Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Won’t you please, please help me…

August 5, 2018

UMA Health, a New York based online mental health marketplace is giving free, confidential therapy sessions to Mets fans.

The first step is admitting you’re a Mets fan.

Of course, after the last few games against the Red Sox, maybe UMA Health should consider the same option to Yankees fans.

Saturday was the 25th anniversary of Robin Ventura’s charging the mound against Nolan Ryan. For some reason no one has tried that with Madison Bumgarner.

 

Ray Lewis at HOF speech said 1999 through 2001 were “some of the darkest moments of my life.” Not as dark as they ended up for Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar

Houston 14,  Los Angeles 0.    Rough way to start the pre-season for the Chargers against the Texans. Oh, wait, never mind.

Meanwhile Astros reportedly had a pregame meeting to discuss the  arrival of  Robert Osuna, who is almost done with his 75-game MLB suspension for domestic violence.

Here’s a solution to the issue  – just say no.

Reports that Angels manager Mike Scioscia is expected to retire at the end of 2018 season.  Maybe ESPN will discuss it between innings of Sunday Night’s Red Sox-Yankees game?

 

From Trump fundraising email this morning. – “I will work all hours of the night until you get the agenda you voted for.”
Right, attacking black basketball players as well as football players?

Hope Hicks boarded Air Force One today. Meaning tomorrow GOP will probably call for another investigation into Loretta Lynch’s tarmac conversation with Bill Clinton.

Donald Trump introducing Jim Jordan at his Ohio rally Saturday. Wonder if Donald Trump and Jim would be good cellmates?

 

Must have been awful Saturday to be Donald Trump and to know that what ever you tweeted it won’t be as popular as & .

Womp womp.

Seriously I DO miss having a President who loved his wife and loved our country.

Plus ca change….

August 4, 2018

Johnny Manziel’s first career CFL pass with the Montreal Alouettes was an interception. So Johnny’s auditioning to get back with the Browns?

Manziel threw four first-half interceptions before he was benched.   Canadian fans might be forgiven for thinking “The USA is CLEARLY not sending us their best.”

 

Nike cutting ties with Jameis Winston over his allegedly groping an Uber assault story. Once again, star QB hasn’t gotten it through his head, sometimes motto should be “Just DON’T do it.”

Justin Verlander beats Dodgers again Friday night, the first time the future Hall-of-Fame pitcher has faced LA since the 2017 World Series.

Wonder how much added adrenaline Verlander had in knowing that even if SF Giants come back to make the playoffs, he won’t have to face Pablo Sandoval again.

Urban Meyer now says he “failed” in talking about his knowledge of his coach’s domestic violence issues. “My intention was not to say anything inaccurate or misleading. However, I was not adequately prepared to discuss these sensitive personnel issues with the media, and I apologize for the way I handled those questions.”

Uh, how about,  “I lied, I’m sorry.”

If Urban Meyer has to leave Ohio State over this latest scandal, how long until he runs for office in Ohio as a Republican?

Trump is feuding with the Koch brothers like he’s feuding with Putin.

Thunderstorms this weekend near Trump’s golf resort in Bedminster, NJ. So with that and Manafort trial, the forecast is for an extra-torrential tweetstorm.

So maybe Trump praised Jordan, an avowed Obama supporter, because Donald figured Mike was somehow related to Jim Jordan?

Time to open pool on when Trump first claims Omarosa  was the covfefe girl?

Trump administration now telling ACLU to find deported parents of immigrant children. Sort of the opposite of Pottery Barn – We break it, you buy it.

Steve Bannon reportedly set to campaign this fall saying if Democrats capture control of House in midterms “they’re going to impeach” Trump. Cool, can he start in California?

Down but not out.

August 3, 2018

Did someone forget to tell SF Giants they were supposed to give up on the season?

15 runs for Boston, and 21 for Los Angeles tonight, 25 for Washington earlier this week. Did someone start the NFL season early and not tell us?

Bummer that Pablo Sandoval tore a hamstring and is out for the season. Especially for all of those who wanted again this season to see him pitch.

So maybe mean bitch Karma didn’t like Sonny Gray being blamed for all the Yankees pitching troubles?

One-on-one golf match between Tiger Woods & Phil Mickelson will happen Thanksgiving weekend. Let’s hope they’re both playing well, could be biggest holiday sports turkey not involving a Lions game.

Too soon to start a pool on when Urban Meyer will retire again for “health reasons?”

=

Ohio State coach allegedly lied about knowing about domestic violence – school puts him on leave. GOP representative allegedly ignored AND lied about sexual assault – party considering making him their leader. That moment when Republicans give FOOTBALL the moral high ground.

So much for Miss Independence “They asked my daughter Ivanka whether or not the media is the enemy of the people. She correctly said no. It is the FAKE NEWS, which is a large percentage of the media, that is the enemy of the people!”

