Posted tagged ‘bin Laden death jokes’

Too gruesome?

May 5, 2011

Apparently photos will not be released because they’re too gruesome. And besides pictures of the Lakers’ shooting in game two, President Obama won’t release pictures of Bin Laden’s corpse either.

Rough few days in Los Angeles. The Dodgers found out that the team doesn’t have enough money to cover their paychecks. And the Lakers didn’t do anything to earn theirs.

Now that we’ve got Bin Laden, time for the important stuff: The DOJ apparently has sent the NCAA a letter asking why there isn’t a playoff system for college football, saying “serious questions” continue to be raised about whether the current Bowl Championship Series complies with federal antitrust laws.

Well, so much for all those doubters who didn’t believe Boise State had a big-time football program. They’ve now been charged by the NCAA with rules violations and have self-imposed sanctions. Another step closer to joining the SEC!

Although the World Champion San Francisco Giants have been in a serious slump at the plate for weeks, many long-time team observers say not to hit the panic button yet. Besides, the way the Giants are going, if they went for the panic button they’d swing and miss.

Tim Lincecum struck out 12 against the Mets tonight to move ahead of Christy Mathewson for most double-digit strikeout games in Giants history (29). And most amazingly, Timmy’s done it all before hitting puberty.

And it’s two wins in a row for the SF Giants, who had been struggling mightily. Of course, maybe these wins should have an asterisk. They were against the Mets.

Tough times at Citi Field in New York. Have heard the most common chant now has changed from “Let’s Go Mets,” to “Please Go Mets.”

I’m not a big country fan, but American Idol’s Scotty McCreery could sell out HP Pavilion and a number of arenas across the country tomorrow. (And while he was a high school pitcher, I think it’s a safe bet his baseball career is over.)

From T.C. 

Reports explain how the Navy SEAL helicopters were able to infiltrate the Osama Bin Laden compound and take him out.

His ATC workers were sleeping at the time of the attack.

Jerry Brown says that to deal with the budget crisis, California may have to cut 20 days off the school year. The Governor’s poll numbers with teenagers just doubled.

And a tweet from a twit:  Sarah Palin’s latest about releasing a death photo of Osama bin Laden. “Show photo as warning to others seeking America’s destruction. No pussy-footing around, no politicking, no drama;it’s part of the mission.”

“Pussy-footing around?” Does she mean like the previous administration did in not going after Bin Laden?

Tweets and twitts.

May 3, 2011

Osama bin Laden’s last tweet? “Winning.”

What was more unlikely? The U.S finally getting Bin Laden? Or Kobe missing an open potential game-winning three-point shot?

There was almost a “24” quality about this military action that killed Bin Laden. In fact, rumor has it that a line cut from Obama’s speech was “The mission took place between 1:00am and 2:00am.”

A little perspective for a change. Just for one day at least, people in Cleveland have remembered there was a man they hated more than Lebron James.

What a week. The stock market hits a three year high, Hawaii releases a long-form birth certificate, and the U.S. gets Bin Laden. Fox News is considering dedicating this week to a 24/7 recap of the Royal Wedding.

Since he had already authorized the attack on Bin Laden, how did the President deliver this joke Saturday night with a straight face?

Talking about an episode of Celebrity Apprentice, Obama said to Donald Trump – “You didn’t blame Lil’ Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled sir. Well handled.”

Apparently the attack on bin Laden’s compound was originally scheduled for Saturday, but delayed due to bad weather. So not only did President Obama show off his comic timing at the White House Correspondent’s dinner, Barack also showed he would be great on “I’ve Got a Secret.”

It’s after midnight in Washington,  D.C.  And both Generalissimo Francisco Franco and Osama bin Laden are still dead.

The rumors that Sacramento would lose their NBA team turned out to be greatly exaggerated. Who’d a thunk the Kings would last longer than Osama bin Laden?

from Marc Ragovin:  Did you hear how loudly the Phildadelphia fans cheered word of Bin Laden’s death? For a minute there they must have thought he was Santa Claus.

Ohio State already has several players and coach Jim Tressel, suspended for five games over the selling memorabilia scandal. Now the school has announced that linebacker Dorian Bell has been suspended for the entire 2011 season for a violation of team rules. This came as a shock to Buckeyes fans – OSU has team rules?

To be fair, Donald Trump did make a gracious statement today – “I want to personally congratulate President Obama and the men and women of the Armed Forces for a job well done. We should spend the next several days not debating party politics, but in remembrance of those who lost their lives on 9/11 and those currently fighting for our freedom.”

Possible translation “I can’t figure out how to take credit for this one.”