Posted tagged ‘asiana jokes’

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Only 162 more shopping days.

July 14, 2013

July 14, 2013.    A Facebook ad titled “Music for the Holidays” suggests “Create your holiday soundtrack with Pandora for business.” Have they no shame? Everyone knows the Christmas shopping season doesn’t start until Labor Day.

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Asiana Airlines said they are considering legal action against KTVU because the station’s reading of the four fake names “badly damaged” their reputation. Really? I would have thought what badly damaged Asiana’s reputation was crashing a 777 on a clear day with possibly one of the worst landings in commercial aviation history.

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Timing is everything. The New York Times did a pre-All Star break baseball story that pointed out there was only one no-hitter this year. And called Tim Lincecum one of the three most disappointing NL pitchers in 2013.

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Anyone looking at the box scores from last night’s and today’s SF Giants vs. San Diego Padres games will understand, if they haven’t already, that “momentum is the next day’s starting pitcher.” (Earl Weaver.)

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The All Star futures game today was managed by Mookie Wilson and Edgardo Alfonzo, two former Mets. Well, when you think of minor league baseball, it’s makes sense to think of the Mets.

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American sprinter Tyson Gay tests positive for a banned substance: Track and Field is beginning to look like a sport with all the honor and integrity of professional cycling.

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From Bill Littlejohn:   after a bystander threw urine on Tour de France rider Mark Cavendish: “I wonder if it tested negative.”

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Yesterday Metta World Peace said he was done with the NBA, today he wants to play for the New York Knicks. Maybe he meant the Knicks aren’t really an NBA team, they’re more like a circus….?

The time’s they are a changin.’ Jordan Spieth, 19, won the John Deere Classic today. To put this in perspective, based on Spieth’s age, Tiger Woods is old enough to be his father.

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Is it too soon to start a pool on the date of George Zimmerman’s next arrest?

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After his acquittal, George Zimmerman got his gun returned to him. So going forward, presume anyone who argues with him has a right to draw their own weapon at any time. Because we’ve already proved, anyone fighting with Zimmerman IS in mortal danger.

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And serious final note:  The death of Cory Monteith reminds us of a sad truth about addiction. Not everyone with a problem plays it out by becoming a tabloid joke with their bad behavior.

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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Wi B. Dum?

July 13, 2013

KTVU, the San Francisco Bay Area station that had been touting their first and best coverage of the Asiana airlines crash, ended up caught with a name prank that might not have fooled many high school substitute teachers,  and Friday read the names of the pilots on the doomed flight as “Sum Ting Wong, ” “Wi Tu Lo”, “Ho Lee Fuk” and “Bang Ding Ow.”

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 So after today will the station change its name to K.T.V.Oops? ‪#‎KTVU‬ ‪#‎HoLeeFuk‬

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So when someone gets fired this weekend from ‪#‎KTVU‬, wonder how many offers they’ll get from various shows on ‪#‎ComedyCentral‬?

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So what was more unlikely? That KTVU, a major news station, would fall for a really juvenile  prank . Or that the SF Giants would score 10 runs Friday night?

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You cannot make this “stuff” up: At the Texas capitol while the abortion bill is being debated, state troopers are confiscating women’s tampons and maxi pads as potential projectiles. Guns, however, are allowed. Your move, Florida.

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Ariel Castro, the Cleveland kidnapping suspect now faces 977 counts against him. Amazing they couldn’t figure out how to go for an even thousand.

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A new study found that eating probiotic yogurts may help with symptoms of depression and anxiety. But women already know there’s a food that accomplishes that – it’s called “chocolate.”

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San Diego Mayor Bob Filner’s fiancee broke up with him this week, after Filner admitted he had behaved badly with women who worked for him. The Republican Party of San Diego cheered her move on its Facebook page, saying “she deserves better.” Somehow we all missed it when the GOP said the same thing about Maria Shriver.

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PETA wants the Tampa Bay Rays to remove its rays “touch tank”, located behind the center field wall at Tropicana Field. PETA feels the fish are in danger after Miguel Cabrera hit the second home run in 6 years that splashed into the tank. (No fish were hurt either time.) What’s next, asking the SF Giants to put a cover over the bay to protect fish from their splash hits?

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The Senate Democratic leader in Texas says he has stopped state troopers from confiscating women’s tampons at the door of the Capitol. What persuasion did he use? “If tampons are outlawed, only outlaws will have tampons?”

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Yet another Dreamliner issue, this time a fire on an empty Ethiopian 787 parked at Heathrow airport. Sort of puts a whole new slant on “nonsmoking” and “smoking” sections.

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The Canadian Football League is into the third week of its season, and there haven’t been any active players arrested yet. Alas, more ammunition for those who say the CFL isn’t real pro football.

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So Edward Snowden, who originally said he would not seek asylum in Russia after Putin made no further leaks a condition, now says through a spokesman that he could accept the condition, and that he “does not intend to damage U.S. interests given that he is a patriot of his country.” Translation, Snowden’s done some research on what it would be like living in Venezuel

A popular new dish in Colombia is “pork belly tater tots.” Is this the poor man’s version of a Cardiac Stress Test?

Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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