 

Anti-violence march closing down Chicago’s Lake Shore Drive. Says all we need to know about the need for such a march when we see trending & think “mass shooting?”

Trump has a rally and no major media covers it does he still make hateful lying sounds?

According to Trump you need an ID to go grocery shopping. But if you don’t have an ID, buy a gun, then you can probably get all the groceries you want.

What’s Trump’s next rant? Immigrants using fake id’s to buy groceries?

If Dem take back House and Senate this fall, how long will it take for GOP to scream bloody murder if Democrats try to use same tactics Republicans are using now?

Trump is leaving Washington, DC for an 11 day vacation. From what?

James Baldwin quote on his birthday ” I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.”

Here’s Johnny.

August 1, 2018

Commissioner Rob Manfred says Mike Trout should market himself. And this Friday night ESPN2 will cover… CFL Montreal Alouettes, for Johnny Manziel’s first start. #WTF?

Urban Meyer ignored assault and attempted murder allegations against Aaron Hernandez at Florida, why should anyone be surprised that he ignored domestic violence with a coach at Ohio State?

Ohio State put Urban Mayer on paid administrative leave over allegations that he lied about knowing about assault by one of his coaches.
That moment when a “win-at-all-costs” football program has more integrity than the GOP Congress. #JimJordan

Serena Williams knocked out of first round of Silicon Valley Classic after a 6-1 6-0 defeat. Embarrassing for her, but worse for San Jose promoters trying to sell weekend tickets.

Even fans of the 1962 Mets are beginning to think the 2018 Mets really suck.

On the other hand, at least Mets fans don’t have to watch Sonny Gray pitch.

Bought some groceries this morning without ID. Hope that’s not now a criminal offense!

 

Sarah Huckabee Sanders said White House denounced conspiracy theorists like “QAnon” today. But wait until Trump discovers “QAnon” members almost unanimously support him.

Michigan GOP Rep. Lee Chatfield, speaker pro-temp of the state House of Representatives, apologized after he was caught with an unregistered, loaded gun in his carry-on at a local airport. He said he forgot it was in there.
And women get grief about OUR purses.

It’s bad enough we have to listen to Sarah Sanders. Why does anyone care anymore what Sean Spicer says?

Mueller reportedly wants to ask President Trump about obstruction of justice. Could take a major chunk out of US deficit if questioning is televised on “pay-per-view.”

So screaming “CNN Sucks” and “Enemy of the People” is defended as free speech, but Maxine Waters is attacked as “calling for harassment.”
The Gospel According to Trump….

August 1.

August 1, 2018

And the number one sentence starter in MLB clubhouses “Hi, my name is…”

 

25-4 Nationals over Mets .
Really time to change the slogan from “Let’s Go Mets.” to “That’s So Mets.”

Even the 1962 Mets didn’t lose 25-4.

Anyone but me still having a hard time wrapping their head around the phrase “division-leading Phillies?”

Aurora police accidentally fatally shoot homeowner who had shot an intruder, LAPD accidentally fatally shoot hostage in Van Nuys AND a bystander at Trader Joe’s in Silver Lake.
But hey, I’m sure our country’s English teachers will do better in a crisis.

Amazing good news that all 87 aboard Aeromexico flight survived crash landing. Even better news, they weren’t on one of those discount carriers that would have charged an extra “thrill” fee.

 

Went to a local small  mostly take-out Mexican restaurant today to find them now temporarily but regularly closing at 6p instead of 9p. Why? Because they can’t find enough employees.

So weren’t Americans supposed to be lining up for this kind of job?

White House announced John Kelly will stay as chief-of-staff through 2020. Well, that settles those rumors. We all know Trump never changes his mind/

Trump wants to index capital gains: 97% of tax benefits go to top 10%, 2/3 would go to top 0.1%. But hey, his working class supporters would get cool new green MAGA hats.

From fundraising email – “Authorized By Trump Headquarters- Your contribution of ANY AMOUNT will be TRIPLE-MATCHED if you contribute before the cut-off period of the FEC DEADLINE at 11:59 PM TONIGHT.
Matched how, in rubles?

WTF?  Meanwhile in Tampa, Trump said tonight the Democrats want to let MS-13 rule our country.

As opposed to America’s rightful rulers, the Russians?

 

 

Remember when Hillary supporters at her rallies threatened reporters and chanted “Fox Sucks?” No. Because they didn’t.
But there’s no difference between the parties.

 

Man in front row of Tampa rally had a “F*ck the Media” t-shirt.
But liberals are supposed to be civil?

And the hits just keep on coming.

July 30, 2018

#bustohell

 

So with Osuna traded to Astros & Chapman with Yankees, ALCS could come down to battle of two closers arrested for domestic violence.
This is NOT, perhaps, how MLB wanted to compete with football.

