Posted tagged ‘Bonds trial jokes’

The verdict:

April 14, 2011

We all know now that Barry Bonds, along with a pretty significant number of players, took steroids. But how many Giants fans cheering as Bonds approached Aaron’s record really thought he was clean?

My guess, about as many as voted for Bill Clinton thinking he was a faithful husband.

So how long until someone tries to allege Brian Wilson’s beard is a PED – performance enhancing device?

Phrase I would like to nominate for retirement: “In it to win it.”

 

A T & T is sending out a new free magazine, with the caption on the front  – “See the many ways A T & T is committed to serving our Northern California customers.”

Here’s a suggestion for the phone company:  Can the magazine, save the money, and use it to upgrade your coverage.

Okay, I’ll take Kobe Bryant at his word that he’s not a homophobe and the slur he muttered against a referee (rhymes with sucking maggot), “came strictly out of anger and shouldn’t be taken literally.” But just wonder how Byrant would have reacted had a referee “strictly out of anger” insulted him with the “n” word.

 

A Washington state couple has been arrested and charged with with keeping their 6 and 7 year old children in a cage. What kind of monsters use a cage for young children? For teenagers, maybe.

AL MVP Josh Hamilton will be out for six to eight weeks with a fracture in his arm he sustained by sliding into home plate. Well, at least this is one misfortune that is unlikely to befall the 2011 Red Sox – their players are rarely running from third to home.

Back to Barry:  So is one of the other verdicts of the Bonds trial that chicks who dug the long ball ended up with guys with small balls?

And before we breathe a sigh of relief; while THIS trial is over, since it was a hung jury, federal prosecutors and the Justice Department will have to decide whether to retry Bonds on the unresolved counts. Uh, can we be done now?

From Bill Littlejohn:   “President Obama has announced that he wants four trillion dollars trimmed off of the budget deficit.His advisors informed him that he could do that by not re-trying Barry Bonds”


If they do retry Barry Bonds, or when they have the  Roger Clemens trial, I have one wish: Will someone PLEASE call Bud Selig to the stand and ask him under oath about his statements that he had no idea MLB had a Performance Enhancing Drug problem?

Ever get the sense we’re all unpaid extras in Trump’s new “reality’ show – “Who Wants to be a Presidential Candidate?”

Former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty is sort of running for the GOP Presidential nomination, though he hasn’t made it official. The hang up – he’s trying to think of a better slogan than “I’m not as crazy as the rest of them.”

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