Posted tagged ‘adele jokes’

A little good news

December 18, 2015

Martin Shkreli, the infamous CEO of Turing Pharma who raised the price of an AIDS pill by over 5,000% was arrested today on charges of securities fraud. Mean bitch karma for the win!


Disney has announced that due to security concerns, visitors over the age of 14 will no longer be able to wear costumes in their theme parks, even on Halloween. Well, that’s just Goofy.


New Walt Disney theme park enhanced security will mean no costumes, no toy guns (including light sabers?), and metal detectors at the entrances. Although if they really want to keep people safe Disney could just threaten anyone arrested as a terror suspect with being locked for hours inside “It’s a Small World.” ‪#‎torture‬

So will ‪#‎Adele‬‘s next sad song be about trying to buy tickets to her own concerts?


The San Francisco school district apparently got an email threat similar to the one sent to Los Angeles and NY, but decided to stay open. So sorry kids, looks like closing down your school is no longer an alternative to studying for finals.

According to TMZ, RIchard Simmons has refused to go out in public for two years because he no longer wants to be famous. And most Americans at this point are saying “Who?”

Two quarterbacks in a week have decided to transfer from Texas A&M. And at 49ers headquarters Kaepernick and Gabbert are wondering “You can do that?”

Glenn Beck says if Donald Trump is nominated – “you are going to see an end to the Republican Party.” Hmm. Promise?


Ben Carson is canceling planned trips to Israel, Nigeria, Kenya and Zambia, citing “security concerns.” So the good Doctor can stay in the U.S. and slam President Obama for not providing courageous leadership?



When police arrested two suspects for allegedly stealing Amazon packages off of porches, one of them had a nicely written daily “to do” list with her – including “kiss mom n tell her she’s loved, ” (aw) “shop-lift” (‪#‎cantfixstupid‬) And no, not Florida. San Diego.





From T.C. “MLB Commissioner Manfred has upheld the ban on Pete Rose being associated with any Major League baseball team. Rose is considering applying for a position with The Seattle Mariners.”