Top college basketball recruit DJ Jeffries is decommitting from Kentucky ” I am confident that taking my time to choose the right school for me to better myself educationally and athletically is the right choice.”
Right, because that time in college classrooms could be the best dozen hours of his life?

SF Giants Will Smith asked after getting out of of a jam in 11th and striking out side to get win in 12th how he deals with “the whole night riding on you getting that guy out? “You try your hardest to get them out.”
One of my new favorite Giants.

If Will Smith likes pitching in San Francisco he better hope that 4 strikeout performance came too late for the trade deadline.

Scariest thing about #JoshHader #SeanNewcomb and #TreaTurner stories involving homophobic and racist tweets when they were teenager; for all that they’ve apologized, the tweets make SOME Americans like them better.

Jeff Sessions announced #ReligiousLibertyTaskForce. It will protect the rights of all groups who follow HIS religion.

Trump administration today called for “free, fair, and transparent elections” in Nicaragua. Right, as long as they don’t try that same nonsense in the United States.

So if there was ‘no collusion” why would it matter if Rudy doesn’t “even know if that’s a crime — colluding with Russians.”
Such stable geniuses.

Sometimes have to wonder, is Rudy Guiliani really THAT stupid, or is Rudy just trying to get back at Trump for being elected President when he couldn’t?

Labor Department says consumer prices rose 2.9 percent in June from a year earlier, highest inflation in more than six years.
I missed the Trump tweet taking credit.

 

Who knew getting a Nobel Peace Prize could be so complicated? #northkorea

The tweet’s the thing

July 29, 2018

Now it’s Sean Newcomb, fresh off his near no-hitter, who’s been caught out with racist homophobic tweets when he was 18-19.
I suppose I get youthful stupidity, & learning tolerance. But wouldn’t you think at 25 he’d know enough to delete tweets?

Open note to young athletes. 1. Tolerance is a good thing. 2. If you haven’t learned that yet, keep it to yourself or at least off social media. #SeanNewcomb#JoshNader

Anyone social media savvy with time on their hands probably could name their price now to help young @MLB players scrub their Twitter accounts.

 

So after Rob Manfred says Mike Trout needs to market himself, Sunday Night Baseball July 22- Mets-Yankees rainout; July 29 – Cubs-Cardinals rain delay. Thinking mean bitch Karma just might be a Trout fan.

(At the moment, thunderstorms are only expected next Saturday in Boston, where Sunday Night’s next game will be played against the …surprise,  Yankees.)

Jose Altuve on DL for first time in his career with a knee injury. Did they diagnose him at Children’s Hospital?

(And I love Altuve, so I’m laughing with him not at him. How many superstars who aren’t jockeys can I be taller than in heels?)

 

Cowboys’ QB Dak Prescott says NFL anthem protests take away ‘from the joy and the love that football brings.” But hey, maybe the CTE will help players forget.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg says “I have at least five more years on the Supreme Court.”

You Go Girl.  Or as my friend Karen says “You STAY Girl.”

Wonder if FLOTUS “can watch any channel she likes”, if she watching MSNBC airing #AllThePresidentsMen Sunday night?

 

So why would any foreign government trust Trump to keep promises when he can’t even keep promise to keep conversation with @NYTimes off the record?

Trump says he tweets because media doesn’t report him honestly. But almost all his tweets are simply bragging and/or spewing hate.
“If someone tells you who they are, believe them.”

Not so new boys of summer

July 28, 2018

So after Rob Manfred says Mike Trout should market himself…. who’s on Saurday’s Fox Game of the Week? Cubs vs. Cardinals. Who’s on Sunday Night Baseball tomorrow? Cubs vs. Cardinals.

 

You know it’s getting bad for SF Giants fans when your goal for the night is less making up ground on Dodgers than jinxing the no-hitter.

 

Bruce Bochy took a red-eye flight tonight to New York for Trevor Hoffman’s Hall-of-Fame induction ceremony tomorrow.    Hope the flight stocked a LOT of his favorit red wine.

So far, this year’s MLB’s trade deadline is the most “rich get richer” that we’ve seen since GOP passed those tax cuts.

 

Reports now Donald  Trump wanted to see Ivanka married to Tom Brady. Millions of Americans would be okay with that – Patriots couldn’t be any more hated, & we’d have Ivanka out of DC.

FOX News website headline “DHS: All eligible immigrant parents reunited with children.” Only down in the story is the line “Hundreds of children remain apart from their families following separations at the border.”
State TV at its finest.

 

Necco candy plant in Revere, MA, suddenly closed. They made Necco Wafers, Mary Janes & Valentine’s Day tiny Sweetheart candies. Will the last candy hearts instead of saying “Be Mine” say “Blame Trump?”

NY Times reports Jared Kushner “has privately said that he has been taking action against ‘incompetence.'”
Some statements don’t even need a punchline.

Crickets from Trump on deadly California Carr Fire. Although imagine the tweet storm if he thought it was started by an immigrant.

