Posted tagged ‘astronaut jokes’

Name calling

March 5, 2016

So what are we going to title the next few weeks of the ‪#‎GOPPrimary‬? Since ‪#‎MarchMadness‬ is already taken.

Now Marco Rubio says that Donald Trump is the “most vulgar person ever to aspire to the Presidency.” What’s next, a rousing chorus of “I see London, I see France, I see someone’s underpants?”

 

Astronaut Scott Kelly says he grew two inches in space and now he can’t sink a basketball shot. Hmm, so is this the explanation for big men like Shaq and DeAndre Jordan and free throws? They’re really from a different planet?

Ah for the good old days when ‪#‎votefortheworst‬ just mean you ended up with a lousy winner on ‪#‎AmericanIdol‬ ‪#‎GOPPrimary‬

 

Saw a headline that “Wall Street is about to go after Trump big time.” Oh this billionaire on billionaire violence….

In a reality TV world should we be surprised that being the only adult in the room is not necessarily a way to win the audience?

Ravens LB Terrell Suggs was arrested this morning in Arizona and charged with leaving the scene of an accident and driving with a suspended license. Then he tweeted out “MooD:…….Driving with a suspended license! Street Cred= 100,000 Trillion. My bad.”
‪#‎stayclassy‬ ‪#‎rolemodels‬ ‪#‎NFL‬

 

So the Atlanta Falcons have apologized after Ohio State’s Eli Apple reported that during the NFL combine he was asked if he “liked men.” Waiting for the first team to apologize for asking players if they think their mom is hot. ‪#‎nottheOnion‬ ‪#‎stayclassy‬

 

Ben Carson has dropped out of the Presidential race. Saying “I did the math. I looked at the delegate counts … and I realized it simply wasn’t going to happen.” Well, there’s his first problem, trying to be a GOP candidate who believes in math.

 

After becoming the butt of Twitter jokes, Whole Foods has pulled pre-peeled oranges from their shelves. Thereby probably really upsetting the same millennials who don’t eat cereal with milk because it’s too much work.

If we are going to have all this nastiness in ‪#‎GOPPrimary‬ can we at least get competence and draft ‪#‎FrankUnderwood‬? ‪#‎HouseofCards‬

Amazing. Southwest can turn a flight around in about 15 minutes. United can’t turn a domestic flight around in less than an hour. ‪#‎apassionformediocrity‬