Archive for September 19, 2015

Any given Saturday?

September 19, 2015

Stanford’s road to the Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl might have hit a  speed bump tonight.

‪#‎Fearthetree‬ ‪#‎Nerdnation‬ ‪#‎GoStanford‬. “Saw this coming” said NOBODY. ‪#‎STANvsUSC‬

Headline you didn’t expect to see- “Ohio State holds off Northern Illinois, 20-13.” Sounds like the Buckeyes’ players took this game about as seriously as they take their classes.

Notre Dame won today but safety Drue Tranquill injured his right knee chest-bumping a teammate after breaking up a pass in the first half. So Touchdown Jesus may be backing the Fighting Irish, but Mean Bitch Karma still doesn’t like showboating.

Author Jackie Collins has passed away at 77. And millions of women are thinking, “How sad.” Millions of men are going “Who?”

Marshawn Lynch filmed an entire Pepsi ad without speaking. Out of habit Roger Goodell fined him.

In New York City, authorities have closed a child-care center after staff members were accused of accidentally leaving a 2-year-old-boy at a playground. Apparently they just miscounted the children. Yeah, who really needs math anyway?

Donald Trump just released a policy paper saying he wants to end bans on certain gun types, and that he supports nationwide concealed carry permits. Fine. Can the Donald start by allowing concealed carry at all his campaign events?

A 91-year-old Florida man, Max Horton, was arrested for allegedly shooting at his neighbors’ landscapers because they got lawn clippings on his caregivers car. In 2013, he was accused of threatening Florida Hospital staffers, telling them he had a gun in his car and they’d be sorry if he went to get it. And this time police said, while being taken to jail, Horton also allegedly threatened to get “payback” on his neighbors.
Thinking this is not what our forefathers meant by a well-regulated militia

Guess Sarah Palin couldn’t let her daughter have all the headlines, so she too is ranting over Ahmed Mohamed, saying the boy is an “obstinate-answering student” (say what?) , and that his device “obviously could be seen by conscientious teachers as a dangerous wired-up bomb-looking contraption.” Adding “Right, if that’s a clock, I’m the Queen of England.”
So in addition to everything else Sarah has delusions of royalty?

Trump says “I am not morally obligated” to correct a man who claimed Obama was a Muslim. Uh, Trump was correct after the first 11 letters.

A shocking upset in the rugby World Cup, as Japan upset South Africa. Shocking the Japanese especially. “We have a rugby team?

A new iiPhone app will tell users how much time they have wasted playing games and checking social media. So will the app also have the ability to check how much time you waste checking it?

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My friend Owen Byrd shares this tweet from @JaymayAllDay – ‪#‎wishIhadsaidthis‬ : “If Carly Fiorina really wants to destroy Planned Parenthood, she should become its CEO.”

Low scores

September 19, 2015

The EPA has accused Volkswagen of installing a “defeat device” in 482,000 cars sold in the U.S to trick regulators and evade federal emission regulations.

So, the question, is Volkswagen just the nastiest, most dishonest car maker? Or have other companies just installed better software and not gotten caught?

In Costa Rica last weekend, authorities say a mob of tourists, many with selfie sticks, crowded a beach and prevented sea turtles from laying their eggs along the Pacific Coast. Where is a good tsunami when you REALLY need one?

Tiger Woods just announced he had another back surgery and won’t return until 2016. “This is unfortunate, but these things happen. I’ve been injured before and played again. It won’t be any different this time.”
So that means plenty more optimism and hype, then a lot more missed cuts?

Donald Trump has cancelled a South Carolina appearance because. according to an email from his campaign – “Mr. Trump has a significant business transaction that was expected to close Thursday.”

I can see it now, that 3am phone call – “Sorry, President Trump is asleep because he has something important to do in the morning.”

A study of the brains of 91 deceased NFL players showed 87 of them tested positive for CTE brain disease. Maybe we haven’t come as far as we thought from Christians vs. Lions.

John Kasich, at a lunch for a group trying to attract more Hispanic voters:
“I look at our friends in the Latino community as people that ought to be voting Republican. … They are great, caring, hardworking folks. And a lot of them do jobs that, that they’re willing to do. That’s why in the hotel you leave a little tip, you know?”
Beginning to see why the Ohio governor keeps his mouth largely shut during the debates…..

Here we go again: Bristol Palin wrote about the President inviting teen clock maker Ahmed Mohamed to the White House. “This is the kind of stuff Obama needs to STAY out of. This encourages more racial strife that is already going on with the “Black Lives Matter” crowd and encourages victimhood.”

Right, as opposed to when GOP candidates issue invitations and heap praise on, say Kim Davis.