And ten people at least shot in New Orleans, three fatally.  Less sad perhaps that we reset the USA  mass shooting clock than that we barely notice.

 

Can we call Trump the “Pinball President?” Because scandals come so fast & furious it’s like a ball bouncing so fast off bumpers we don’t know what to react to next.

Murica

July 28, 2018

Jerry Jones’ son Stephen, Dallas executive VP, said players should stand “if they want to be a Dallas Cowboy.”
So if they want to take out their frustrations, players should do something more American like beating their girlfriends?

 

Former SF Giant Ryan Vogelsong, on missing being a major league pitcher. “I had an excuse to be mad at everyone every fifth day.”

 

Facebook blocked Alex Jones for 30 days for “spreading hate speech and encouraging physical harm.”
And then did they lock the barn door and start searching for the horse?

If CNN and other reporters showed up with questions on colored flash cards would Trump answer them?

Putin says he’s invited Trump to Moscow for second meeting. Guess he wants to refresh his memory with another showing of the pee tape?

Why does Fox News keep saying liberals think Trump voters are stupid, when it’s Donald  Trump who CLEARLY really thinks they are stupid.

 

Trump tweets that “The only things the Democrats do well is “Resist,” which is their campaign slogan, and “Obstruct.”
Justice Merrick Garland might disagree.

 

 

How long until Trump claims Omarosa was just the covfefe girl?

Recent Twitter message – but kind of applies to the United States right now -“Something is technically wrong -thanks for noticing. We’re going to fix it and have things back to normal soon.” #BlueWave

As if we didn’t already know Kimberly Guilfoyle was the perfect woman to marry into the Trump family….

“Troy is strong on crime and borders, loves our Military, our Vets and our Second Amendment. He has my full and total Endorsement!”
“John is strong on crime and borders, loves our Military, our Vets and our Second Amendment. He will be a star. He has my full and total Endorsement!”

Two tweets, about 6 minutes apart. Can’t imagine how Trump gets accused of being a clueless braggart with memory issues.

Here goes da Judge

July 27, 2018

Aaron Judge has a fractured wrist and is going to be out three weeks. So what, will the Yankees somehow make a trade for Bryce Harper?

Josh Hader pitched for the first time on the road since the All-Star game when his racist and homophobic teenage tweets were revealed.  Against the Giants, and he was booed loudly.  San Francisco is a hate-free zone,  Except for the Dodgers.

After CNN reporter was banned from White House pool access for simply asking about Michael Cohen,  Fox News issued a statement saying “we stand in strong solidarity with CNN for the right to full access for our journalists as part of a free and unfettered press.”

So they’re sending “thoughts and prayers?”

So Jim Jordan is running for Speaker. Because he’ll speak up as much for the country against Trump as he spoke up for those wrestlers against the doctor?

Jim Jordan will say he’s even more qualified than Dennis Hastert to be speaker because we already know about his sexual abuse scandal. #WTF?

 

So how much will we have to cut from US education budget to provide better security for Betsy Devos’s yachts?

United & American Airlines changing their websites to accede to Chinese demand not to refer to Taiwan as a separate country. Washington HAD described the demand as “Orwellian nonsense.”
“Orwellian nonsense?”  These days in DC Trumpster consider Orwell a political genius.

 

Happy #NationalInternDay – I miss days when that would have been #1 source of jokes about a current US President.

 

So new lying lawyer Trump is claiming that Trump’s old lawyer was a bigger liar. Got it. #TrumpTower

Who knew that publicly humiliating your lawyer at his son’s bar mitzvah might end up affecting his “loyalty.”

 

Maybe Donald Trump Jr. is getting engaged to Kimberly Guilfoyle because if they’re married she can’t testify with anything he’s said to her against him?

Trump has been accused of lying and claiming U.S. Steel is opening “six major facilities.” (They aren’t) So he changed his story. Now he’s claiming SEVEN.
#LiesDamnLiesAndTrumpisms

Meanwhile Fox News website is a Michael Cohen free zone. While they trumpet “Biden gone bad” about Joe’s niece being sentenced in a credit card fraud case.

In a town where EVERYTHING leaks, Robert Mueller might be running the tightest ship in history.

Checked out

July 25, 2018

Yoenis Cespedes will have surgery on his heels and miss the remainder of the 2018 season. Making him luckier than Mets fans.

Marc Ragovin – “In a move to attract fans given their dismal record, the NY Mets have just announced Bubonic Plague Vaccination Night Fridays.”

Jerry Jones says Dallas will require players to stand for anthem, not remain in locker room. As if we didn’t already have enough reason to hate the Cowboys.

So just wondering, will Cowboys owner Jerry Jones close down all the concession stands at AT&T Stadium during the National Anthem? $$$$$$$

 

Kevin Durant on Donald Trump “He doesn’t have a soul, bro,” he doesn’t have a soul. The stuff he says and does, bro. Like, you gotta have something deep down … Something’s missing for you to say that type of stuff.”

