Posted tagged ‘Chris Carpenter jokes’

Only about 100 days…

October 29, 2011

Until pitchers and catchers report.

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Gutsy pitching performance tonight by the St. Louis Cardinals’ ace. Almost expected to see the “Jesus was a Carpenter” signs?

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(Of course, that would be sacrilegious, everyone knows if Jesus was to be reincarnated these days he would be Tim Tebow.)

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So if God really was involved with this World Series, having Josh Hamilton get Texas so close to a championship, and then snatching it away, well all I can say is that He has a really mean sense of humor.

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For the uninitiated: Josh Hamilton said that God told him he was going to hit a home run in game six. But Hamilton added “There was a period at the end of [the sentence]. He didn’t say, ‘You’re going to hit it and you’re going to win. ”

Just a reminder, when you pray, it’s important to be specific.

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More on game six:

Another reason why baseball is THE best sport: No clock. At some point early in the second half in the Colts-Saints game, it wouldn’t have matter if Peyton Manning or even Johnny Unitas in his prime was miraculously transported in as QB, there would have been ZERO chance of a comeback.

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Last night’s World Series game was one of the most exciting ever, despite 5 combined errors (not to mention the fact that Nelson Cruz misplayed David Freese’s triple.) There’s a great quote from Bull Durham, “It’s a simple game, you throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball.” Well, sometimes two out of three ain’t bad.

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Heck of a World Series. Of course had the BCS been in charge neither the Cardinals nor the Rangers would have been anywhere near it.

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The Cardinals’ Matt Holliday, who booted a ball in left field, and got picked off third base with the bases loaded, was out of game seven with a wrist injury. Wonder if Tony LaRussa stepped on it.

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If these smaller-market National League teams keep winning the World Series, Bud Selig may have to rethink his “All Star Game Winners Get Home Field Advantage” strategy

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A former Ohio high school teacher was found guilty of having sexual encounters with FIVE students. These overcrowded classrooms are really getting out of hand.

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Recently acquired Oakland QB Carson Palmer said when he was put into last Sunday’s Raiders -Chiefs game he only knew “about 15 plays.” Well, that’s about 14 more than JaMarcus Russell ever learned.

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Michele Bachmann is now accusing Texas governor Rick Perry’s presidential campaign of a “stealth” political attack. Perry’s campaign denies any attack. Makes sense at this point attacking Bachmann’s campaign would be like cheating at Scrabble with George W. Bush.

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Wells Fargo said Friday that the bank is cancelling test program of a monthly $3 fee for users of its debit cards: “As we adjust to changes in our business, we will continue to stay attuned to what our customers want,” said a Wells Fargo spokesman. Translation, “We’ve lost track of how many cut-in-half cards we’ve received in the mail.”

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Rick Perry’s latest campaign slogan “Cut, Balance and Grow.” Is he running for President or to head up Home Depot’s Garden Centers?

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