairs, are there any other women with the same question I have? How did Newt find so many women who found him attractive?

Meanwhile, Melania Trump told Joy Behar that her husband Donald will decide in the next few weeks whether to get back in the Presidential race. Guess the the Donald has seen Newt Gingrich’s surging poll numbers and decided it’s a good time for family values types on their third wives.

At a recent campaign stop for Rick Perry, people were told that non-U.S. Citizens would not be allowed to enter. Apparently it was a misunderstanding. With that rule Perry would never be able to have an event catered by any restaurant.

from T.C. Washington Nationals kidnap victim catcher Wilson Ramos was rescued this weekend in Venezuela. While in captivity, he overheard his abductors saying they weren’t interested in Terrell Owens either.

For many Americans, especially baby-boomers, one result of the past week is that after over 30 years, the movie “Carrie” is no longer the standard for the most awful imagined shower scene.

Mike McQueary, the assistant coach who said he saw Jerry Sandusky raping a young boy, now says he “stopped” the attack and did go to the police. Not sure who to believe at this point, but to paraphrase a line from Hamlet – “Something is rotten in the state of Pennsylvania.”

Apparently former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been implicated as a client of a $800 a night call girl ring in northern France. Maybe his defense will be this was an example of a serious French stimulus package.

The GOP controlled House of Representatives just passed a bill to dramatically expand the right to carry concealed firearms Well, concurrently with the Occupy movement what could possibly go wrong?

Natalie Wisneski, former COO officer of the Fiesta Bowl, has been charged with filing false income tax returns for the bowl game. And faces campaign finance and conspiracy charges. Ah for the good old days when that might have been one of the biggest college football scandals of the year.

Terry Francona withdrew his name from consideration for the Chicago Cubs managerial job. Apparently Terry feels that he’s a manager, not a miracle worker.

In the “who cares” department, Heather Locklear and Jack Wagner have broken off their engagement, which they announced in August. On the bright side for those who like celebrity romance, their engagement did last longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage

Okay, guys who read this blog can ignore this one: People magazine has declared Bradley Cooper this year’s “Sexiest Man Alive.” Please, can we just retire this competition and give the award permanently to George Clooney?