Just guessing it’s going to be at least until 2021 until ANY NBA team visits the White House.

Vince Carter has re-upped for his 21st year with the Hawks. Your turn, Manu  Ginobili   #GoSpursGo

Larry Nassar alleges he was assaulted in prison.
“I feel so sorry for him,” said absolutely, positively nobody.

Just when you think you’ve heard them all, United flight delayed from LAX because “a piece of luggage got sucked into the right engine.”
Wonder if they’ll refund the checked bag fee?

FoxNews reports Trump saying HE’s delaying meeting Putin again until 2019 after ‘Russia witch hunt is over”
That’s like your prom date backing out and announcing you decided to ask her to next year’s dance instead

Trump says US and EU have agreed to work toward “zero tariffs.” Dibs on “less than 48 hours” in the pool on when he says the complete opposite.

Trump tweets about “hosting the first-ever #IRFMinisterial. The U.S. will continue to promote #ReligiousFreedom around the world.”
Of course, if you’re Muslim, your religious freedom stops at US border. #WTF?

So POTUS who’d run into a school to face an armed killer is afraid to face an unarmed CNN woman reporter….

“What kind of lawyer would tape a client?”
The kind of lawyer who doesn’t trust his client, for starters. @realDonaldTrump

Trump didn’t create racists in America. He just empowered them.

Seattle covfefe?

July 25, 2018

And didn’t we all have the Giants beating the Mariners because of Kelby Tomlinson’s great night at the plate, a Hunter Pence home run  and Pablo Sandoval’s speed rushing Seattle’s Dee Gordon into an error.

To Casablanca fans…. Prodigal Panda this year, paid by the Red Sox, is doing a nice version for SF Giants fans of “We’ll always have 2012 and 2014.”

Seriously,  Pablo destroyed Verlander in game one in 2012, and then caught the final out in 2014.  Then tried to burn bridges. But they’re rebuilt now.  And it’s a good thing.

 

And airlines wonder why we hate them… United discount fare SF to Newark in October, $342 roundtrip. Adding 4 inches of legroom same seat,  $291 roundtrip additional. No joke.

So wonder how many MAGA farmers who rail against welfare & social services will do principled thing and turn down money from Trump’s $12 billion bailout?

“Tariffs are the greatest,” and “as simple as that.” Well, it’s not like @realDonaldTrump was an Economics major or anything. Wait, never mind.

Groucho Marx “Who ya gonna believe, me or your own eyes?”
@realDonaldTrump “Who ya gonna believe, me or your own eyes AND ears?”

Too bad for workers who will be laid off since Ivanka’s clothing company is shutting down. At least most of them are in China.

The #MAGA world according to Trump? “We become strong, I feel, when we have no friends upon whom to lean, or to look to for moral guidance.”
Benito Mussolini.

 

My new hero. BBC’s #EmilyMaitlis to Sean Spicer “You played with the truth, you led us down a dangerous path. You have corrupted discourse for the entire world by going along with these lies.”

 

From a pizza deliveryman to a daughter-in-law…. Guessing almost all of us, including Trump voters, know and respect someone undocumented. Immigration issues are not easy.

Finally, If #NiaWilson had been white and her killer an immigrant, Trump would already be eulogizing her tonight. Seriously. And if you don’t know the story google it. Please.

Too many.

July 23, 2018

Just how drunk was Iowa DT Brady Reiff? He was arrested and charged with public intoxication this weekend after he tried to get into a vehicle that WASN’T his Uber ride. It was a police car.

I miss the days when #ALLCAPS was trending because of a great hockey team. @Capitals

To be fair, @realDonaldTrump isn’t a hockey fan, so maybe he heard people cheering #ALLCAPS earlier this year and figured it was a winning strategy.

Tim Tebow broke a bone in his hand. So for this season at least he has to put aside his dreams of making the big leagues. Or even the #Mets

Up in the CFL, Johnny Manziel has been traded to the Montreal Alouettes.  And we thought poutine was Montreal’s biggest hot mess.

Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte was suspended for a year for doing an illegal IV containing vitamins.  How did the authorities find out?  He POSTED a picture of himself doing it on Instagram.

Proving again, that athletic ability and brains don’t correlate.  #CantFixStupid

Nikki Haley today in an interview with CBS News,  “We don’t trust Russia, we don’t trust Putin, we never will.  They’re never going to be our friend. That’s just a fact.”

Two words  – “She’s running.”

(and move her up in Trump firing bingo.)

Sarah Sanders, defending Trump’s idea of taking security clearances said officials “have politicized and in some cases monetized their public service”
Did they come up with that strategy at DC’s Trump hotel?

Has someone told the Stable Genius that access to Twitter has been blocked since 2008 in Iran?

Just got a fundraising email from “Lara Trump, Senior Advisor, Donald J. Trump for President, 2020
“Senior Advisor?! Does she have a security clearance too?

If any of us had an elderly parent tweeting like @realDonaldTrump this am, we’d be looking around for a good assisted-living home.

 

 

As we get closer to November, can Democratic voters please remember – save the litmus tests for determining acidity or alkalinity. #VOTE #GOTV

Underexposed

July 23, 2018

NY Mets and Yankees rained out tonight for @ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. What a disappointment for Yankees fans who will now have to wait TWO WHOLE weeks to see their team on Sunday night again.

When you can’t tell if it’s a joke or another “That’s so Mets” thing. Reportedly Noah Syndergaard now on the DL with hand, foot and mouth disease.

 

At least the SF Giants don’t have to take that stupid Bay Bridge Series trophy home.

 

Rider in Tour de France was expelled after he was seen throwing a punch at rider from another team. Not sure about sportsmanship but if this catches on Tour de France ratings could double.

Georgia Southern University student blames autocorrect for a racial text about a future roommate, saying she meant to type “triggerish.”
Right, like autocorrect on your phone will ever result in something MORE offensive. Mine repeatedly tried to say SF Giants were “ducking” instead of sucking today.

 

Wonder if Trump spent more time alone with Putin this month than he’s spent alone with Melania?

 

Comey telling Dems what to do in future elections is like going into Pottery Barn, knocking something off the shelf, then telling the staff how to glue it together. #YouBreakItYouBuyIt

 

If @realDonaldTrump thinks a meeting & some commemorative coins will get him Nobel Peace Prize, makes sense he’ll think all caps will solve an Iran threat.

From a Washington Post article on Trump supporters in Alabama. One complaining about “the racial divide,” which she believed was getting worse. “The evidence was all the black people protesting about the police, and all the talk about the legacy of slavery, which Sheila never believed was as bad as people said it was. “Slaves were valued,” she said. “They got housing. They got fed. They got medical care.””
Sheila is a Sunday School teacher.

I remember those “We survived Clinton you will survive Bush” and “We survived Bush, you will survive Obama” t-shirts.
Now it’s “We survived Obama, and not sure if we WILL survive Trump.”

Plus ca change…

July 21, 2018

So after MLB commissioner Manfred complains Mike Trout isn’t marketing himself, Fox Game of the Week is Cardinals vs. Cubs, followed by ESPN Sunday Night Baseball Mets vs. Yankees.

Sign at Coliseum exit off Highway 880. “Today’s game is sold out.”. A’s fans are going ” What’s a sellout? ” #sfgiants #Athletics

Mets trade closer Jeurys Familia to A’s. Well, not as if they were giving him many games to close.

And regarding this “Bay Bridge Series” trophy – can both teams make a pact? #Justsayno

Tim Tebow put on DL for Binghamton AA team with a  hand injury.

So what’s worse – for the AA team who were counting on him being able to sell tickets?  Or the Mets who were hoping for that September attendance boosting call up?

On the other hand, given the thousands of people who were stuck in traffic and  almost certainly missed the first few innings, have to figure at least folks in Oakland finally know what it’s like to be Dodgers fans.

Madison Bumgarner for first time in 90 starts can’t make it through five innings….giving up 3 runs on 2 hits  Four walks.  On the other hand,  All-Star Jon Lester against the Cardinals Thurday  – 8 earned runs, 5 walks in 3 innings.  Everything is relative.

And baseball is a funny game.

 

Mueller has subpoenaed a Madam. Well, not as if we think @realDonaldTrump would ever patronize a brothel. And if he did he would CERTAINLY have paid all his bills….

Anyone else notice that about EVERY Trump endorsement tweet has basically the same phrase “very strong on Crime and Borders, LOVES our Military, Vets and the 2nd Amendment.”
Well, dementia patients do tend to repeat themselves.

Remember when Gerald Ford lost an election by saying “there is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe?”
And now @POTUS trying to say the same about Russia and the US…

We know without reading story that if Trump is tweeting about it suspect in Los Angeles Trader Joe’s hostage situation wasn’t a white man.

Over 62,000,000 Americans voted for Trump in 2016
Over 106,000,000 eligible voters didn’t vote at all.
Why are we banging our heads against the wall trying to convince the former group? #GOTV

Out of reach

July 20, 2018

First game after the All-Star Break.   Have the Baltimore Orioles been officially eliminated yet?

 

And didn’t all SFGiants fans have Dereck Rodriguez as the ace of the staff at the All-Star break?

Why we love Gregg Popovich, asked about what the Spurs had endured during the offseason:   “This is basketball.  Enduring, I think, is pretty much a misnomer. We’re playing a child’s game and getting paid for it. Enduring? Just look at the TV and what is going on in the world. There’s a lot of people enduring. We’re not enduring anything.”

 

(Trump might go after Popovich, if he weren’t sure the Spurs coach would kick his ass.)

-NATO, Russia summit, payoffs to a Playboy Bunny…. And @realDonaldTrump is tweet raging about NFL and anthem?
Is it still infrastructure week?

=

Seriously.  This on FAQs on Royal Caribbean Cruise website.
“Are there rules about grabbing a turtle or any other marine life and going for a ride?” #beammeupscotty

 

Reports from HuffPost that Kimberly Guilfoyle did not leave Fox voluntarily. When you’re too toxic for Fox News….

Republicans gutting the Endangered Species Act. Which they may regret when the GOP itself is acknowledged as an Endangered Species.

Lordy, there ARE tapes.

Moral of today’s #MichaelCohen story – Don’t f*ck with your lawyer.

So with Cohen gone who’s @realDonaldTrump going to find to pay prostitutes for Putin’s visit to DC?

 

Trump is reportedly very upset about #MichaelCohen‘s lack of loyalty. And who’d a thunk the lawyer you humiliated at his son’s bar mitzvah would ever turn on you?

If it comes out that Trump paid one of his mistresses to get an abortion about how many minutes will it take for MAGAers to blame it on the woman?

 

CNN calls Putin “the most powerful man in the World”. Silly network. Putin isn’t the most powerful man in the world, only the most powerful man in the White House.

 

From an anonymous & wise friend – “There should be an investigation to see if anyone in the Trump administration has any ties to America.”

Kneed off.

July 19, 2018

Miami Dolphins could suspend players up to 4 games for kneeling during the anthem. Open note to PED users, if you know you’re going to be tested, kneel & take the same 4 game suspension without the drug taint on your record. @NFL

Carmelo Anthony has been sent to Atlanta. So while we can’t yet cure cancer, apparently it can be traded.

Carmelo Anthony rumored to be signing eventually with Houston Rockets. Which is great news, for the Warriors, Lakers and Spurs.

MLB commissioner Rob Manfred says Mike Trout would be a bigger star if he marketed himself. What about if ESPN & Fox showed other teams beside the Yankees, Red Sox and Cubs?

Meanwhile, while most teams continue their All-Star break, MLB has scheduled ONE game, on ESPN for July 19. Surprise surprise surprise… it’s the Cardinals vs. Cubs.

-And the next three Sunday Night baseball games:
July 22 – Mets at Yankees
July 29 – Cubs at Cardinals
Aug 5 – Yankees at Red Sox

Dibs on “less than 2 weeks” for the “how long Dan Coats lasts in this White House” pool.

Why do we say GOP is prostituting themselves over Trump/Russia collusion? Prostitutes provide value when they get money for screwing people.

If Larry Nassar had run for office as a Republican, most of GOP would be saying all those girls were lying too. #sistersurvivors
Nice that Jeff Flake made speech calling @realDonaldTrump out. If only the Senator could do something, like you know, vote against him sometime.

Kirstjen Nielsen was partly right correct on Charlottesville that it wasn’t as if “one side was right and the other side was wrong.”. It was that one side was right and the other was very VERY wrong.

Does anyone think Trump was surprised when they told him about Russian interference in the election. He trusts his BFF Vlad to keep his promises.

 

So when @realDonaldTrump invites Putin to USA will also he take Vlad target shooting for pedestrians on New York’s 5th Avenue?

Trump has invited Putin to Washington DC this fall. Well, yes, Vlad wants to see what he’s purchased.

 

Fake awards?

July 18, 2018

Watching Jim Kelly on ESPY  really makes me wish his Bills had won a Super Bowl.

 

Just saying, many of us do NOT think Viking over Saints was best sports moment of year.
And as for thanking God, “God is going, don’t blame me, I was going for a beer to celebrate Saints win.  #GeauxSaints

 

No one knows what’s in Josh Hader’s heart about now. But guessing thousands of older and wiser MLB players are really glad they didn’t grow up in the Twitter era.

And wonder how many young MLB players are learning today how to scrub their Twitter accounts.

Meanwhile, as the fan-voted MLB All-Star starters left a 2-1 game in the 7th, and the reserves made it an 8-6 home run derby ending in the 10th, got to think that  fans don’t spend enough time watching top players.

Know makeup can be expensive, but at this point doesn’t Sarah Sanders have a lifetime supply of burnt facts for her perfect smokey eye?

Trump “There’s been no President ever as tough as I have been on Russia.” And tonight he’ll call Putin to say “Did I say it right?”

So Sarah Sanders walks back Trump’s walk back of his walk back of his saying Russia didn’t interfere in the election.
Who needs coal, we can power US on the wind power from all this spin.

 

So when will Republicans release a copy of their new party platform in Russian?

Has anyone told the Russians how much Trump’s “important verbal agreements” mean?

So who had Montenegro in Trump insult bingo?

Tweet from John McCain – ” The people of #Montenegro boldly withstood pressure from #Putin’s Russia to embrace democracy. The Senate voted 97-2 supporting its accession to #NATO. By attacking Montenegro & questioning our obligations under NATO, the President is playing right into Putin’s hands.”

In other words,Trump is just doing the job Putin elected him to do.

 

Finally, I know this country is deeply divided now,  and this blog is more politics than sports most days about now.  But good to know we still have some bipartisan agreement and priorities.  The following is currently my most popular tweet ever.

“MLB commissioner Rob Manfred says Mike Trout would be a bigger star if he marketed himself. What about if ESPN & Fox showed other teams beside the Yankees, Red Sox and Cubs?”

Love may fade, but the internet is forever.

July 17, 2018

Josh Hader, 24, says he plans to apologize to teammates for his just discovered racist & homophobic (mostly) teenage tweets. ‘No excuses. I was dumb and stupid.”
Give the guy credit for not claiming someone hacked his account.

 

Two days left in MLB All-Star Break. Plenty of time for a lot of players to clean up their old Twitter accounts.

On a brighter note for Josh Hader, he’s now the MLB player most likely to be invited to the Trump White House.

So a World Series title wasn’t enough? Some @Cubs fans are claiming Bryce Harper cheated in the Home Run Derby by having his dad toss pitches before the prior balls hit the ground. I don’t care, do u?

MGM Resorts International sues more than 1,000 victims from Las Vegas mass shooting, denying any liability.  And then they’ll change their name to something more popular – like Trump Hotels?

Secret Service agent who suffered stroke while protecting @realDonaldTrump at his Turnberry Golf Club has died. So nice to see @POTUS acknowledging his service & loss to his family.
Oh wait, crickets, just tweets slamming Dems and “Fake News Media.” #WTF?

To say that Donald Trump caved to Putin yesterday implies Trump wasn’t working for him all along.

Media really should apologize for calling Trump #PutinsPoodle. To owners of poodles.

Kimberly Guilfoyle on new boyfriend Donny Jr. “the number one up-and-coming political figure on the right.”
Guess they don’t do drug testing at Fox News?

And we thought Reagan was showing signs of dementia in the White House.

Trump tweet “The meeting between President Putin and myself was a great success, except in the Fake News Media!”
Translation “Who you going to believe, me or your lying eyes, and ears?”

For all the accusations that liberals think Trump voters are stupid, after “would/wouldn’t” today it seems obvious that TRUMP thinks his voters are stupid.

At this point think if Putin released a pee tape Trumpsters would praise @POTUS for helping aspiring actresses.

Maybe we should give @realDonaldTrump some credit for saying he confused “would” and #wouldnt in his press conference with Putin. Don’t we all get a little tongue-tied in front of our boss?

Trump asked about Russia on Fox News “I don’t want to use the word ‘adversary.” But media is the “enemy of the people.”

 

 

“”Frankly my dear, I give a damn.”  “We’ll always not have Paris.”   “I’m going to make him an offer he can refuse.”  #TrumpAQuote

Going going gone?

July 16, 2018

Bryce Harper is good at baseball.

I do miss the days when for many of us in SF Bay Area our biggest worry this morning would have been ‘What happened to the SF Giants offense?”

At least Trump was too jet-lagged or uninterested to show up and disrupt MLB’s Home Run Derby.   #smallmercies

 

What’s worse. Kneeling for the national anthem? Or kneeling in front of Vladimir Putin. Asking for a country.

I know Americans are upset, but we need to put this in perspective, while meeting Putin, Barack  Obama might have worn a tan suit.

As a collector of Russian lacquer boxes that all show fairy tale scenes, want to know, where’s the commemorative box for this morning’s Trump-Putin press conference?

The world according to @realDonaldTrump
Democracies – Bad
Dictatorships – Good

Trump “I don’t see any reason why it would be” Russia who attacked the US. So he’s either a treasonous liar, or it was time for the 25th amendment yesterday.

So really, why should a US President take the word of ALL US intelligence agencies over a nice guy like Vladimir Putin?

We are all #RandPaul‘s neighbor.

At this point have to assume if Donald Trump stood up and said “Of course Putin helped me win and he’s promised to do it again,” many Trump supporters would applaud and say “As he should.”

Must. Not. Make. Chris. Christie. Jokes. The London Trump baby blimp is headed to New Jersey

We need ONE GOP Senator who is not retiring to put country over party. The history books are waiting. And yes, I might be talking to you @lisamurkowski or @marcorubio

 

 

Trump tells Hannity “Mueller probe has driven ‘wedge’ between Russia and US.”
Right, that’s like claiming your spouse discovering affair drove a wedge between you & your lover.

 

Just a thought, if #TreasonSummit DOES turn out to be that proverbial breaking straw can we be nice to Trump supporters who change their minds. At least for a little while. Plenty of time to start fighting again later.#Countryoverparty.